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In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 11:02:04 AM   
FourQ


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In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then, using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said 'You want hot fudge with that?' And Man said 'Yes!' And Woman said 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'. And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double Cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service and MRSA.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians and French drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 12:36:07 PM   
WetBetty


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I'm hungry now and ordering Chinese food,
that way I'm speaking less English


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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 2:59:04 PM   
Vendaval


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Eat less fat, drink more wine and shag frequently for sexercise.

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 3:21:08 PM   
FourQ


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What about someone who doesn't eat fatty foods, very seldom drinks and hasn't had sexercise for so long his virginity's growing back?

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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 3:29:08 PM   
Vendaval


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The first 2 are negotiable.  How can a man's virginity grow back?  Plastic surgeons do hymen reconstruction on women but on a man?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 3:36:50 PM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
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It's not, but it feels that way.
It feels as though ice ages have come and gone since I last had any fun.


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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 3:50:39 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
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Summer is almost here, lots of festivals and events for fun and debauchery.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to FourQ)
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RE: In the beginning... - 3/28/2009 8:07:22 PM   
DaddyChess


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ROFL... now That's funny...

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RE: In the beginning... - 3/31/2009 2:04:01 PM   
NightTigress


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mm sexersise

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RE: In the beginning... - 3/31/2009 2:19:41 PM   
subtee


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Get ye behind me satan!

Wait...maybe not "behind" me...

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