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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 4:06:03 PM

stella41b

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Yes, tickling Mod11's feet just to see if she can go up to 13.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 4:09:23 PM

LovingMistress45

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Fantasies are just that - as long as you know what not to act on you are ok. Have ever had a fantasy about doing something that would violate a hard limit? Yes. Have I ever violated a hard limit? No. Fantasies about violating trust - no. Frankly I have shared my fantasies at time with the sub in question because it makes a good mind fuck.

In one of my more sadistic moments I actually made him beg me to do something that would have violated a hard limit and had I done it would have violated trust. But I got off on his struggle to beg me to do something he was afraid of and it was really a hot scene. Trust remained because I did not actually do the act.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 4:34:37 PM

SomethingCatchy

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Of course I fantasize about forcing him to do something that may be a hard limit, but I'll work myself into a panic attack if I start thinking of violating trust. I still get little heart flutters whenever I worry about him too much.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 4:52:54 PM

Lynnxz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Yes, tickling Mod11's feet just to see if she can go up to 13.

*Cough*

*Snort*

I choked on my orange.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 5:14:05 PM

ShaktiSama

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There are lots of bad ideas that randomly occur to me. Some of them are downright impossible, or even downright silly. I place no weight on random notions.

Violating someone's trust or hard limits, is not something I fantasize about. The thought gives me no pleasure whatsoever; in fact it makes me cringe and feel more than a little sick to even try to imagine it. I am neither evil nor stupid, and destroying the love and trust that I have earned from others is not a pleasant daydream; it's a nightmare.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 7:21:56 PM

LadyLupineNYC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingMistress45

Fantasies are just that - as long as you know what not to act on you are ok. Have ever had a fantasy about doing something that would violate a hard limit? Yes. Have I ever violated a hard limit? No. Fantasies about violating trust - no. Frankly I have shared my fantasies at time with the sub in question because it makes a good mind fuck.

In one of my more sadistic moments I actually made him beg me to do something that would have violated a hard limit and had I done it would have violated trust. But I got off on his struggle to beg me to do something he was afraid of and it was really a hot scene. Trust remained because I did not actually do the act.

This is closest to how I feel about my boy (that and the line from Fight Club about destroying something 'beautiful'). I am well aware of the level my boy is willing to go for me, all too well aware and the fact that his limits are destructively near bottomless, far beyond what is good for his own psychological and physically well being tempt me to walk down that path with him. His own depths have drawn me into new depths of my own framed by his level of love and devotion. He senses this and I suspect that is somewhat saddened that I don't challenge his limits more since it also means that I am therefore 'depriving' myself. However, BDSM to me is much more about the control of myself than him and so my challenge becomes dominating my own fantasies over challenging his limits.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 8:33:05 PM

LadyPact

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The smart ass answer. Yes, but then again I drive on the roads with the rest of the people in GA.

The truthful answer, again, yes. By some standards, the sadistic thoughts that I have in My head are often seen as "wrong" and would make a lot of people faint. (No fears, Lady H. I'm still out here.)

The realistic answer. I am a sadist, and I own that entirely. However, I am still a compassionate, ethical, and moral human being. I would completely get off on tearing up My boys back with a twelve foot whip, but I know the first crack of one would take him to a terrible place, and not because of the pain. I would rather respect that limit and never ask to realize that fantasy.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 8:43:03 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Thank you, LP!

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/23/2009 9:16:34 PM

LadyPact

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No problem, LH, and you're welcome.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 3:30:00 AM

LAgirlsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

The question here is: which crew? mmmmmmm....Picard....

Would it disappoint you that he's only maybe 5'7"? I saw him once on the set and Patrick Stewart's a small, albeit muscular guy.

I was curious so I was going through this thread and I'm glad the answer is 'no' - that breaking that trust matters more then any fantasy fulfillment. I'm glad all of you feel this way.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 4:54:33 AM

LadyLupineNYC

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I find it interesting that this 'trust' issue is so important. On the surface, I would totally agree but (and maybe this is just due to the particular nature of the relationship with my boy sfdrew) it is exactly that violation which we often consider flirting with. Note I wrote 'we'. For sfdrew, a violation of trust would be considered 'hot' since it means that I truly followed my own desires even if they are contrary to his own. It's a very VERY tight balance and open communication with this type of relationship can be even more important than other types. As a matter of kink, the question to 'violate trust' or not becomes an interesting form of foreplay, with him never quite knowing what I will do (very exciting for him) and me always open to a larger world of posibilities making the nonviolation of trust almost something of a kind and loving gift.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 6:49:26 AM

votiveguitar

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Trust is the key to any relationship. i served a Mistress for nearly three years, but when i lost trust in Her, i could no longer serve in any way. Now it is difficult for me to trust again. Although Antie Francine has been very helpful.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 7:23:52 AM

cjan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I had no idea y'all were so fluffyhappy! NEVER had a bad thought ever. Dang.

EvilHib

Exactamundo.

There is a great deal of difference between thoughts/fantasies and action. Imo, to say or think that one has not ever had thoughts/fantasies that one chooses to not act out, is to be unaware of one's thoughts.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 8:56:14 AM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: votiveguitar

Trust is the key to any relationship. i served a Mistress for nearly three years, but when i lost trust in Her, i could no longer serve in any way. Now it is difficult for me to trust again. Although Antie Francine has been very helpful.

{Hugs sweet D}

~~~

Before everyone decides that I am working the dark side, let me elaborate.

I am an edge player in a lot of ways. I am always wondering just how far I can push the envelope, even with people that I play very tamely with. With those that I know and love, the theorizing gets more intense. It's more important for me that I *have* power, rather than actually use it, so when I am working in a scene and really connecting, I am watching and thinking "what if?". Can moving those limits a twitch at a time foster closeness? Will breaking trust actually deepen it? When I clean up the broken bits and glue them back together, that is...

I think back to the many times Hugh was angry because I had stopped a scene, or wound it down before HE was ready to stop playing. Ms Responsible Dom always takes care of her toys, right? She would never take advantage of someone's endorphin rush to do something extreme, right? Well, so far, right. I still wonder about what might have happened if I had gone a step or ten further.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 11:10:43 AM

allthatjaz

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoMystry

No, never had such thoughts. The mutual trust and respect goes with the territory. Why would you even fantasize about doing something beyond their limits to someone you care about?

Because the key word there, to me, is FANTASY. That means that it is not real. You might want to invest in a dictionary.

In a fantasy anything than happen. The laws of nature need not apply. There are no consequences. It does not even have to be practical or possible. Nobody actually gets hurt. Things do not get messy. It is all in the fantasizer's mind.

An example. . .

You are having dinner in a Chinese restaurant with your s-type. It passes through your mind that it could be fun to take two sets of chopsticks and attach them to your s-types nipples while at the table.

That is a fantasy.

Do you even have rubber bands with you? Would it really be a good idea to have your s-type remove their shirt in a restauant? Would you likely end up with some sort of legal problem?

Those are realities.

So, you have just had a fantasy about doing something to some one you care about that would violate their trust and their hard limits. (Legal trouble is typically a hard limit.)

Has the world come to an end? Have you endangered your relationship? Has anyone been harmed? NO.

For goodness sake, when I was a freshman in high school I had fantasies about a romantic relationship with on of the crew members of the Starship Enterprise. If you are unaware, it does not even exist.

What does that say about me? Well, for one I am a geek. Other than that, it was a nice bit of escapism. Likely says something about my feelings of being an outsider in school. Big whoopty-doo!

To sum up, I am not sure why you felt that my answer was so horrible. I also think that it was a much more honest answer than claiming never to have had any fantasies.

Now. . .

If you were upset over the idea that I might do something to make my s-type psychologically uncomfortable. . .

Well, tough. It happens. More than once I have mentioned something that I have been thinking about or might like to try. I then watch him mentally and psycholgically squirm over the entire idea. Everytime, he has later came to me to say that he has changed his mind and would like to try it as well. Typically he gets more enthusiastic about it than I am.

Again, I do not see the horror. I have watched scenes in movies, read passages in both fiction and non-fiction, heard jokes, and seen museums that have made me psychologically uncomfortable.

I am completely missing the reason behind what I see from you as a visceral reaction.

Exactly!! and what better way to head fuck him than telling him the night before that you have this fantasy that is way beyond his limits and then getting him all tied up the next evening and letting him think your going to do just that!
And to the ops question.. yes and often!

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 11:21:37 AM

allthatjaz

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Now I'm going to answer on my submissive side with Stephen
Would I want him to overstep the mark? hell yes and he did so the other night after me going on and on about a kidnap scene weeks earlier.
I believed it was going to be this concentrated BDSM with lots of attention and held as an erotic play prisoner but instead it was so hard, so intense and so fecking frightening that I couldn't think, couldn't comprehend what the hell was happening to me. He frightened me, really frightened me and it was to a point that I peed my knickers in fear!!
Did I enjoy it at the time? no I hated it
has it taught me a lesson? yes.. don't fuck around with a sadists head!
has it left me damaged? nah just longing for more of the same.

But then he knew how I would react and in which order. He and I don't do things by halves. We really do know just how far we can push but believe me its always beyond what we think its going to be.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 1:49:20 PM

AAkasha

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I can have some cruel, inappropriate and totally unrealistic fantasies about men I adore. The great thing about fantasies is that they are safe; many things I think about, I would never do. Some of them are so cruel, I don't even tell anyone about them. However, even in my head, they are always clearly make believe; it's almost as if they are a well-scripted, slick movie or music video. When I think of extremes in my head, I almost always adopt an almost surreal, sci-fi feel to them, it's as if it's easier for me to acknowledge it's *make believe*.

In my fantasies, the way my "slave's" face bruises, for example, is almost always *pretty*. A slightly puffy and bruised upper lip from a ruthlessly applied gag isn't ugly and nasty looking, it looks manufactured and sexy. When I fantasize about mock executions, even, they ALWAYS get free, or are rescued, or saved - like a scripted super hero tv show. When I imagine interrogations, they are not ugly and cruel, they are slick and stylish. It's hard to explain, but even my fantasies have 'camera angles' and pans and zoom-ins, making it feel very fake. Deep down, I essentially am fantasizing about my sub taking part in a *movie* about interrogation, not a real, live interrogation - if that makes sense. And in my "fantasy" he always has the right lines, and his fear comes across in the right way, and the body language is just the perfect kind -- in real life, in a real interrogation, I know it'd be nothing pretty or sexy.

So in a sense, yes. But at the same time, I know that I am just weaving fun tales in my head, and my desire is not to create these situations for real. At the core, part of me is a hardcore roleplayer. I absolutely ADORE real fear, real desperation and real pain - but in very controlled doses. When I feel like letting loose in all of those areas, I do it in my head. In real life, the risks outweight the reward and my own conscience would prevent me from enjoying it on any real level. And in fantasies it's always sexy.

Akasha

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 3/24/2009 2:40:12 PM

MissMorrigan

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Drew, there are a myriad of thoughts I have on a regular basis that would have any sane man running for the hills, even I wouldn't sit in a room with someone like me should reveal similar thoughts/urges - they are my fantasies and include an area of my thoughts my Reality is never a part of, and he's glad of this exclusion. Reality is still here, he accepts this, he's next to me happily playing his Xbox after making sure I have everything I need, but he knows not to venture into my fantasies and they remain just that, nothing more because I cannot allow them to. He stays because not only does he trust me implicitly, he stays because he knows I will maintain my self-control. I have always been open and honest from the very first communication with him, as I am with anyone else, too. I was so very fortunate in that he decided to take the time to get to know me, as I have with him. If I were to even contemplate abusing his trust in me I would lose the most precious and fundemental thing in our relationship. We have taken a long time to get where we are with one another and to think of chinking my core ethics to his detriment, sincerely fills me with nausea.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 11/3/2009 12:47:23 PM

theobserver

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I only have a long distance, submissive, which to some of you is like not having one at all, but having said that, yes, I have times where I want to go the limit. I am such an egoist that at times it's all about me. But that's the beauty of it, you have to reel that in, because in any kind of relationship it's not all about you.

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RE: Do You ever have thoughts You shouldn't? - 11/3/2009 6:27:35 PM

Lashra

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No that is something that I have no interest in. It takes a long time to build up trust and only a moment to knock it down.

~Lashra

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