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subsisters? - 1/25/2006 7:07:24 PM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

hi everyone,

i'm new to almost all of the terminology that i'm seeing in this site, and one that's still making me wonder is "subsister". i've received a few messages asking if i'd like to have one, and it seems like it's just being sent out to girls with a profile that says submissive because even though they come under different usernames nobody replies when you ask something :S

Thanks

Post #: 1

RE: subsisters? - 1/25/2006 7:46:39 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Hi Missubmisse. I don't know about the other e-mailing you, and calling you Sub Sister, but I do chat and e-mail a few Female Subs on Collarme, and do call them Sub Sister, because it is like we've become Sisters, who are Subs. I like to chat with Female Subs, since there isn't many here, and I have more in common with them than most Male Subs....what with the clothing choices I make and such.....LOL

Well take care, and IF YOU Do want to write, and we do become friends, then I might call you Sister sub, but at least you will know the reason I am doing it.

Looking for more Sister Subs, BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 2

RE: subsisters? - 1/25/2006 8:27:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Usually its collared subs who want to find a third person to join the relationship.

I personally really dislike the term. I have a biological sister. Someone else having an orientation does not make them any more kin to me than another. I think it's an overused cutesy term like "subbie."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 3

RE: subsisters? - 1/25/2006 8:38:21 PM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think it's an overused cutesy term like "subbie."

LA - lol @ that part

Thank God i'm not the ONLY one who doesn't like the word subbie...sounds so...

you know? That and it makes me feel fat for some reason...maybe because it sounds like tubbie, not sure

In any case, i really dislike the word and i'm happy i haven't been called that by too many members

i agree too that it's strange to jump straight to being a 'sister' just because you both have one thing in common, id on't call all my acquantances my sisters, just the best female friend i have because we've been through thick and think and i'm as close with her as any siblings would be.

What you said about the collared subs looking for another to join sounds like what the ones sending messages were meaning by it now that i read it. They didn't come right out and say they're looking for someone to sub along with them, but it'd make more sense than them messaging me out of nowhere to ask if i wanted to pretend we're family members

lol

BB - Thanks for your reply, what you said makes sense, i can see how people would get really close here after spending a lot of time chatting and becoming good friends. lol @ relating to them more because of clothes and things, cute

You said there aren't many female subs on cm.com, that's surprising that Doms are the majority of members...i'm assuming they are, unless it's male subs that are the majority. i just assumed there'd be mainly female subs...not sure though why i figured that now

lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: subsisters? - 1/25/2006 9:44:09 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Yeah.. I think that it is a term used between two or more female subs in the same home.

I also dont like the term subbie.... It feels almost insulting, you know?

But then again... I used to think that the term slave was insulting also. But now I hold it with pride. I am sure that there are some out there that use the term subbie with pride... though I couldn't.

Blessings to all

1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 1:04:44 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Wow, I'm stoked to know it wasn't just me with the whole disliking "subbie" it does feel insulting, doesn't it?

But diplomatically true, there are probably things many of us enjoy that others would find intollerable, so as long as we can steer clear of being called by the name most unkind, we're good

Do you mind if I ask what "1st Girl" means? I'm thinking along the lines of you being owned by someone who also owns others, but you're either the first of all of them, or you're the one he cares for/values most? Or is it not really a term for anything specific and just something that's only meaningful to you personally?

It sounds sweet in any event, aww

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 6

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 3:20:11 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

ist girl is like the alpha submissive ( top) in the relationship, it is more in a poly type of dynamic.

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 7

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 3:59:15 AM

floorkitten

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline

I would tolerate chewing aluminum foil, before I would/will tolerate being addressed as "sister, sissy, sis, etc". What an assumption to make! for it is usually done without obtaining permission.

This slave - HATES it.

~kitten

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 8

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 5:58:46 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: misssubmisse
Do you mind if I ask what "1st Girl" means?

It usually means either the "first one on the relationship" or "slave with authority over others" or "just alpha in the heirarchy"

It really depends on the relationship.

quote:

I'm thinking along the lines of you being owned by someone who also owns others, but you're either the first of all of them, or you're the one he cares for/values most? Or is it not really a term for anything specific and just something that's only meaningful to you personally?

It sounds sweet in any event, aww

LOL it can be sweet and it can be hell. And it's not about caring for or values more, it's just a specific role within the relationship. I often view it as a "First mate."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 9

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 6:17:09 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Thanks everyone, you guys always have answers, it's like being privy to a group of geniuses...don't ever change

lol

lmao @ chewing aluminum foil vs sister. I literally gagged and felt shivers in my entire body when I thought of how that would feel. God help me if I'm ever told by the one I love that he has a total fetish for that

LA - Just for posterity, I have a question ... just kidding, relieved, aren'tcha? lol

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: subsisters? - 1/26/2006 7:22:06 AM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: misssubmisse

Do you mind if I ask what "1st Girl" means? I'm thinking along the lines of you being owned by someone who also owns others, but you're either the first of all of them, or you're the one he cares for/values most? Or is it not really a term for anything specific and just something that's only meaningful to you personally?

It sounds sweet in any event, aww

In my case... I am married to Dragon... I am first because I am his wife and I have Domme status with any others. I am only submissive to him. Also... we live with an other M/s couple but I am the Alpha female of the house.

Does that help you understand my status? Also... with me.... I take it as a term of enderment. So for me it is sweet, I love my Dragon.

1st Girl Phoenix

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 11

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 12:31:24 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Thanks a lot DNP that did help along with what everyone else had explained. I actually skimmed your profile after reading what you posted here and that also helped me wrap my brain around the bigger concept.

This stuff is far more intricately complex than I had thought, it's fascinating. Thanks for everyone here being so willing to explain these things, it really helps me tremendously to read the posts from actual couples/individuals living this lifestyle, as opposed to before when I was trying to Google sites with definitions and textbook style explanations for various terms.

It's still a lot to absorb, but there's something about reading the words of people who are living it that makes it translate in a more comprehensive way, thanks

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 12

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 12:59:26 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I personally really dislike the term. I have a biological sister. Someone else having an orientation does not make them any more kin to me than another. I think it's an overused cutesy term like "subbie."

Well said. I feel the same way. I already have two sisters and six brothers. I wouldn't call someone else sister just because they also happened to be a Grandmother, like myself, or because they might be in the same book club or anything else. One thing that hasn't been mentioned - Most of the female slaves with whom I'm personally acquainted and who embrace a Gorean philosophy 'do' call one another sister, and alternatively, call their male counterparts brother.

You can add me to the list of those who have a strong dislike for the term 'subbie'. Ugh.

Wench, now that's another story. It's a pirate thing. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 13

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 1:14:22 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

I personally really dislike the term. I have a biological sister. Someone else having an orientation does not make them any more kin to me than another. I think it's an overused cutesy term like "subbie."

Well said. I feel the same way. I already have two sisters and six brothers. I wouldn't call someone else sister just because they also happened to be a Grandmother, like myself, or because they might be in the same book club or anything else. One thing that hasn't been mentioned - Most of the female slaves with whom I'm personally acquainted and who embrace a Gorean philosophy 'do' call one another sister, and alternatively, call their male counterparts brother.

You can add me to the list of those who have a strong dislike for the term 'subbie'. Ugh.

Wench, now that's another story. It's a pirate thing. :)

Celeste

I'm not sure who the person in your picture is, but if that is you and you are a grandmother, can I get some tips on how to age that gracefully? I don't have money, but I will pay in plenty of gratitude...s'all I have available

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 14

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 9:10:02 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I guess i am in the minority here i don't mind being called sister even though i have 3 sisters and a brother. This ome slve i know started calling me sister and we became closer the me and my sisters she is the little sister i never had.

Subbie not that is totally different i HATE that term.

littleone

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 15

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 10:28:06 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

some folks ascribe to a spiritual concept that we are all brothers and sisters, even the animals are our kin, so it doesn't bother, insult or irritate this slave. this slave was grew up in a heavily Masonic family where unrelated individuals refer to each other as brother or sister frequently. a vanilla friend used to refer to this slave as "sisterfriend", it was a term of endearment for her that indicated a sister-like closeness in our friendship. so when approached by someone who identifies as slave or sub as a sister, this slave never thought to insist that since we aren't biological sisters, it is inappropriate and an insult to call this slave such, as she has had prior experience with the concept. Subbie? a contraction of "submissive" and no different to this slave.

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 16

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 7:33:07 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

You can call me subbie..sister..slut..slave whatever..just dont call me late for dinner!

be well....

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 17

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 7:51:55 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I guess i am in the minority here i don't mind being called sister even though i have 3 sisters and a brother. littleone

We are in that minority together, I guess.
I dont mind people calling me 'sister' or any variation on that term. The use of that word to refer to non-related females is not something unique to submissive women. Im an RN and the nurses in my ICU call one another "sister" or "sissy" all the time. It is a term that is meant to foster and convey a sense of comraderie. In some European countries, nurses refer to one another as "sister" as a matter of course.

It is most certainly not meant to belittle or demean the relationship between siblings...I think it's a bit much to go so far as to suppose it may be.

I call people outside of nursing "sister" or some variation on that theme at times and it is always meant in the spirit of comradarie and good will. It is a compliment.

I personally dont go round looking for reasons to dislike people. If I did, Im certain that calling me a term of endearment like "sister" would be pretty low on my list of peeves.

Hey, Ive been called way worse.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 18

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 8:01:31 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Wench, now that's another story. It's a pirate thing. :)

Celeste

We both agree on that one!!!

1st Girl Phoenix

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 19

RE: subsisters? - 1/27/2006 9:08:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather
It is most certainly not meant to belittle or demean the relationship between siblings...I think it's a bit much to go so far as to suppose it may be.

Actually I didn't suggest any reason as to how it made me feel other than "I have a biological sister and do not like others using it."

My sister is a pain in my ass. I love her to death and will do whatever I can if she is in need, but we can still only be around eachother for a max of about 8 hours and still be in good moods at the end. The best part of her are her two amazing sons.

Why on earth would I want to be reminded of that with someone else, especially some poor person who had nothing going on except also happened to be oriented as a bi poly slave top?

It's just a matter of social closeness. Some women don't mind being called "girl" or "little one" and some find it presumptuous and annoying.

Whenever you "name" someone, it's a risk. I prefer others not to presume such closeness with me and find that particular term always irritating.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 20

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