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Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 12:58:39 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Well, I started to go to a BDSM chatroom sometime last year, and frequented it for a couple months I think, and in that time I was told it was neccessary for anything about myself to be in lowercase while anything directed to a Dominate must use uppercase; to show my place and respect for their's.

I don't see it really "enforced" here though, so I'm just wondering now if it was specific to that chat community maybe, or if it's just that you guys are cooler and not so goddam suffocating with rules and rhetoric.

In any event, my typing in general was beginning to suffer because I got into the habit in these past few days of no longer using proper casing and had to keep proofing my writing everhwere else but here because it made me look like an A-Class moron lol

I should mention that I was complimented quite a few times by Doms who I was chatting with that said they appreciated the effort, now I'm clonflicted

lol

Maybe it's just a newbie issue

Post #: 1

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 2:38:33 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Despite decades in the lifestyle and years online, I've never bothered with chatrooms as they seem attuned more for those getting their jollies off than any real substance or sincerity.

Forums are for topic discussion rather than individual conversation etc and you're generally not expected to be anything but yourself - despite the small percentage who can't even respect that.... So you can use caps or not; your choice, not the house rules.

Frankly, if you're getting tangled or flustered with silly keyboard protocol, maybe you've outgrown it and it's time to move on anyway.... Online usually means from the comfort of your own home and it should be more about personal enjoyment than a chore.

Mind you, chatting online with your own Dom, esp if there's distance involved, is a way of utilising keyboard protocol to keep the relationship dynamic percolating until real life next comes around.... But you don't answer to strangers so it ultimately does become unfulfilling once the novelty wears off.

Focus.

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 2

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 3:07:30 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

i liked chatting here; i had a favorite user-room called "D/s Safehaven"" with lovely people and lots of fun.

i must be a conformist bc i generally do use the different cases for people, but i have noticed it's not expected.

i generally use upper-case in email, provided i can figure out their first names. i do not use "Master" or "Dom" but have slipped in an occassional "Sir" where i would use it anyway.

i think so long as people can understand you & you don't set out to offend, you should do what's comfortable.

candystripper

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 3

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 4:50:00 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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In the final analysis, the only dom whose opinion on this issue (or any other for that matter) that matters is your dom's.
And if you don't presently have a dom, then guess who that is....you.
Keyboard protocols are silly but harmless, plain and simple.
It also strikes me as a bit arrogant to expect you (or anybody else) to automatically respect me simply because I like to dominate women. And my position...well I suspect it is pretty much the same as yours....with my ass parked in a comfy chair (though I doubt you have to deal with the kitten attacking your head from the back of the chair the way I do.

_____________________________

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(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 4

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 4:56:58 AM

TypeWriter

Posts: 57
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline

Also if you know anything about type it is silly.

The term "upper case" comes from the larger or capital letters being on the case above the "lower case" in the printers workshop when they would put each letter on the page to press it.

The signifigance of the Capital to denote a proper noun is challenged daily (bell hooks) and the period does as much of a job showing the start and stop of a sentance. In the end it is just construct and so should not be taken too seriously if messed up.

Type

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 5

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 6:02:48 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It's an online invented thing. I know slaves who were taught to use that, adore the protocol, and then were trained to use proper English because their master insisted on it.

I prefer basic proper English. Also for me, being a dom or sub is a personal relationship orientation. It has nothing to do with how I interact with anyone other than the people I am in a relationship with. When someone tries to make being a dom or sub into a social orientation, I get cranky.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 6

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 6:27:58 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Focus - Plenty agreed about the chatrooms, they were...icky. Not that I have a problem with anyone's choice to have sex with themselves using words on a screen for stimulus, but it's just not for me lol Also agree if it's frustrating, don't do it; for me just changing back to standard typing is enough to void the frustration, so no need to leave the site. Hopefully that won't ring as a disappointment for people

candy - I do the same when I feel the urge, and use Sir as a general sign of respect (in real life too, I should watch I don't reveal myself inadvertantly mayhaps lol), but I just meant that I didn't see the point in --always-- doing it, I do agree there are times where it's a nice touch though

Arpig - Thanks for the laugh with the closing comment

I really feel the same about the automatic respect expectancy being, for lack of more eloquent terms, ridiculous lol I show everyone a "baseline" respect, but it's nowhere ner what can be earned through forming an actual friendship with a person. Some just seem to expect it to come without merit :S

Type - That was pretty interesting, thanks for the funfacts about the origins

LA - I'm loving the ironic twist of a Dom untraining the way of typing back to proper ways

And I like the way you put it, I was getting a little of the crankiness myself there. Until I switched back to proper and got my panties unwadded

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 9:38:51 AM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

PERSONALLY I find the whole Cap non-cap thing a little silly and distracting.

That being said, I default to whomever owns the house.

When you are in your Dom's house, you follow their rules.

When you are in a chat room, you follow the host's rules. Don't like the rules? you don't have to stay there. I know I wouldn't stay there if anyone (besides my OWN Dominant, if I had one) insisted that I do the Caps thing.

fergus

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 8

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 9:48:15 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

It is you will find, personal preference--I prefer the upper and lower case personally---

but you will find here many who don't---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 9

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 10:30:49 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I should mention that I was complimented quite a few times by Doms who I was chatting with that said they appreciated the effort, now I'm clonflicted lol

Online doms. However, the real question would be to ask yourself and them how many have actually experienced the lifestyle first hand? Not pure chatroom BDSM. Not pure cyber. It doesn't matter how long they have felt a certain way inside, but someone who has actually been off the computer with other's who are in the lifestyle.

Most I know in real life...I can't say I've ever met anyone who asks a dominant or a submissive to throw away any intellect they may have to make them feel just a wee bit superior.
Most appreciate you for being you and not having to change you.

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 10

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 2:30:56 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I say who cares what other people think. If they find it childish and asinine that you use caps, tell them thanks anyways for the opinion and promptly ignore them.

If they demand that you use capitals, tell them thank you very much, it was nice talking to you and then put them on ignore. It is so childish to start an argument or sit there piously denouncing them because you do not agree with the way they do things. It truly makes you as much of a dork as they are.

Use what you feel comfortable with and to hell with everyone else and their meaningless opinions. When they actually have a say in your life, ie. your Dom/me, then their opinion will be worth more than jack squat... Otherwise..

It is absolutely pathetic to hear the childish bitching, whining and moaning about the caps. If they do not like caps, too damn bad. If they demand you use them against your will, a nod and a block does wonders.

The reason I say all this is this.... It is bad enough people have to go into a chatroom or forum or mating board, wear their heart on their sleeves, tell everybody what they did with their privates, brag about their (many) partner(s) or that they smell and the food they ate last night had roughly the same texture as sawdust. It is even worse when they have such a pathetic life that they have nothing more important to worry about than whether the person next to them is using caps or not. Sorry, but they need to get a life before they can talk to someone else about theirs.

Why can we not all live and let live?

/end mega rant.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 1/26/2006 2:43:51 PM >

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(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 11

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 3:23:02 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

I posted a reply to a thread just like this one before & I will post it again...

Capitals? I don't need no stinking capitals!!

I would think someone to be rather weak if they think that referring to him/her as Him/Her grants them some type of supreme power.

Chat rooms are petty & full of cliques. They are often a complete bore with the predominant message rolling by is something like **19 y/o female with pics IM me** or **Single male with webcam, ladies type 555 for private chat** personally I have not found many chat rooms that offer much. I will pop into one from time to time but I rarely stay for very long. Most times it is due to the onslaught of unwanted IM's that frustrate me to the point of closing the room.

If you seek out a written exchange with others that is more along the lines of intelligent communication, stick to forums or possibly some well moderated groups.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 12

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 5:39:23 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I type as grammatically correct as I can. I spent more than enough on a college education. I have to show it somehow, don't I?
If the dom is that hung up on that type of protocal then he's probably not a good match for me anyway.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 1/26/2006 5:40:48 PM >

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 13

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 6:00:32 PM

MysticalPhoenix

Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

It is you will find, personal preference--I prefer the upper and lower case personally---

but you will find here many who don't---

My boy and I use the upper/lower case protocol in communication with each other-he was trained to it, previously, and I find the formality of it pleasing. It's not one of my requirements, though. Which is good, because if I'm typing along really fast on my laptop, I don't always remember to capitalize when referring to myself or to female dominants (dang it, I mean Female Dominants).

But, it's as others have said, obey the house rules and obey your dominant (oops, Dominant) partner.

And if your capitalization, or lack thereof, offends someone who is neither your Dominant partner nor the authorized enforcer of house rules, they are probably just being anal.

Phoenix

_____________________________

---------------------------------------------------------
Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 14

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 6:35:59 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Well, I started to go to a BDSM chatroom sometime last year, and frequented it for a couple months I think, and in that time I was told it was neccessary for anything about myself to be in lowercase while anything directed to a Dominate must use uppercase; to show my place and respect for their's.

There are few things which are 'necessary' in this virtual reality. Showing deference to a stranger with a self-proclaimed title in their screenname isn't one of them. And it harm none, do what you will.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 15

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 8:33:27 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

Eh I used to do the I for him i for me and thank god I got out of that habbit, now I personaly think it's silly. Also how one types online when you're on all day everyday like me starts to affect your real life writing skills, I found myself wanting to type lol and : P in school papper essays lol.

Now I don't have a leg to stand on or a pot to piss in when it comes to grammar since I suck I do try the best I can with what I do know, in most cases., now having said that lil caviet lol.

but I don't get into the whole cap a term thing because it's not proper english to randomly cap something in the middle of a sentance, because it shows deferance, or is some kind of "protocal" to refere to everything to do with that subject in caps. And do you remember how we were supposed to indent 4 spaces before startng a new sentance, and now onlin it just doesn't work to well lol

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 1/26/2006 8:45:25 PM >

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 16

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 10:36:09 PM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

I've got into the habit of capitalising Master and doing the Him/His thing, but I still refer to myself as I except when I'm chatting on IM and then it's quicker to just hit the i

I've never been in a BDSM chatroom and the few other chatrooms I've gone into I just get confused with so many people in there, I give up in disgust. Much prefer to post on forums and chat one on one

(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 17

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/26/2006 11:11:37 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I don't see it really "enforced" here though, so I'm just wondering now if it was specific to that chat community maybe, or if it's just that you guys are cooler and not so goddam suffocating with rules and rhetoric

What grabs my attention is someone that can write with some proficiency. The whole dynamic of cap/CAP thing is just not my thing. Some people need to flex their Domly muscles and show everyone in the world that they are a dominant. If they have to do that, chances are that they aren't really all that dominant. I feel uncomfortable when someone I am chatting with in IM or email calls me Sir. I understand it is a sign of respect, but I am not owed any just because I am a dominant. If I were their master it would be different. If that is their thing I let them go with it but I tell them it isn't a requirement from me.

There are more important things in life than the usage of s/D to signify who or what you are.

_____________________________

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(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 18

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/27/2006 12:52:45 AM

misssubmisse

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for all the replies everyone, they're all appreciated. I usually try and reply something to everyone individually, but there are A LOT of people who posted, and it would just be redundant to reply to everyone separately, so a big Thank Y/you to A/all lol

I'm a believer now in the idea that somone who is strictly enforcing the caps rule will be not be someone I'd likely want to keep in touch with, with a few more experiences chatting now and seeing how someone can go from being extremely kind and friendly to...kind of creepy, to be honest

Meanwhile those who have told me that I don't need to be so formal have turned out to be consistently as they seemed from the first impression, which is a relief

Also, I have been told many times that they do agree, if it were an arrangement where we were pursuing something on a different level, then they would be inclined to have more expectations of our conversations and the caps rule would most likely come into play; which I can see the sense in as well.

To the person who mentioned the OL vs. RL relationship, that does make sense, I've never had any contact with a Dom that I was involved with online, so when I would use terms of respect and affection it was all verbal and I didn't need to learn how to write to him. I'd still email and IM him at points, but neither of us had any OL experience so maybe that's why he never asked me to type that way lol But it's good to know in any event

Thanks everyone

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 19

RE: Uppercase = Respect...Why So? :S - 1/27/2006 10:02:52 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

Personally I dislike the whole thing, but for the most part I can ignore it. If someone wants to cap pronouns, eh, it doesnt' get in the way of my reading comprehension or do anything to me.

What -does- drive me up the wall is the slashed stuff. Y/you Y/your R/relationships S/someone. That just gets excessive to me and makes it hard for me to read the sentence.

I feel the same way about capping I do about typos. I don't care as long as it doesn't get inthe way of easy reading.

_____________________________

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(in reply to misssubmisse)

Post #: 20

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