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changed - 1/26/2006 9:36:01 AM

windy135

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So here is a very off topic question. I've recently moved to a larger city to attend college. I've lived here for about a year and ahalf now. My very good best closest friend told me today that I have changed since I left. He is a gay man living in our hometown which is very small. The only time someone say's I think you have changed and gives no explantation to how you have changed, probably means they think the change is bad. I might have changed a little but I'm kinda of hurt. Has anyone else gone through this?

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RE: changed - 1/26/2006 9:51:47 AM

MHOO314

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The only constant is change,

people evolve as their lives evolve---and our friends and family feel threatened at times by that--My mother used to ask Me where her daughter went that she "once" knew like it was a bad thing---then she would turn around and tell people how proud she was of my accomplishments and who I was--go figure. It happens to us all---and people mistake broadening one's horizon's for change as well--never stop growing.

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RE: changed - 1/26/2006 10:07:43 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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One would hope you had changed.

Why not give an explanation? HOw? What specifics?

I know I had a best friend in college who I always just followed what she wanted. She chose the movie, the time, the place and I was just happy to tag along.

After I lived on my own for 6 months in Ireland I came back. No longer did I just wait for her to make plans. I suddenly had my OWN places I wanted to go, my OWN plans, and invited her along with them.

After a few weeks she asked where her sweet friend had gone. It hurt but I realized she just wanted someone who would tag along and didn't like that I suddenly was taking some control. I certainly wasn't going to change back.

We drifted apart but stayed friendly. I think eventually she accepted things in her way. Sometimes friends mean well and sometimes we should really take what they say into account. But you can't hold yourself back.

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RE: changed - 1/26/2006 10:17:54 AM

windy135

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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. You are both right it's only normal that I have changed. Thanks again :)

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RE: changed - 1/26/2006 10:46:15 AM

MHOO314

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. You are both right it's only normal that I have changed. Thanks again :)

however if you have changed into a sociopathic psychopath with abusive tendencies and a girlie girl attitude then we would wonder--

wait, that sounds like Me! LOL, hugs

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RE: changed - 1/26/2006 10:16:17 PM

Misstoyou

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quote:

ORIGINAL: windy135

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. You are both right it's only normal that I have changed. Thanks again :)

It's not only normal, change is life. As I tell my students, if they don't grow and change, they're a rock.

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RE: changed - 1/28/2006 7:50:17 AM

FangsNfeet

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So you changed some and he hasn't?

Isn't it great that you've changed some since you've had a taste of being out in the world? You're growing up, doesn't it feel great? That's all you have to repeat back "Yup, I'm growing up and I feel good."

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RE: changed - 1/28/2006 8:49:51 AM

veronicaofML

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Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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ch ch ch changes
==========
the issue i guess or is it a question...

i know of several people that have never left their own backyard and say i have changed since i have been overseas and been to california and nevada and down-south--------

without intending to--------you are going to change..inside. it cant be helped.
these people that wont leave their backyard see this change in us and dont know how to react to it.

in some ways, i am still the same old grouchy s.o.b. i have always been,,,,,,,
but i HAVE seen things done things been places...heard things,.,., they will never fathom...

all you and i can do...about these backyard people...is give em some slack...and chalk it up to life.
you and i have expanded our minds

so they recognize it
just like your pets smell new smells on you if you went to a pet store and petted some other animal..
the backyard people smell it on us.

good luck to you

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