Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (Full Version)

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MistresseLotus -> Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 2:40:46 PM)

While watching a documentary on Ted Bundy today, I found myself a tad unsettled.  Ted did his thing during the time I was in my 20’s.  I realized that I could have easily been a victim.
 
He approached his victims on crutches feigning an injury and asking for the simple act of helping him get into his VW.  I realized how easily I would have been taken in.  He was a very smooth talking, attractive guy.  He would have asked if I would ride with him back to his place to help him get inside and carry his groceries.  I would have done that.  I am “helper” type.  It would have never occurred to me as to how I was going to get home.  It would have never occurred to me to ask him who helped him get INTO his car or how he could drive a stick shift with an injured leg.     
 
I look at this D/s lifestyle and wonder... how many of you blindly meet a “Dom” at a motel room because you knew them a whole month online.  How many of you submit to bondage on the first meeting?  How many of you so want to be the “perfect sub” that you refuse to use your safe word or set up a safe call because you want to prove trust in “your Dom/me”?
 
I cringe when I read here from people who meet and play on the first date.  I see people that want to be accepted so badly they will compromise themselves.  That is so sad because those are the ones who become the new statistics.
 
I guess what I want to impress upon you, dear readers, is do not seek to validate yourself via this lifestyle.  It can be a deadly game of truth or dare.  Out of all the lifestyles out there, this is the one where the Bundy types can hide so easily. 
 
As Sergeant Esterhouse used to say, “Let’s be careful out there”.
 



Lockit -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 2:45:39 PM)

There was a show on recently about a man from MO who met women online and met in hotels.  He killed many.  He was convicted in 2002 and is on death row.  Typical neighbor guy.  John Robinson who went by Jim Turner.



MistresseLotus -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 2:50:38 PM)

Yes, that was John Robinson.  Another was Gary Ridgeway (The GreenRiver Killer) who would go out after work to clubs looking for "kink".  He killed 48 women.



domiguy -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 2:53:45 PM)

Not buying what you are selling here.

Zillions of people hook up. Few are killed. 

There are zillions of kids in the U.S. ...Few are abducted.

Yeah, there are Ted Bundy's out there and yeah chicks like Natalie Holloway get offed everynow and again. 

Big deal.  Crime is reported at such a rampant rate it seems that danger is lurking behind every door.  It's simply not true.  Murder rates are down.  And what is even more ridiculous is that the murder rate is actually the number of murders committed and is not weighed against population increases.

Of course if you are a black woman or a black child you really have very little to worry about...I can't recall ever  seeing a story in the national news about anyone black disappearing or being kidnapped. Therefore, I can only imagine that it never takes place.  Black people are so lucky.

Hook up, go on one night stands, fuck strangers (use protection).  The chances of it biting you in the ass to the point of your demise in almost nonexistant.



MistresseLotus -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 2:55:51 PM)

Domi.. YOU are exactly the type of guy I'd avoid like the plague.



Lockit -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 3:01:46 PM)

Well... my brother was kidnapped... raped and all that.  Was almost killed.  Then became the only surviving victim of the Freeway killer, William Bonin.  Bonin I believe was convicted on 13 counts of murder of young men and was believed to committed far more.

It happens.  It doesn't have to be a number's thing becasue anyone could be the unlucky one.  I don't suggest living in fear... but live so that you can really live and without a lifetime nightmare if you do survive.

I do agree that the media isn't fair though!



domiguy -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 3:13:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

Domi.. YOU are exactly the type of guy I'd avoid like the plague.


Only because I would be forced to kill you.  Other than that little faux pas, it would be a lovely evening that we both would never forget. 

PM me.



OneMoreWaste -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:25:37 PM)

Wrong moral.

The actual lesson to be learned is to beware of handsome, charismatic men asking you for favors.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Of course if you are a black woman or a black child you really have very little to worry about...I can't recall ever  seeing a story in the national news about anyone black disappearing or being kidnapped. Therefore, I can only imagine that it never takes place.  Black people are so lucky.


Except for Tawana Brawley. Oh, wait...





NorthernGent -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:37:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus

Out of all the lifestyles out there, this is the one where the Bundy types can hide so easily.  
 


Ahhhh, he's harmless, really. Give the lad a chance.




Arpig -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:40:42 PM)

I am with Domiguy on this one...the odds of being abducted or killed are very very small...not worth worrying about...but then I am a an old fart, and nobody wants to abduct or kill an old fart



Lockit -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:42:47 PM)

LOL... Dead men are not dangerous... well... unless they are in your living room and the cops think you did it.  But I think we are safe with that Bundy dude.



Lockit -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:45:35 PM)

I find it interesting that it is the men who feel it isn't something to be concerned with.  How many of you have been raped?  We women... know how often one can be vulnerable and see things a bit differently I think.  For us it can be a reality... for you men... less likely once you are grown and haven't known such vulnerablities.



NorthernGent -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:52:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... Dead men are not dangerous... well... unless they are in your living room and the cops think you did it.  But I think we are safe with that Bundy dude.



Well, I'm not really that taken by true crime........usual story of only child from Middle Class parents spends his childhood pulling wings off birds and graduates to eating less than receptive strangers.......gets a tad boring after the second edition....but I did watch a film about Ted Bundy and I suppose the moral of the story is this: avoid anyone sat in a tree and wanking outside of your home.....he may attempt to kill you at some point.



Aylee -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:53:49 PM)

At one time I had heard that the FBI said there were about 50 serial killers at any given time.  I have no idea if this holds true today.



slvemike4u -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 4:59:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I find it interesting that it is the men who feel it isn't something to be concerned with.  How many of you have been raped?  We women... know how often one can be vulnerable and see things a bit differently I think.  For us it can be a reality... for you men... less likely once you are grown and haven't known such vulnerablities.
Yeah ,but Lockit I'm usually the one in handcuffs....so who's vulnerable now?



LaTigresse -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 5:11:55 PM)

I don't worry about it. I've got a good head on my shoulders and an excellent gut feeling thing going.

Domiguy is one I would be happy to meet. A few others on here, not so much so.

It is usually the "nice" ones you gotta watch out for, they are trying to sell you a false bill of goods.



slaveluci -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 5:21:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
I am a an old fart, and nobody wants to abduct or kill an old fart

[image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/rofl.gif[/image]  Speak for yourself.  I can think of several old farts I could do without (Dick Cheney,  Rupert Murdoch, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and others just to name a few). 

PS - you don't look like an old fart to me and, if I remember correctly from prior threads, you have some pretty great taste in music too[:)]...................luci



aravain -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 5:28:15 PM)

~FR~

I dunno, I mean, I've done the meeting with strangers thing, and even sex (a few times with some kinky stuff thrown in before I decided that I didn't really 'feel it' without some kind of connection) on first meet, with people that I had only emailed once or twice. I'm still here to talk about it (though one guy was an ass and left me stranded once).

At the same time I'm a huge, intimidating person. Generally people believe that if I got violent I'd be able to tear them apart (which, generally, I may be able to but probably wouldn't), so they don't try. I'm also fairly certain that it *has* thrown some people off of meeting with me, entirely. For people who are much less intimidating, well... I'd probably be more worried.

All THAT said, I usually have someone that I'm supposed to call by X time, and I have a secret 'code' too with people who, if I call them, they know 'hey, there's something wrong!' without me being upset or letting the other person know.

I'd say it's a cost/risk assessment. If someone ever asks, though, I will say "NO do not play on the first meet (sexually or otherwise), and meet somewhere public!" with a different emphasis if it's "casual" sex or something.



trappedinamuseum -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 5:36:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistresseLotus   
 
I look at this D/s lifestyle and wonder... how many of you blindly meet a “Dom” at a motel room because you knew them a whole month online.  How many of you submit to bondage on the first meeting?  How many of you so want to be the “perfect sub” that you refuse to use your safe word or set up a safe call because you want to prove trust in “your Dom/me”?
 


I vehemently disagree.  I met a guy from CM for breakfast two weeks after first messaging him.  We went back to his place.  We played (at his place again) one month after meeting online  I have never used my safeword, even though it is there.  This was in October.  I saw him again on Friday.

I used my gut and my instinct.  He never made me feel uncomfortable or has given me any reason not to trust him fully.  If I don't trust him yet, that is on me, not him.  I'm not an idiot.  Nor am I a fool.  But I believe in trusting your instincts, and giving people a chance.  I may be overly optimistic here but I would rather take a chance than be left without the experience (I should end with the caveat that if the guy looks like Manson and carves things into his forehead, I'm probably gonna avoid him.  I may give people the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not suicidal).

YMMV.



NeedToUseYou -> RE: Are you REALLY any smarter than a "nilla? (3/22/2009 5:38:58 PM)

Personally, most "dangers" are over hyped, so, could I be tricked by a serial killer, almost certainly, because I won't go through life protecting myself unnecessarily from the 1 in 100000 chance that a serial killer might target me. Now, women, sure, their odds are probably 1 in 1000 that if they open themselves to vulnerable situations, that it may lead rape or something.  I'm not a woman though.

I've walked through "bad sections" of towns in the middle of the night before, without incident. The key to going to these areas is not to look like you have shit they want. LOL. And most people will not kill people they don't have a history with, most people will not rob you, unless you look like you have something worth stealing. So, would I be scared to go to any bad section of any city, in a 200,000 dollar car, damn straight, would I be worried if I drove in there in a 1999 toyota Camry. No.

The point is if you don't invite trouble, or flaunt, it's doubtful you'll run into adverse situations, at least as a male. Women, well, it may be another story, because of rape.

Overall my whole point is, the thought of serial killers, and such is for the most part out of proportion to the real threat. More than likely if you're married and you're murdered it'll be your husband doing the killing.



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