veronicaofML
Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline
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Women’s Mid-Life Crisis
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I can almost feel myself losing weight...
by forwarding this to you!
(You'll understand at the end.)
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-
life is a great time for women. Even Oprah had a whole show on
how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few
thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you.
Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing
your luck) you'll probably relate.
Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired
mustache.
In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans.
We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying
squirrels in drag.
Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and
you can see your rear without turning around.
Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that
this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.
Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a
tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell
and those will too."
Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and
we're sitting on our biggest ones.
Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone,
beeper-wearing teenager and think: "For this I have stretch
marks?"
In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we
can retain is water.
Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand
McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map
of Wisconsin.
Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start
pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here?
How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no
longer a healthy choice?
But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is
important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins
double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would
any of you trade the knowledge that you have now for the body
you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand
to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my
philosophy and I'm sticking to it!
Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds.
Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will
lose 10 pounds.
If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately.
(That's why I had to pass this on - No way am I risking deleting
this!)
_____________________________
drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
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"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"
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woman's midlife crisis? - 
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