Sorry for venting

Sorry for venting (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

AngelGeena -> Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 8:46:32 AM)
Around 6 months ago, I met a potential Dom here on CM. We live about 4 hours apart. We talked a while, and because of some things going on in life, we parted ways. A couple months back, I randomly texted him just to see how he was. We started talking again and things were nearly perfect. I truly believe I love him and he said he loved me as well. Today, things all fell apart. He got angry with me because I still had a profile here on CM, as well as on other sites. I use these to communicate with friends and gather useful information. He said that since I was still on here, then I was looking for someone else as that is the only, ONLY reason people are on here (his words, not mine). So now, I find myself "dumped" because I am apparently looking for something or someone else. The D/s aspect of our relationship was stricktly in the bedroom. I even went as far as to get tattood with the pet name he gave me (good thing it wasn't his name, huh). I just don't get it. And he says he refuses to take the blame for ending it. I'm befuddled. Any comforting words of wisdom? Thanks for letting me vent.

DavanKael -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 8:49:50 AM)
Better off without him (Though, I know it doesn't feel that way at the moment). Think before you ink. Best wishes, Davan

angelwithhonor -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 8:52:13 AM)
....well i guess its His side of seeing things..and truthfuly you know that honestly the profile was there to be for the forums or friends. its His insecurity not yours...many ppl on here have profiles and are not searching.i am sorry that you got dumped, there will be someone out there who will trust you and why you are on here..peace kate[:)]

peppermint -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 8:56:56 AM)
Sounds to me as if he were getting tired of the relationship and looking for any excuse to break it off. He didn't want to listen to your side of the matter. You could have put him in contact with dozens of people who use this site for other than seeking a partner. That wouldn't have mattered to him at all. By the way, what was HE doing here if HE isn't looking? Why does anyone need to take the blame for ending the relatioship? It's over, done with...move on with your life.

InTonguesslut -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 9:00:08 AM)
As one door closes another door opens. Truthfully i'd be slamming the door on him if i were you, making sure it smacked him in the ass as he went through it. Better you found out now that he's an ass hun [:D]

MissEnchanted -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 9:03:23 AM)
You can have feelings of love for someone but that doesn't make it a good match. He didn't trust you to have a different reason for being on cm. You know the truth. He doesn't accept YOUR truth. be kind to yourself.... Vent away... [;)]

AngelGeena -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 9:06:22 AM)
Sad thing is that my internet had been shut off until just a week ago today so I wasn't even using it at all. A couple weeks ago I found out I was diabetic and I was glad to have the forums for reference to see issues that had been discussed about how the condition has affected people. Thanks everyone, it really does help.

MsFlutter -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 9:13:05 AM)
Sounds like he was looking for an 'out' Sounds like he needs to be shown 'out' Sounds like you have bigger issues to deal with than his self-absorption

Rainfire -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 9:49:18 AM)
I agree with the others, it sounds like he was looking for any excuse to break it off. I'm here on CM for the boards and a few friends though Lumus (whom I met here on the boards) has moved on and is busy with other things. My profile clearly states that I am not looking. If your now ex couldn't believe you, it sounds like he has trust issues which could cause serious problems down the road. Painful as it is, better to find out now than to invest more of yourself and time in a no-win situation. (And I'm also wondering.... If he "knows" so much about CM and that we're all here supposedly to just hook up and find someone, uhhhhh, what the hell was he doing here? Pot meet kettle?) Best wishes and please - vent away. It's why we're here. Good luck to you!

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:25:27 AM)
He's a jerk. Forget him. Turn your jerk detector to the "on" position, before you go looking again.

DesFIP -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:28:16 AM)
It was a sex only relationship, he wants something new, and he is too cowardly to admit it. Next time you may want to think better of getting permanent markings for a less than permanent relationship. Good luck getting the tat covered up.

Kana -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:30:43 AM)
Tattoo? After six months. Gulp.

AngelGeena -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:32:05 AM)
Thankfully it wasn't his name, just the word pet. I still don't mind having it. Its just the idea that if I wasn't committed to him, why would I have bothered. And actually, sex had not yet occurred. Thus maybe the issue. Our distance, combined with a couple other things, prevented us from taking the relationship much further up to this point.

pinkwind -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:32:13 AM)
Geena, there are those for whom commitment is a dirty word, and who will look for any excuse to get out of a relationship that is actually going to put them on the spot. You have had a narrow escape, just think how much worse you could be feeling if you had invested even more time, effort and emotion on an obvious wanker who preys on others for his jollies.

MissMorrigan -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 10:57:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelGeena Sad thing is that my internet had been shut off until just a week ago today so I wasn't even using it at all. A couple weeks ago I found out I was diabetic and I was glad to have the forums for reference to see issues that had been discussed about how the condition has affected people. Thanks everyone, it really does help. I see a different take on this, Geena. What I see from the details you've provided is a deeply insecure person. There are quite a few persons who cannot wrap their heads around a respective other's continued use of a site once they have seemingly found their mate. It's a transference and he's judging you by the criteria he himself used CM. Collarme is a personals site, it's where the bold and the beautiful create profiles in the hope of hooking up with like-minded folk. Then there's Collarchat, the forums that provide a platform to learn, gain insight, exchange ideas or simply just chill. To an insecure person that created their profile on the 'other side', the meat market, finding their mate still using it plunges them into the 'still available' category and nothing you can say or do will alter that in them. All you can do is give yourself time to positively process the conclusion of this relationship, continue to grow and make wiser decisions regarding prospective others in the future. Good luck hon.

SailingBum -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 11:13:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AngelGeena Thankfully it wasn't his name, just the word pet. I still don't mind having it. Its just the idea that if I wasn't committed to him, why would I have bothered. And actually, sex had not yet occurred. Thus maybe the issue. Our distance, combined with a couple other things, prevented us from taking the relationship much further up to this point. This story gets better and better. You have known him 6 months, a couple of those months the 2 of you were not talking. You have not had sex <i can respect that tho I dont agree> Now you got a permanent mark on you from this guy who is gone. What were you thinking??? BadOne

AngelGeena -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 12:05:29 PM)
Thats what I keep asking myself. [sm=banghead.gif]

MrRodgers -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 12:24:42 PM)
Some of these posts of certain relationships often make me smile. Your affair was born of the net. So often, too much is assumed I think therefore. Having this kind of control consumates in my opinion only after a sub/slave is living under her man's roof. Don't feel the chains of bondage and the soul in her service, stretch as long as 6 months or...as far as 4 hours.

LovingDom86 -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 1:49:15 PM)
Insecurity on his part that you should be thankful is manifesting itself while things are still relatively safe/impersonal. (minus the tattoo... eek) i.e. this issue of his could easily blow up in your face much later on during a potential life together. Be happy he is showing his immaturity and distrust NOW. I agree with everyone who said he may also be looking for an "out" and using this as his only ammo against you. Do yourself and decent people around the world a favor and put him way waaaay in the past. I hate when immature people call themselves "doms"

justgemmie -> RE: Sorry for venting (4/2/2009 1:56:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Tattoo? After six months. Gulp. ok, i'm with Kana on this one. Six months ago you met someone, then broke up, then later hooked back up. So you've actually been with him anywhere from 5 months to a couple days, hadn't even had sex yet (so i must question just how much time you've actually spent with him) ......... and you tatooed? wow i'm not saying love doesn't happen quickly .... i know it can and it sometimes does. however, it's been a short enough time to simply accept you 2 didn't work out and let him go after a bit of grieving. accept he's being unacceptable and let him go. and "think before you ink" (i like that DavanKael!)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875