Memo from management.

Memo from management. (Full Version)

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FourQ -> Memo from management. (3/28/2009 3:17:45 PM)
Memo from Information Technology (IT) Department Dear Colleagues; There are a lot of changes that are going to be taking place across the board as far as personal computers go. The goal is to remove all laptop computers by December and all desktop computers by February as part of the ongoing cost-cutting around the company. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch A Sketch?. There are many sound reason for doing this: No boot-up problems. No technical glitches keeping work from being done. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. No more worries about power cuts. Budget savings on Upgrades unparalleled. Frequently Asked Questions for the Etch A Sketch? Help Desk: Q: My Etch A Sketch? has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch A Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What's the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a New Document window? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch A Sketch?? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I save my Etch A Sketch? document? A: Do not shake it.

Vendaval -> RE: Memo from management. (3/28/2009 3:30:20 PM)
If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all.

rubberpet -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 4:06:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vendaval If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all. I know the feeling. It would be our luck they couldn't even send the memo out on an Etch-a-Sketch because the technology is too advanced for them. Hell, the security cameras where I work don't even have video tape. They use Scotch Tape. Sometimes, they just cram a midget in the little black domes with a box of crayons and a piece of paper.

FourQ -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 4:35:31 AM)
lol. My home camera takes a video and a photo, e-mails me the photo and uploads the video to my FTP server. If I'm out of the house it also changes the music and if it's dark it changes the lights around, and that's just if someone walks up the driveway! If I can do that I'm sure a security company can do better than scotch video tape.

YoursMistress -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 8:31:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Vendaval If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all. Respectfully Miss V, as a member of management, I work very hard to eliminate any trace of sarcasm from the ridiculous memos that I send out to the team. yours

Vendaval -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 1:02:31 PM)
How much do they pay you per memo?

YoursMistress -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 1:45:30 PM)
Sigh. If only, Miss V. We are struggling with measures of productivity, so we convened a cross-functional team to go offsite to work on it. Our overhead charges mysteriously grew immensely during this week, so drastic measures were implemented, including asking each employee to take his/her mandatory company training on their own time. We are going to hire a team of outside consultants to investigate the inexplicable charges from the prior week. I'll keep you informed. yours

Vendaval -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 3:06:13 PM)
Dept. of Redundancy Department, check

intenze -> RE: Memo from management. (3/29/2009 6:21:05 PM)
This might come in handy: http://www.mwls.co.uk/jargon.htm

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