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ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: The Message Boards (3/25/2009 11:01:10 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I suppose the bottom line, for me, is that if I post something that gets a lot of irrational pushback, or that I think was totally misinterpreted, my first instinct is to lay the "blame" upon myself, that there was some weakness in my communication skill. The response probably indicates something I have to work on. I don't post just to hear myself talk. I'm trying to communicate to others, and to move people to see things in ways they might not otherwise have seen.
As a result, people don't tend to go apeshit on me. When people disagree with me (like Panda and dark just now), their positions tend to be serious and thought-out. I might not change my mind, but the conversation is high-quality, regardless.
I think the common factor there is that the three of us seem to be clearly making a genuine effort to understand the points that the others are making, instead of focusing on one or two key words and deciding that since we don't like those words, we don't like the post. Our primary motivation is to understand what the other person is trying to say, not criticize it. If people approach a discussion wth the goal of gaining a deeper understanding, that's usually where they're going to wind up.
quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I think, for the most part, people get back what they put out on a site like this. If you type a lazy, thoughtless post, and follow it up with defensive posturing, you're likely to produce a snarky thread. If you ask a heartfelt question, and treat others with respect, you're likely to get genuinely concerned replies. That's why I'm not a big fan of statements that "mean" posts are "undeserved."
I really agree with the first part of that, and pretty much agree with the thrust of the whole thing. I do, though, maintain that there certainly are cases where it's fair to say that certain responses are mean and undeserved. I've seen it happen fairly regularly. Let's say I started a thread asking for advice on how to lose weight. I say that I know I have to modify my diet and get more exercise, and I've already started an exercise program. Now I'm looking for advice on how to modify my diet. And someone posts, "Well, until you get off your ass and start getting some exercise, it doesn't matter what you eat, because you'll always be fat."
What's the point of that? I think that's a perfect example of a mean post, and completely undeserved. That's what I'm talking about, and while i wouldn't say it's terribly common, it's not uncommon either. The poster didn't deserve to have a shot taken at them like that. Yeah, I agree that if you're going to post on the net, you need to have a thick skin because you're going to get responses like that from time to time. I totally agree with that. But the fact that it's bound to happen sometimes doesn't mean it's deserved. Because shit like that just isn't called for, or productive in any way.
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