Experience Level

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InspiredLadySub -> Experience Level (4/1/2009 6:14:46 PM)
Do you prefer submissives with a certain amount of experience (be it more or less)? If you do, why? Does it matter to you when considering someone?

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 6:19:09 PM)
Did you try the search function, this has been covered many times. Mike

RexLongBeach -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 6:39:19 PM)
For me, it's changed over time. Earlier, especially when I was first starting out, inexperienced was better. An inexperienced Dom with a highly experienced sub is a tough combo to make work. Later, experienced or inexperienced didn't matter much to me: it was all good. Before settling in with (my girl) damita, I was looking for an experienced submissive, primarily because I felt I had a better shot at long term compatibility with a submissive that knew a fair amount about her submissive side. A submissive with experience has a better understanding of her wants and needs vs. the lifestlye. I wanted a girl who'd tried things in real life (as compared to fantasies or cyber); she knew what she wanted and didn't want, what she'd do and what she wouldn't. I wanted a girl who loved submission, knew it, and who wanted to be with a Dominant that had dreams/desires/passions/fetishes compatible with hers. Sure, the non-kink stuff counts for a lot in a relationship, but you weren't asking about that. Good luck and have fun, Rex

DesFIP -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 7:07:32 PM)
I was totally inexperienced. He liked that because he had previously met a string of subs who were constantly saying "My last master didn't do it like that". And such like phrases. Turned him off of women with experience.

DavanKael -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 7:26:57 PM)
Affinity and broad-based compatibility is far more important to me, however, I am looking for a life partner who is also my playmate and not just a playmate. Davan

crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 8:33:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RexLongBeach A submissive with experience has a better understanding of her wants and needs vs. the lifestlye. I wanted a girl who'd tried things in real life (as compared to fantasies or cyber); she knew what she wanted and didn't want, what she'd do and what she wouldn't. I wanted a girl who loved submission, knew it, and who wanted to be with a Dominant that had dreams/desires/passions/fetishes compatible with hers. Sure, the non-kink stuff counts for a lot in a relationship, but you weren't asking about that. Good luck and have fun, Rex quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I was totally inexperienced. He liked that because he had previously met a string of subs who were constantly saying "My last master didn't do it like that". And such like phrases. Turned him off of women with experience. i know i'm not a Master, i'm a mouthy "s" type, but Y/you'd think that both would have good points and bad. i'm relatively new and inexperienced, but highly trainable to specifications a lot easier than if i had massive experience already.

SailingBum -> RE: Experience Level (4/1/2009 11:19:14 PM)
Of course the other side of that coin is. You are clueless and have no idea how to act or what is expected of you in the future. just saying BadOne

kuriouswitch -> RE: Experience Level (4/2/2009 12:15:55 AM)
I'm very inexperienced. My experience has been online only with one other collar before Master that went south on both of our parts. Master likes that because he can teach me his way of doing things, what he expects but he also enjoys seeing my reaction when i try something new and enjoy it and i want to keep doing it until i'm sick of it lol. He's very much a teacher so when i have questions or concerns he's very helpful with those as well. But he's had experienced subs/slaves in the past.

DesFIP -> RE: Experience Level (4/2/2009 4:43:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Of course the other side of that coin is. You are clueless and have no idea how to act or what is expected of you in the future. just saying BadOne I don't know about crh, but personally I had been fantasizing about bondage and playing with rope while masturbating for years. Hardly clueless as to what I liked. As far as what is expected of me? That would change from dominant to dominant anyway. Some relationships are based on obedience, some on service, some on emotional transparency. I had plenty of real life experience to know which I was looking for. Stuff transfers from other experiences if you are sufficiently self aware.

IronBear -> RE: Experience Level (4/2/2009 5:31:09 AM)
Experience is of course a consideration when looking at a new person and the possibility of a collar or as a casual play partner. If they have experience different to my own I will want to learn from them. More importantly is the computability with that person and myself and wife and our lifestyle..

SailingBum -> RE: Experience Level (4/2/2009 12:55:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Of course the other side of that coin is. You are clueless and have no idea how to act or what is expected of you in the future. just saying BadOne I don't know about crh, but personally I had been fantasizing about bondage and playing with rope while masturbating for years. Hardly clueless as to what I liked. As far as what is expected of me? That would change from dominant to dominant anyway. Some relationships are based on obedience, some on service, some on emotional transparency. I had plenty of real life experience to know which I was looking for. Stuff transfers from other experiences if you are sufficiently self aware. Yea your response to my post was completely out of context. For the record What you enjoi is a no concern to me. It's about the sub pleasing me NOT me pleasing her. Bottom line I don't care what you like. Maybe that clears it up a little for you. BadOne

Lashra -> RE: Experience Level (4/2/2009 3:25:26 PM)
I prefer some experience yes. That way he at least has some idea of what is going on. I did have to train my current sub as he was brand new to subbing after years of being a Dominant. But at least he knew what was going on. ~Lashra

Rover -> RE: Experience Level (4/3/2009 1:04:14 PM)
Personally, I don't consider a submissive's experience level beyond three factors. 1. Do they know enough about themselves to separate what appeals to them on a fantasy level from what appeals to them on a reality level. 2. Are they able to give some level of informed consent. 3. Is their experience so ingrained that they need to serve their past, rather than serve me (ie: the "right way" is the way they've been doing it, rather than the way I want it done). Beyond that, experience is the easiest thing to acquire... it just takes a little time. John

crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Experience Level (4/3/2009 1:25:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Of course the other side of that coin is. You are clueless and have no idea how to act or what is expected of you in the future. just saying BadOne I don't know about crh, but personally I had been fantasizing about bondage and playing with rope while masturbating for years. Hardly clueless as to what I liked. As far as I had plenty of real life experience to know which I was looking for. Stuff transfers from other experiences if you are sufficiently self aware. Thank You for Your reply, SailingBum, Sir. ~respectfully~ i do see Your point and it can be the case, but on the other hand i am a fast learner and a perfectionist. i am hardly clueless, but after being chastised by You, i am thinking maybe i should stay away from this message board, as it is Ask a Master, and obviously i am not. ~again, respectfully~ But then again, E/everyone seems to post all over the place, regardless. Again, thank You. Also, thank you, DesFIP. ~smiles~ i also had not only been fantasizing about being submissive for years and known for a long time that it was what i really am, but i had done a lot of reading over the years on what it is and what is expected. True, it is not the same as experiencing it, but it was informative. And i do agree in that, what is expected of me? That would change from Dominant to Dominant anyway. Some relationships are based on obedience, some on service, some on emotional transparency. For me, i do my best to give all three. And yes, experiences from other areas of my life only improve my ability to give in this area. ~hugs~ Thanks to both of Y/you.

Knite064 -> RE: Experience Level (4/3/2009 2:55:20 PM)
Two examples: Girl a: completely new to the scene and i was her first D/s relationship yet she could absorb everything i brought into our dynamic and reacted the way i wished her too (she naturally channeled everything positively and understood me exceptionally well Girl b:Very experienced and knowledgeable and although i could go at a much faster pace with her fundamentally she channeled as the girl above It was down to pure chemistry between both those girls and i(seperate relationships) and for me thats the only thing im interested in with no interest in previous experience....

Andalusite -> RE: Experience Level (4/3/2009 5:40:03 PM)
DesFIP, obviously that worked out well for you, but I just wanted to point out that things that arouse me to fantasise about in that situation aren't necessarily things I enjoy or want to actually do, while there are lots of things that I never would have thought were particularly hot, and still don't fantasise about, that feel fantastic to actually do! Fantasy and learning are fine, as far as they go, but I don't think that a person who is new to BDSM can figure out what they want and need from them. Personally, I tend to be more trainable in general if I have some grounding in a particular area of interest, and I know better than to play any teacher off against another, whether for Calculus, dancing, or BDSM. When you are working with an individual person, their standards are what matter.

SailingBum -> RE: Experience Level (4/4/2009 1:24:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyredhead1957 Thank You for Your reply, SailingBum, Sir. ~respectfully~ i do see Your point and it can be the case, but on the other hand i am a fast learner and a perfectionist. i am hardly clueless, but after being chastised by You, i am thinking maybe i should stay away from this message board, as it is Ask a Master, and obviously i am not. ~again, respectfully~ But then again, E/everyone seems to post all over the place, regardless. Again, thank You. HUH My post was to show another way of looking at it. I was NOT referring to you < the generic you> as clueless. I don't know you well enuff to call you clueless. Just cuz someone doesn't agree with you make you not want to post. What happens to the exchange of idea then??? Ya know sometimes I'll take the other point of view just cuz I can. smirks BadOne

subangi -> RE: Experience Level (4/4/2009 6:02:46 AM)
Are you scaring the girls away again? What are we going to do with you Bad One?

IronBear -> RE: Experience Level (4/4/2009 6:18:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover Personally, I don't consider a submissive's experience level beyond three factors. 1. Do they know enough about themselves to separate what appeals to them on a fantasy level from what appeals to them on a reality level. 2. Are they able to give some level of informed consent. 3. Is their experience so ingrained that they need to serve their past, rather than serve me (ie: the "right way" is the way they've been doing it, rather than the way I want it done). Beyond that, experience is the easiest thing to acquire... it just takes a little time. John G'dfay John, good to see your posts again.. I agree with what you say.

crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Experience Level (4/4/2009 7:58:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: crazyredhead1957 Thank You for Your reply, SailingBum, Sir. ~respectfully~ i do see Your point and it can be the case, but on the other hand i am a fast learner and a perfectionist. i am hardly clueless, but after being chastised by You, i am thinking maybe i should stay away from this message board, as it is Ask a Master, and obviously i am not. ~again, respectfully~ But then again, E/everyone seems to post all over the place, regardless. Again, thank You. HUH My post was to show another way of looking at it. I was NOT referring to you < the generic you> as clueless. I don't know you well enuff to call you clueless. Just cuz someone doesn't agree with you makes you not want to post. What happens to the exchange of idea then??? Ya know sometimes I'll take the other point of view just cuz I can. smirks BadOne Thank You, Sir, for Your reply. It's much appreciated. i just did not want to appear too mouthy and did not want to offend. BTW, i do enjoy all Your posts on the boards. ~smiles~

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