What submission isn't (Full Version)

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DragonNphoenix -> What submission isn't (1/25/2006 8:45:18 PM)

I am sooooooo tired of people, usually either not in the lifestyle or in the mundane world, thinking that they know what Submission is. Submission DOES NOT mean Mousey and Weak. They dont understand how much strength is takes to be a slave. It took more backbone for me to submit then it did for me to do most anything else. I dont know about other Masters out there, but my husband (who is my Master) wants a strong slave. He would rather have to work harder at training me than to 'break my will'. We are searching for one to bring into our home and one of the things that draws us to a slave is that she has a head on her shoulders and that she can think.

Anyway.. Like I said, I would be interested in hearing what others feel about this.

1st Girl Phoenix


**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**



KittenWithaTwist -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:26:07 PM)

I'm not particularly sure what you're trying to accomplish with this post. Is it an ad? Is it a rant?

So, insteaad, I'll ask a question that I want an actual answer to.

Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.



michaelGA -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:27:39 PM)

maybe they need some excitement...anyone got any SlimJims? LOL



DragonNphoenix -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:31:14 PM)

it is a rant... sorry.... just had to get it off my chest....

I am sorry that I came across the way that I did... I did not mean to be confusing. I have been accussed of being a wishy washy and mousey because I am a slave. It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things. Sorry agian for not being clear. I just was hoping that others have had this happen to them also.

1st Girl Phoenix



mistoferin -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:36:25 PM)

Okay...I'm confused...it says on your profile that you are a Mistress....or am I reading something wrong?



DragonNphoenix -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:48:34 PM)

I am a slave only to Dragon... I am a Domme to all others. He was the only one that I could submit too. And this took 10 years to happen, it did not just happen nor did our relationship start out this way.

BTW I like your fairie.

Phoenix



Arpig -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:52:58 PM)

For what its worth, i also think it takes great strength to submit, i know at times it has to be very hard to even pretend i am not being an ass, let alone go along with it.



seaturtle50 -> RE: What submission isn't (1/25/2006 9:54:00 PM)

<no hijack intended>

michaelGA - new avatar pic? Nice improvement!

<please continue>



Mercnbeth -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 4:38:35 AM)

quote:

I would be interested in hearing what others feel about this.


it is this slave's opinion that submission isn't:

...inherently "easy" or "hard"

...all or nothing

...the only way to have a fulfilling relationship

...universally defined in the context of a BDSM relationship

...less than or greater than dominance

...an indicator of weakness, insecurity or mental defect

quote:

I have been accussed of being a wishy washy and mousey because I am a slave. It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things.


slave-bashing happens. it even happens with folks that claim to "understand" the lifestyle...if you peruse some of the prior "what is the difference between submissive and slave" posts that will give you a glimpse into people's varied and sometimes mean-spirited comments regarding the concepts. don't let the ignorant folk get you down![:)]



servingwench80 -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 5:12:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix

It just hurts me when people, who dont understand the lifestyle, say those things.

1st Girl Phoenix


This is the point, right here. They don't understand the lifestyle. Now if someone who knows you well AND knows the lifestyle well tells you that you're weak, then I might consider being insulted *L* But this is just ignorance. Personally, if someone doesn't understand the lifestyle, I probably wouldn't tell them about it anyway; they're just not going to get it. But that's just me, and I tend to be more close-mouthed about some things than other people.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 5:37:44 AM)

Submission simply means acting under anothers authority within a defined relationship.

People can be weak in relationships.

If there weren't a lot of weak subs out there, there wouldn't be so much backlash about people screaming how they aren't weak. A lot of subs are weak, insecure, clueless people.

So are a lot of dominants.

Being dom or sub has nothing to do with being weak, and it has nothing to do with being strong. It's just an orientation.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 5:39:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist
Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.

I don't consider it insulting.

Every subculture has a jargon/slang term to define those NOT in their subculture. Most often with us it's vanilla. But mundane works just as well.

Granted there is a lot of nilla bashing that goes on in the kink subculture, and this might be a symptom of that, but I don't find applying the term to be insulting in itself.



phoenixslave -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 5:46:58 AM)

As usual, Lucky Albatross says it all. That said, i'll run my typing finger anyways... i couldn't care less what people not in the life style think of me. it does get to me when those in it try to define me by their take on it. i know a Master who thinks all slaves SHOULD be weak and clueless. In his book i am always wrong and perhaps no slave at all. He should know better. i could judge him or his slave as well but its none of my business to do so.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 5:50:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: phoenixslave

As usual, Lucky Albatross says it all. That said, i'll run my typing finger anyways... i couldn't care less what people not in the life style think of me. it does get to me when those in it try to define me by their take on it. i know a Master who thinks all slaves SHOULD be weak and clueless. In his book i am always wrong and perhaps no slave at all. He should know better. i could judge him or his slave as well but its none of my business to do so.

You shouldn't let it get to you. And IMO you should care (not be controlled by, but care) what people not in the lifestyle think of you. Social perceptions is a good way to grow and understand who we are.

Making good judgements is a necessary skill of being a mature adult. As long as you don't expect anyone to share your judgements, then you're ok. You do seem to get defensive yourself when someone says something you don't like.



DragonNphoenix -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 7:11:52 AM)


quote:


slave-bashing happens. it even happens with folks that claim to "understand" the lifestyle...if you peruse some of the prior "what is the difference between submissive and slave" posts that will give you a glimpse into people's varied and sometimes mean-spirited comments regarding the concepts. don't let the ignorant folk get you down![:)]



Thank you... for your opinion and your above 'cheer me up' comment.


Phoenix



candystripper -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 7:33:32 AM)

Holy cow; i'd never tell anyone but my girlfriends about D/s. And while i agree with you, that submission is an act of strength, we have members who wanna be rescued from their goofed-up lives, some with kids, and so it's not really a universal truth. Just a universal "ought to be".

candystripper



veronicaofML -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 8:51:04 AM)

anyone got any SlimJims?
======

nawwwww

i can't have em so i do peanut m + m's.....
ROFLMAO



MHOO314 -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 8:59:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Holy cow; i'd never tell anyone but my girlfriends about D/s. And while i agree with you, that submission is an act of strength, we have members who wanna be rescued from their goofed-up lives, some with kids, and so it's not really a universal truth. Just a universal "ought to be".

candystripper



Hi candy! Welcome back darlin---

I am very much going to agree with what she has said--that does not mean I disagree with the others---I hate to use this phrase, but that to Me is the difference between true submissives versus game players--I know one for a fact that portrays herself as a slave--does not want to make her own decisions, manage her money etc---yet she cannot do that in her real life--it is a means to be rescued from a fkd up life--

I am a firm beleiver in two things:

You cannot manage another's life if yours is in ruin
You cannot truly submit if you don't understand what you are giving up--


Now given that:

quote:

Submission DOES NOT mean Mousey and Weak.



To some it DOES--to you it doesn't, to Me it doesn't but to some Dom/mes and submissive/slaves, it does mean Mousey and Weak--because that's what they are or seek.

IMHO, the terms are a means of labeling--like Italian, Wiccan, Gothic--it is an identifier only--but the practice, the use, the implementation of those labels are all subjective--it's all a matter of preference.



MysticalPhoenix -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 9:42:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

Why do you call non kinky or non BDSM people "mundane"? It's so...insulting.


It's not really any more an insult than vanilla.

It's the acceptable term used by people in the SCA to indicate non-SCA folk, or non-SCA clothing, etc., just as vanilla is the acceptable term in the BDSM scene for non-BDSM folk, etc.

And it's just a word, after all.

Phoenix



HISTOABUSE -> RE: What submission isn't (1/26/2006 9:52:31 AM)

i am very new to the lifestyle adn up until about 4 months ago had never even heard the term vanilla used for anything other than a flavor!! i am submissive...i am in NO WAY weak, nor does my Master treat me as such. the people i know would probably wet their pants if they knew the things i like..so i keep it to myself. there are those in our community that truly appreciate a good slave.....and know how to treat one....for those that do not...we simply ignore them....please dont let what other people think change whoa nd what you are....after all, you were this way before you met, and you'll be this way when they're gone!!!!



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