Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain

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homedespot -> Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/27/2009 7:09:59 AM)
I'm interested in hearing about others experiences with cathartic bdsm "scenes". I'm curious about whether they were planned scenes discussed between the people involved or if they were unplanned and just "happened". I'm curious about whether is was pain that brought it about or if there was something completely other then pain or if it was pain plus a trigger of some sort. I'm curious about the aftercare that you got and the aftercare that you felt was appropriate. I'm curious, if pain was involved, if there was more pain then usual, or a different type then you usually used or if it was what a pretty 'normal' scene for you that turned into something else and why. I'm curious if it was a good experience for you in the end or if, looking back, you regret doing it. Obviously different people will have different experiences. J.

MissEnchanted -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/27/2009 8:06:11 AM)
homedespot, This is a great topic and I will be back later to answer your question in more detail. Short answer: I have found many kinds of pains scenes to be cathartic for both me and the sub I am playing with. After care is very important imo and will be different depending on the subs and the chemistry we share. After getting to know someone or knowing about them from other Dom/mes I get a feel for what will be best for both of us. I am careful as some have issues that are deeper and need other kinds of attention. I discuss before hand and there is already a deep trust between us before I engage. With some this happens quickly because they are already in my group or well-known by people I trust, It is a beautiful thing... catharsis through different kinds of pain. ME

homedespot -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/27/2009 9:00:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted homedespot, This is a great topic and I will be back later to answer your question in more detail. Short answer: I have found many kinds of pains scenes to be cathartic for both me and the sub I am playing with. After care is very important imo and will be different depending on the subs and the chemistry we share. After getting to know someone or knowing about them from other Dom/mes I get a feel for what will be best for both of us. I am careful as some have issues that are deeper and need other kinds of attention. I discuss before hand and there is already a deep trust between us before I engage. With some this happens quickly because they are already in my group or well-known by people I trust, It is a beautiful thing... catharsis through different kinds of pain. ME Thanks for your reply. I look forward to your further insight. J.

allthatjaz -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/27/2009 12:02:57 PM)
Hi homedespot... Great topic by the way I think once you get to the level of being able to bring out cathartic side BDSM, understand it, embrace it and work with it, then you truly have reached that ultimate goal. To be trusted to that level is invigorating and incredibly bonding. The tears of a man that can let go to that extent are something very beautiful. I have written a lot in my journal about cathartic moments because they always leave me so deeply touched. I have never planned this as a scene, its always been totally spontaneous. A recent one that comes to mind was when S was tied up to my torture wall. I had flogged him hard (he can take a huge amount over his back). Usually I'm fairly verbal but in this instance there was silence apart from the heavy thud of the flogger on his flesh. Suddenly he started to talk gibberish and laugh loudly, then he started to talk about Samson and Delilah and how if I cut off his hair I would take away his strength. At this point he started to sob uncontrollably. I took him down and cradled him in my arms. I kissed away his tears, my tears and I told him how much I loved him and that he was safe now. It was a beautiful moment and one that I will cherish forever. We talked about it afterwards and he told me about his fears of losing me, of not living up to my expectations and the fear of tomorrow not being as perfect as today. Experiences such as this bring us ever closer.

AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/28/2009 6:00:39 PM)
We've found lots of guys find themselves and let go of things they've kept bottled up when we put them through a bdsm session of pain or punishment. It's a release in more ways than one.[;)] We like helping guys find their submissive side.

subinchico -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/31/2009 12:48:55 PM)
Great, topic/responses(allthatjazz) very touching/feeling. As sub, they are rare, to "he edge" type pain is always involved, along with fear and they are never planned. Very bonding experience to me with/without after care! PS. lol, that responses to this post are few and I hypothisize its because most don't know what "catharsis" means. I bet more responses if re-worded, but don't do it cause I said. quote: ORIGINAL: homedespot I'm interested in hearing about others experiences with cathartic bdsm "scenes". I'm curious about whether they were planned scenes discussed between the people involved or if they were unplanned and just "happened". I'm curious about whether is was pain that brought it about or if there was something completely other then pain or if it was pain plus a trigger of some sort. I'm curious about the aftercare that you got and the aftercare that you felt was appropriate. I'm curious, if pain was involved, if there was more pain then usual, or a different type then you usually used or if it was what a pretty 'normal' scene for you that turned into something else and why. I'm curious if it was a good experience for you in the end or if, looking back, you regret doing it. Obviously different people will have different experiences. J.

Lockit -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/31/2009 1:28:06 PM)
I have had more results with the mental and emotional aspects of my dominance than actual pain causing things to happen, maybe because I work more with the mental and emotional than I do with pain or because we get to a lot of places before I will go to a lot of painful places. I want into that brain, that heart... that life and believe me, my digging can be painful, but one willing to go there isn't sorry. If he isn't willing... then I lose interest. I want to know what I am dealing with before I push the pain buttons or triggers. It's just my way. But I do think sometimes of doing things differently depending on the person, just haven't yet. I love taking someone through to the light (mental and emotional, soul wrentching revelations) and cuddles in sounds, arms, kisses and the like are major!

beeble -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/31/2009 4:26:24 PM)
Not really catharsis as such but, if I'm having a stressful or otherwise crappy day at work, the thought of coming home and kneeling for Kita to put my collar around my neck is very soothing. That and various gentle sorts of play are a nice way to refocus and put the bad parts of the day behind me. I guess it's the BDSM equivalent of kissing the scraped knee to make it better. [:)] Alas, this is all theoretical since, when I'm having an off day at work, Kita's on a different continent. But the thought turns out to count for quite a bit. beeble.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (3/31/2009 6:36:24 PM)
quote: beeble: Not really catharsis as such but, if I'm having a stressful or otherwise crappy day at work, the thought of coming home and kneeling for Kita to put my collar around my neck is very soothing. That and various gentle sorts of play are a nice way to refocus and put the bad parts of the day behind me. I guess it's the BDSM equivalent of kissing the scraped knee to make it better. [:)] Off topic, but I'm gonna' chime in here and say there's nothing wrong with just plain kissing too. At the right moment, a kiss can be the most cathartic thing in the world. No pain. No hurties. Just soft lips. Pain, even for a pain slut, isn't a silver bullet, one-tool-fits-all solution to every situation. Elan.

Danibelle -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (4/1/2009 6:45:09 AM)
The boyfriend is usually very good with knowing what will and will not set me off. That's what happens after years and years of being together and talking about everything we've both experienced. A few weeks ago he said something that hit an emotional trigger for me and I started hysterically crying. He stopped everything, got down super close to me, started petting and kissing me and asked me if I wanted to stop. I informed him that I didn't, but that I wanted to steer away from what we had been talking about and what he had talked about doing. After we were done, he lied down with me and we talked everything out. Yes, I cried a lot more, but no matter how many times we had talked about this particular subject before I don't think either one of us really understood how I felt about it until we had "gone there." I found that talk to be extremely cathartic. I know it's a vague story, but it's not one I'm willing to post on a message board. If you'd like more info, send me a message and I'll give a bit more detail.

chamberqueen -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (4/3/2009 7:53:20 AM)
I have not had much experience with pain play other than through punishments. I know that those are cathartic for me. I was punished physically, I cried, I felt that I was forgiven and the slate wiped clean. I vastly prefer that to someone holding something against you for years while you don't even know that you have never been completely forgiven. Aftercare included being able to sit on his lap with his arms around me, being allowed to cry on his shoulder, and knowing that he cared enough about me to train me properly rather than just giving up on me.

subinchico -> RE: Cathartic BDSM or catharsis through pain (4/8/2009 6:33:46 PM)
I sense you're a very fun and lovable person. Thanks for beimng you! From the sappy slave in me, bb, quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I have had more results with the mental and emotional aspects of my dominance than actual pain causing things to happen, maybe because I work more with the mental and emotional than I do with pain or because we get to a lot of places before I will go to a lot of painful places. I want into that brain, that heart... that life and believe me, my digging can be painful, but one willing to go there isn't sorry. If he isn't willing... then I lose interest. I want to know what I am dealing with before I push the pain buttons or triggers. It's just my way. But I do think sometimes of doing things differently depending on the person, just haven't yet. I love taking someone through to the light (mental and emotional, soul wrentching revelations) and cuddles in sounds, arms, kisses and the like are major!

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