How not to go Crazy

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How not to go Crazy - 3/27/2009 8:15:53 AM

LATEXBABY64

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Setting rules and ideas up front can be a healthy thing. Emotionaly and mentally and physically. Labels are important a lot of time in here people put them down or say oh no not that again . Somethings just are and we need to not mess with them. setting good goals from bad ones. Not letting bad people dictate our life path. how do know a unhealthy relationship from a good. Why no one is perfect . We s hould alway strive for profection in some way shape or form. so in your life is it your dom or you that makes your rules for how you live or suffer either way
lets hear your opionions

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 3/27/2009 8:45:29 AM

crouchingtigress

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I think i am answering the right question if I am not please clarify.

I read that you are asking How do you set up rules in your life, your goals and your boundaries, so as not to go crazy.

I think goals are very important, it keeps a relationship moving toward something, I am deeply attracted to SM because there is a very" lay it all out on the table and write it all up in a contract and sign on the dotted line" tract at some levels of SM play that I simply love.

So with a boy/boi we have a period of evaluation, then we go over what I feel needs to be changed, then we make a chart, then we have consequences and we also schedule rewards...

It all very Super Nanny.

My primary relationship with Lee is an LDR so it is not as hands on, and does not need to be. So with us its more like checking in daily, Having a line of communication open on LJ, and then course correcting and navigating if our needs are changing.

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 3/27/2009 8:48:21 AM >

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 3/27/2009 9:00:02 AM

crouchingtigress

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Yanno I just wanted to add something...

I know a lot of folks dont go in for the setting things down on paper, they think contracts are silly, things like long term and short term goals are not discussed...but maybe it was the way I was trained but I just dont get that.

We have such a unique opportunity in SM to use a skill set that is integral in building businesses, also in making huge leaps in personal development and creating peace between nations and yet so many of us don't bother to set goals, create contracts, tract progress toward those goals, and reevaluate and renegotiate when things inevitably change.

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 3/27/2009 1:25:28 PM

LATEXBABY64

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do you think there is a lack of comunication in our lifestyle

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 3/27/2009 1:29:09 PM

stella41b

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

do you think there is a lack of comunication in our lifestyle

No, I think there's plenty of communication going on. However far more noticeable is the lack o coherent thinking.

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 5/2/2009 9:42:11 AM

kuriouswitch

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Master is the one who makes the rules and such anymore. which is a good thing in my opinion. It's not that I can't but I follow his rules much better than I ever followed my own. He and I talk constantly so there are always updates or things are... not lax but I don't get reminded to do this chore as much because it's become habit while he'll add a new one and start reminding me to do that one until it becomes habit.

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 5/2/2009 10:46:09 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

do you think there is a lack of comunication in our lifestyle

No more so than any other and I don't expect us to magically be better. As for the rest... no one is perfect because they are human and I don't think rules are going to magically make a relationship healthy either. In our relationship, Val sets them with my input so that they are the most effective for how we work together.

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RE: How not to go Crazy - 5/2/2009 11:08:33 AM

DesFIP

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We don't set up goals or rules. We're very practical people, we both have to be headed for the same goal to achieve it. As far as how to get there, we try what appears to be the right path and if it doesn't work, we try something else. If we can't figure out how to get there, we ask a professional. Saves time and trouble.

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