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Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 3:08:37 PM   
CatdeMedici


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Why in the hell is every other post about some man who can't keep his hands off his cylinder? Why are we constantly bombarded with men screaming, "oh help me Mistress, I cannot stop touching myself, to serve you , YOU must control my dick and its will?" "ooohhh please, i can't control myself, if you will just focus on me and my penis, so i get the attention i need, i can do anything you want","you control me and then i will do you because by controlling me, it's only a matter of time before i get what I really want"???
 
Why are there so few about females?  Why are there so few that talk about out of control clits? Erect little bumps taking focus away from work, responsibilities, driving, commitment, etc etc etc.  We don't even see too many about female chastity?  

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 3:53:05 PM   
HeavansKeeper


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I'm led to believe women are better at controlling their sexuality than men. Some say biological reasons. I say mostly socio-cultural.

Submissives try to be attractive by presenting what they think the other side wants. That, or they're blinded by their fantasy, which has such a driving need, it inspires faux submission. Said bottom doesn't have a service oriented mindset... It's just they would do terrible, disgusting, amazing, fascinating things to get their fantasy met. This is often muddled into "submission."

I'm convinced women who are raised aware and open about their sexuality would be more like the men CatdeMedici described.

Point of conversation, there are emotional needs many female submissives aspire to in the same way. Most of the people who participate on the forums are not these two behaviors. I do see a lot of men begging their mistress to be to control their wild cocks, and a lot of women begging masters to be to control their wild hearts.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:01:10 PM   
CatdeMedici


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quote:

I do see a lot of men begging their mistress to be to control their wild cocks, and a lot of women begging masters to be to control their wild hearts.


If only submissive men got the heart part. Well stated.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:03:08 PM   
Lockit


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LOL... I was always considered like a man in how I viewed sex and what I wanted... but I still didn't let a cock lead me!  I think it is all a matter of excuses.  They were raised thinking maybe that it was a man's make up and basically the beast could not be controlled and then some had women focusing all on the men and somehow they all thought it should be about them and what they wanted.  The more they played and liked it... they wanted to play some more and if they couldn't find a woman... lefty or righty and a good imagination were compulsivily sought.  It is easier to beat off than to actually have a conversation with a woman.

But puberty should end at some point... There are a lot of weak ass excuses... where there shouldn't be the allowence for such in adult's... but... its that puberty thing...

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:04:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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A female supremacist wrote to me all about his little wishes, including lots about controlling the mad urges, etc.  I asked him if he truly believed that men were nothing but bags of bubbling hormones, fit for nothing but sexual release and opening large jars.  The answer was yes.  I am a foolish person to think that any man would want to approach me as a human being, since the mere sight of me generates both mad lust, and the desire to "submit".

No, I wasn't flattered...  I gathered somehow that ANY woman generates that kind of feeling in that type of person. 

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:05:34 PM   
HeavansKeeper


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

*snip*
But puberty should end at some point...
*snip*


Death.


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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:05:49 PM   
Lockit


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LOL... it doesn't even take a woman... just the thought of one!

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:07:00 PM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

*snip*
But puberty should end at some point...
*snip*


Death.



ROFL...

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:07:40 PM   
DesFIP


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Put women into chastity and suddenly you're running an animal shelter. Known fact.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:08:20 PM   
ElanSubdued


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CatdeMedici,

--- Why are there so few about females?  Why
--- are there so few that talk about out of control
--- clits?  Erect little bumps taking focus away
--- from work, responsibilities, driving, commitment,
--- etc etc etc.  We don't even see too many
--- about female chastity?

(BEGIN:  dark commentary)

You're simply viewing the wrong topics.  Look up a third world country and FGM (Female Genital Mutilation), and you'll find plenty of real life stories about clits that have been taken away so their owners can ostensibly concentrate, remain loyal, and be ready for marriage.  It's correct to say though that many of the owners of these deposed clits, provided they survive the experience, aren't too happy about it, especially if they've had any exposure to more modern thinking and humane ideals.

(END:  dark commentary)

Elan.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:11:34 PM   
Lockit


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LOL... well... that practice is just sick... but... to piss them off... a woman like me... could get off a couple of different ways besides kicking their insecure... most likely three strokes and your out ass's.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:12:26 PM   
ElanSubdued


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HeavansKeeper,

quote:

I'm led to believe women are better at controlling their sexuality than men. Some say biological reasons. I say mostly socio-cultural.  (snip)  I'm convinced women who are raised aware and open about their sexuality would be more like the men CatdeMedici described.  Point of conversation, there are emotional needs many female submissives aspire to in the same way.  Most of the people who participate on the forums are not these two behaviors.  I do see a lot of men begging their mistress to be to control their wild cocks, and a lot of women begging masters to be to control their wild hearts.


*agreeing with your observation*

Elan.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:21:13 PM   
ElanSubdued


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LadyHibiscus,

--- I am a foolish person to think that any
--- man would want to approach me as a
--- human being, since the mere sight of me
--- generates both mad lust, and the desire
--- to "submit".

With this kind of magic aura, you'll have your "stable" populated in no time!

--- No, I wasn't flattered...  I gathered
--- somehow that ANY woman generates
--- that kind of feeling in that type of person.

Oops.  There's always a wrench in every nirvana isn't there. :-)

Elan.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:27:17 PM   
DavanKael


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Hmmmm, as a woman who could put the libido of most platoons of men to shame, I still refuse to go beyond certain points to have those needs fulfilled.  I would find it humiliating to do so.  I think that is actually the crux of the matter as I am thinking more on this; somehow, that desire for humiliation that seems so endogenous to lots of men who beg to have their cocks controlled, then the power grab (topping from the bottom, if you will) to manipulate to getting what they want rather than serving as almost a bratty recoil.  Not calling all male submissives brats but definitely think it is a bratty practice to beg to be controlled then buck it.  I notice a lot more male submissives asking for humiliation than females and perhaps it is because of traditional societal roles.  I'm going to devote more thought to this, but I think that that babbling I just did has some veracity.  Hell, at least it's a bit of mental masturbation, lol!  :> 
Hope y'all are havin' a good weekend!
  Davan

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 4:57:25 PM   
ElanSubdued


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Lockit,

--- LOL... well... that practice is just sick...
--- but... to piss them off... a woman like
--- me... could get off a couple of different
--- ways besides kicking their insecure...
--- most likely three strokes and your
--- out ass's.

The irony is two things (if my understanding is correct):

1.)  Many of the practitioners of FGM are women.  (i.e. those performing the practice).  It's done for religious and cultural reasons.

2.)  A woman can still have a sexual response after FGM (even after the most severe form - full removal of the external female genitalia and narrowing/closing of the vaginal opening) because parts of the clitoris remain internally.  This is the really stupid part.  The practice doesn't actually stop women from having a sexual response (which I believe is part of the reason it's done).  Certainly though, FGM has a big impact on a woman's sexual functioning.  Psychologically, things are a little different because it depends on how a woman who has undergone FGM feels about the procedure.  In some cultures, as odd as this sounds to us, women who have not undergone FGM would suffer more, psychologically, than those who have not.  Cultural pressures and norms play a big part in this.

Elan.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 5:17:14 PM   
HeavansKeeper


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I have been in countless debates about FGM, even some here on CM. I'm willing to duke it out anytime (for the record I am vehemently against).

But I don't see how it came up.. Was it a response to the concept of being insatiable regarding sex?

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 5:22:02 PM   
Lockit


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Very true Elan and the women in the states fought the hardest to stick to it all a while back when it was a big issue on legality here.  It wasn't the men saying something, but the mother's!  A number of years ago... god, way over fifteen years ago I was working with a group of women in protest of all of this.  I was told that a woman was less likely to cheat on her husband if this was done. Then I think they brought in some right of passage... stupid shit.  I would think the simple fact that most wive's can be murdered for shaming her husband or family in some countries would be enough to stop it... and that stoning thing... but at the moment I can't remember what country does what.  I just remember they were trying to do it here in the states and were running into trouble.

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 5:32:13 PM   
CdnExplorer


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Hmm...why is it that I know so many women in the community here who have sex drives that could make most men pale in comparison? Is it something in the water where I live? Or could it just be that in traditional western culture female sexuality and sexual pleasure was seen as a bad thing and denied? The result being that girls are taught to not acknowledge having that drive. The flip side of that is how traditional western culture depicts men as being extremely focused on sex and sexually aggressive. Any man who steps outside of that role by being uninterested in sex, is homosexual or interested in submissive / experimental sexual experiences is looked down upon. There was actually a study in Canada recently that confirmed these attitudes among students of both genders currently in university. Guys who fall into those categories have to pretend to be "normal". I know I've certainly been looked down upon by some women when they found out that in university I wasn't chasing everything wearing a skirt.

So the answer to the question is that these male sub stereotypes come from vanilla gender identities, and are basically a load of crap. Chastity and orgasm control can be a lot of fun. The fem sup tropes we're talking about here simply add some flavor to that by appropriating the somewhat oppressive gender roles we've been taught are "right". Not my cup of tea, but different strokes for different folks. The reason we don't hear about a lot of female submissives being into this might be that many were conditioned to supress their sexuality before ever coming into the lifestyle. I guess swapping some of the gender role attributes like that can make people feel more dirty or sexualized, which is exciting.

I do have to say though that even as a submissive I find female chastity belts to be kinda hot. Though if I were a dom I'd have a hard time keeping it locked on lol.

Edit: And yes, taking away attention is attention...of a sort. I've found that orgasm denial without a significant amount of attention or teasing loses its appeal pretty quickly. Plus why would a domme just lock it up and pretend it doesn't exist? Where is the fun in that for her? In the end it's all just a lot of fun, sexy games.


< Message edited by CdnExplorer -- 3/21/2009 5:35:20 PM >

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 6:38:03 PM   
hairslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Why in the hell is every other post about some man who can't keep his hands off his cylinder? Why are we constantly bombarded with men screaming, "oh help me Mistress, I cannot stop touching myself, to serve you , YOU must control my dick and its will?" "ooohhh please, i can't control myself, if you will just focus on me and my penis, so i get the attention i need, i can do anything you want","you control me and then i will do you because by controlling me, it's only a matter of time before i get what I really want"???
 
Why are there so few about females?  Why are there so few that talk about out of control clits? Erect little bumps taking focus away from work, responsibilities, driving, commitment, etc etc etc.  We don't even see too many about female chastity?  


Ladies,.. If i may add, Those guys are just saying that they aren’t in ( and don’t have any ) self control of them selves. i Have said before and i will say again,” Most guys think with the head between their legs and only use the head on their shoulders for a hat rack!” Now just what would any Domme want with kind of sub?!

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RE: Taking away attention IS attention, isn't it? - 3/21/2009 6:54:54 PM   
Lockit


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Most of us don't want anything to do with those types of submissive's...lol  But to say that most think with their cock... might have some truth... but there are many who don't and I think they get a bad rap when compared at least by just being male... when we toss them into the bunch.  There are wonderful submissive men who use their brain and still have fun with their cock...

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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