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Andalusite -> RE: Like riding a bicycle... not. (4/1/2009 1:02:23 AM)
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I'm a switch, and recently ended a nearly 4 year relationship as a submissive, so I'm still kind of getting back into gear for domination and topping. I did a little bit with someone I went out with recently, and it really clicked right away for me. I also took a hands-on workshop on using singletails, but I'm not ready to use one on a person yet, I need more practice on inanimate objects first. It was nice kind of exploring that side of things, though.
For me, there would be very different approaches to trying to get into the "mood" as a Domme, as a top, or feeling primal/predatory. Some things that might feed my Domme side might include being pampered (massage, low-key service, possibly putting my feet up on him (not as a footstool, per se, but in his lap), a particularly subservient/obedient demeanor (I'm probably putting that badly, but there's just this look of aching submission that pushes my buttons like crazy). If I wanted more of a predatory feel, I'd probably go more with wrestling, biting, etc. - getting very physical and pinning him down while he struggles/resists. If I'm topping without D/s, then maybe start with more of a sensation play scene, and work up to heavier stuff if the mood hit us, but not worry too much about the outcome. If you give yourself permission to be a little hmm, not quite selfish, but focused primarily on doing what you feel like in the moment, without worrying too much about where it's going to go, I think that will help. Pulling hair usually works for me, too, for all of the above. [;)]
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