RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task

RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 4:52:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah How do you feel about Erotic Torture and Predicament Play? Steel Well I am sticking to the guy who loves to erotically torture me.... and understand why. It is because I am extremely service orientated and have spent many years perfecting ho best to serve: stuff like how to multi-task, The Golden Rule of Maintenance, always leaving a room tidier when I leave than when I arrive, skills at just about everything to do with cooking, cleaning, child rearing... not to mention going out to work and financially serving. All of that experience go to waste? because some Dom wants me to do it his way just for kicks? No thanks. Been there and done that and not so long ago. So give me a torturer of the slow kind anyday... one of those imperceptable movers who come at me slowly in my nlinfolded drakness, from some unknown direction with sharp pain, cold, heat, rope burn, clamps, asphyixiation and hard niting kisses... oh yes indeed....

DesFIP -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 5:13:41 PM)
Steel, you used the term "Impossible Task". We took for granted the fact that you meant it. Now if you meant a difficult task done with the intent of learning more about the sub's capabilities and abilities, you should have said that. We don't mind read. For me, the sheer possibility of failure as a likely result is paralyzing. Literally. If I don't think I can accomplish it, I won't even try. But I tell him that when he gives me such a task. At that point he breaks it down into small steps, each of which I should be able to accomplish. And should I be unable to figure one of them out, he explains it to me in greater detail, frequently followed by showing me how to do it. The possibility of failing doesn't exist with him, because he's a great teacher and because he sets things up so I can do them, eventually. If he needs it done within a certain time frame and I don't feel confident about being able to do so, then he helps me, or has me help him, so it is done. Failure is not an option here, success is. And being told he is disappointed in me, even if he meant it for fun, is heart breaking. He doesn't need to blame me for something if he wishes to play. He just says it's playtime.

frazzle121 -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 5:34:27 PM)
First time i was set up for an impossible task i was mortified. Ive since learnt, he just wanted me to try. Ok beyond that, if theres no way out i wont attempt, He's had to learn that. Chains i cant break, rope i may be able to undo. setting me up for faliure, i just end up in a confused mess. Never got out of anything yet but at least im not punished if i cant.

SailingBum -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 6:12:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum It must be a full moon. If she cannot complete the task, she cannot please you, nor get the pleasure of serving because she has failed. What part of that dont you understand??? Your words bro Not Mine. Steel Yea I guess you missed the part that says "she cannot please you" Allow me expand on my point of her/"our" pleasure If I tell her to do something and It doesnt get done for whatever reason "our pleasure" is jeopardy cuz Im prolly gonna be "pissed Off". I was not to clear in my first post. BadOne

MasterRaid -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 8:10:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah How do you feel about Erotic Torture and Predicament Play? Steel For the record,I love Erotic Torture and Predicament Play. There is nothing better than taking someone OUT of their comfort zone and showing them that through the unknown they can discover things about themselves they never knew were there. Providing it is safe, and the sub knows when to call it to an end should they loose their grip or become too far gone in the lesson or play. Now I am not certain but I thought I read somewhere you had also mentioned Impossible tasks, or someone had thought you enjoyed the notion of them. I do as well, they can be very usefull for teaching, self realizing, erotic play for those who are so inclined, and just for the most evil sadistic sides of My psyche. Now it is obvious why I would like to use them for My own gratification, I am an ass. But, as a Dom I do believe they are a usefull tool. There are many subs out there with either a self esteem issue or an over-developed drive to serve or accoplish tasks set to them, with just a tad of self loathing when they do not accomplish a task. Now I am speaking solely on a Master setting a task for sub or slave but I am meaning those subs who in the world whom are given tasks and do not succeed at them then have an overwhelming feeling of regret. It can be a good toll to teach a sub who has these issues that failure, just happens, let it go. Lets face it people there are times when you know you will not win but you still have to try. quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle121 First time i was set up for an impossible task i was mortified. Ive since learnt, he just wanted me to try. Ok beyond that, if theres no way out i wont attempt, He's had to learn that. Chains i cant break, rope i may be able to undo.setting me up for faliure, i just end up in a confused mess. Never got out of anything yet but at least im not punished if i cant. Now this is not at shot, but I have seen many who share this ideal and it is a concern of Mine. I worry about the effects to a sub's psyche when I see it. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP For me, the sheer possibility of failure as a likely result is paralyzing. Literally. If I don't think I can accomplish it, I won't even try. But I tell him that when he gives me such a task. At that point he breaks it down into small steps, each of which I should be able to accomplish. And should I be unable to figure one of them out, he explains it to me in greater detail, frequently followed by showing me how to do it. The possibility of failing doesn't exist with him, because he's a great teacher and because he sets things up so I can do them, eventually. If he needs it done within a certain time frame and I don't feel confident about being able to do so, then he helps me, or has me help him, so it is done. Failure is not an option here, success is. And being told he is disappointed in me, even if he meant it for fun, is heart breaking. He doesn't need to blame me for something if he wishes to play. He just says it's playtime. It is good you have such a caring Dom, but making it easy is not good (IMO) because what happens when something unexpected occurs and you fail at some trivial task. Do you have a deep sense of remorse? Is it an issue even though it was beyond your control that the task was not completed? These are the things that make setting the vertually Imposible tasks for a sub useful.Because in a controlled thing like this as a Dom you can be there for your sub to help them to understand to let go for the times that failure rears it's ugly head. (and get a little kick out of it for yourself when your a Mean Bastard like Me). P.S. SailingBum, over time I have learned that anger is not one of the better emotions for a Dom when dealing with a submissive. When I set a task for a sub/slave and it does not get accomplished I do not get pissed. I am disappointed, I discipline if it was intentional. But I do not get angry, what purpose would it serve to teach other than, when you cannot accomplish your task, I loose control. (Again not a shot at anyone here just talking about ideas.)

LadyPact -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/2/2009 8:56:34 PM)
I admit to only skimming some of the replies. I'm a bit tired and may not be able to make a worthwhile contribution. The first thing I want to make a quick mention on is the predicament bondage. Now, I'm not a rope person, but predicament play can be done with various things. Any time the top creates a situation where the bottom has a lesser of two evils scenario, you've created the predicament. However, as a person tires of a certain position, can only balance on a particular foot for so long, additional weight is added, etc, they create their own choice of which evil is actually less. This kind of play can be a lot of fun as the bottom goes back and forth from one peril to the other. I see this completely different than what might be termed the impossible task. If you present a situation that isn't possible to complete, and both parties are aware of it, the exercise is futile. They know going in that they are going to fail. There's no chance for success, so the result is skewed. What is more fun, in My mind, is creating the scenario where the bottom believes they have some chance of actually accomplishing the goal because the task is possible, but highly improbable. The chocolates across the room in someone's example above falls into this category. Sounds easy enough to the bottom, but the top has additional means to make the task more difficult. One that I like to play with My sub is what I call the alphabet game. The bottom is required to name play related words in alphabetical order, or they get a lash with a quirt. Sounds easy enough, right? Oh, but did I mention that the 'reward' for every right answer was a clothespin on your balls, earlobes, or on the webbing between your toes to see if I can break your concentration? Did I also mention that, when you just can't come up with something that begins with the letter "X" that you have to start over again? By the way, I don't accept repeats. Come up with a new play word for the letter when you start over. Now, that's the play angle. For common, every day tasks to please you, no I don't employ these methods. When I want My things from the dry cleaners, that's really all I want in life. I'm not setting up some obstacle course to prevent anyone from accomplishing that.

shorn -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 4:42:51 AM)
shorn is regularly put on a pony. On tip toe and wrists chained to a chining bar. Eventually shorn has to touch the pony. The pain is exquisite and shorn may not ask to be let down. Scream, moan make other noise yes, but if it sounds like a beg to be let off, the time on the pony, already unknown to shorn, is increased. This is play and is followed by sexual activity. Nobody has ever tried to torture unknown information from shorn, but it is going on the short list. If shorn were put on a leash too short to accomplish the task it would not be fun for shorn or anyone shorn would wish to belong to. On the ever increasing plate of chocolates to move by mouth, will shorn be beaten if a few get eaten? This spring shorn will be tending a nettle patch, makes a tasty soup, but the principle reason is shorn will be fully nude when doing so. Added with edit: Also shorn has been told that fresh urine reduces the nettle sting.

SteelofUtah -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 12:08:22 PM)
Where I get confused is the literalness that many take when this term is used. "Impossible Task" when I hear it used is the same as "Beating my slave" a term that is used more offten and usually goes by without the bat of an eyelash. If I said I Beat My wife, I am sure there are many people who would view this as an abusive concept and as such would view me as a Asshole. However my wife is also my slave and I take the flogger and beat her with it. The Semantics of words is funny to me, we put shuch great emphasis on some words and ignore the connotations of others. We eventually end up with a situation in which we say this word is okay to use and this word is not when in reality it is a matter of I am NOT comfortable with this word so it is now a Bad Word and I am comfortable with this word so this word is okay to use even if someone else doesn't care for it. Impossible Tasks are just that impossible. I know it is and so does andi, but her desire to please me is in showing me that she is "WILLING" to attempt even the impossible. I am never upset with her when something doesn't get done unless by her own admission she didn't try and then I am disappointed that she didn't try, not that the task isn't done. I have a Philosophy about things in this life. I have an expectation, because of the nature of that expectation I am putting my happiness and contentment on something I have no control over. If I am not willing to take the time to address expectations to those who serve me then I might as well do it myself because I will always be left unfulfilled. I have to be willing to teach the process I want administered in how things are done, because even the impossible is worth trying. I find the fact that there are many who won't even try to be sad. Yes the task is daunting and it may very well be impossible, even so is there not merit in attempting the task if for no other reason than to show that you are "WILLING"? Here is an Example. From time to time our midget can make a mess of the house. I am not a Spic-N-Span Dom and do not mind things in minor disaray and andi knows this. There does come times when I want the house in Tip-Top (Or as well as we can manage) shape and when these times come I used to say "I want this house Clean today" I knew it wasn't going to happen, I knew it would need to be addressed and yes she frantically ran around and made the same orginazation mistakes I am used to finding when people are given a project and a deadline that is realistically impossible the task completion process flies out the window. Stop - Focus - Realize - Accept. If you simply follow this process anything is possible and you will stress so much less. Stop being Frantic and relax the work isn't going anywhere and neither are you. Focus on the task at hand and remove as many distractions as are possible, turn off the TV or put away the paper you want to read difuse time wasters. Realize that you are only human and can only do what you are able to do and if that means you will not be able to complete the tasks given you can at least do the best you can on one of the tasks at a time. Accept that if it is Impossible then it is Impossible and accept that you can only do what you can do. Try to accomplish as much as you can and don't start something new until you have progresses something as far as it can go. I will always be pleased to find something completely done then everything only partially done. Teaching this to andi has not only helped in our relationship she is finally getting raises and being promoted at a job where before she was getting fired for never being able to complete what needed to be done. Now she can say well I was able to get all this done but ran out of time for that and most people can respect that kind of honesty. Seriously folks Impossible is a Frame of Mind and you would be amazed at what you CAN accomplish if you simply TRY with honest effort at something that you originally thought was impossible. Steel

StormsSlave -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 12:49:10 PM)
One night My Lord told me I wasn't allowed to cum. He followed that by saying he was going to make me cum, and when I came he would punish me, because I wasn't allowed to cum. He knew I was going to fail, so did I, but the experience, and the punishment was seriously HOT! It was a game we both enjoyed, and nobody took anything too personally. After, he was sure to check my emotions to insure I wasn't devastated by it, and we discussed the possisibility of doing it again. On the other hand, using the above cleaning the corners example, I think I'd leave. If any man were to get their jollies from watching me become more and more frustrated by my inability to please them, I would be looking for an exit as soon as I could. Putting effort toward futility is an experience I have often enough in this universe...having someone require me to experience it for their own pleasure...uh uh...not me. Being used as an object of humor and ridicule is not my idea of a good time. Like DesFip...I think I'd just sit down on the floor and write a book in my head. Probably one involving the maiming of the asshole that put me there. That is at least productive. To each their own, but not for me.

DesFIP -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 5:38:41 PM)
Raid, at 54 years old, I can accomplish most tasks. If he wanted the oil changed in the car, he could demand I do it, knowing I don't have the slightest idea of where the drain plug is, or how to do it. This would be a set up for failure. Or he could put it on the list of things to do and I'll swing by the Jiffy Lube next time I'm near there. But telling me I have to do it myself, knowing I don't have the knowledge, the tools, or anything else required to do so wouldn't be erotic torture for me. It would be an excuse to call me an incompetent loser and have me call myself that as a result. Been there, done that, with the ex. One of the reasons he is the ex. Or he could do as he has with all the kids when they got their licenses, take them out and talk them through the process of changing the oil on their cars. Beyond that, trivial tasks aren't things here to get upset about. We don't sweat the petty stuff. If he wanted to see why I was having so much difficulty with an ongoing task, as Steel has with andi, he wouldn't try to make it more difficult by making my emotions run high with worry about failing. Because emotional upset doesn't help get the job done, it interferes with it. Using straight forward communication and saying he doesn't see where my problem is, so he wants me to go about it as though he weren't here while he watches and learns would accomplish the same thing but without getting me to beat myself up over it. And without the emotional turmoil, I'm a lot more able to identify the problem and bring it to him. You can put someone in hobbles and tell them to clean the house knowing it won't get clean within an hour when your guests will be there, or you can get the task accomplished. You can't do it both ways.

TaoWoman -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 6:55:15 PM)
All my relationships have been based on the sensual and erotic aspects of WIIWD. I have experienced several "situations" where I knew I would eventually "fail" ( which by nature, I hate to fail) leading to the inevitable spanking...which always resulted in being fucked. Knowing the final outcome always gave/gives me a sense of security and comfort, no matter how intense the play/task or bondage may be. Infact, being pushed at times beyond what I thought was play such as a mindfuck, only seems to intensify the sexual aspect. Even when spankings have been taken to tears, the orgasms have been amazing. I have always been with partners I felt safe with and knew ahead of the game that the objective was/is sexual enjoyment for both~ The goal being sensual and sexual intensity. I know this doesn't answer in regards to improving ones self in other areas such as vanilla tasks and such but I am only here for the enjoyable aspects of this realm, not the philosophies - those I find elsewhere~

SteelofUtah -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 7:33:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If he wanted the oil changed in the car, he could demand I do it, knowing I don't have the slightest idea of where the drain plug is, or how to do it. This would be a set up for failure. Or he could put it on the list of things to do and I'll swing by the Jiffy Lube next time I'm near there. But telling me I have to do it myself, knowing I don't have the knowledge, the tools, or anything else required to do so wouldn't be erotic torture for me. It would be an excuse to call me an incompetent loser and have me call myself that as a result. Been there, done that, with the ex. One of the reasons he is the ex. I think this more than anything is the reason some people have an issue with this particular aspect and the term "Impossible Task" I would accept the Jiffy Lube solution as the best possible solution ESPECIALLY because you don't know and if attempted by yourself could cause a MAJOR failure with that mode of transportation that is a problem. However if you did attempt it yourself and took the peoper steps in doing so I would be equally as proud even if you didn't do it right. Your Ex..... Was a Douche. Not all who ask the impossible actually expect it I seek only that andi try. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP If he wanted to see why I was having so much difficulty with an ongoing task, as Steel has with andi, he wouldn't try to make it more difficult by making my emotions run high with worry about failing. Because emotional upset doesn't help get the job done, it interferes with it. Using straight forward communication and saying he doesn't see where my problem is, so he wants me to go about it as though he weren't here while he watches and learns would accomplish the same thing but without getting me to beat myself up over it. And without the emotional turmoil, I'm a lot more able to identify the problem and bring it to him. Perception is an amazing thing. You would preceive your inability to do something as Failure. How Strange that sounds. I see it as a reason to work on something. It is only possible for andi to fail me if she chooses too. ANY attempt is her trying to please me and therefore she cannot fail me. She can however show me were I am in need to help her perform to my standards. Before during the first year of our relationship andi and I used to fight a lot. I would get upset because something wasn't done and she would say she worked her butt off and I would disagree. We kept coming back to this same place OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. (Define Insanity) and so I moved to something different. I Moved to the "Impossible Task" because I wanted to see what andi does when "SHE" Preceives something as Impossible whether it is or not she shuts down and gives up, she decides it isn't worth doing because she cannot do it so why bother. To me THIS is a MAJOR problem for a person in general not just a submissive. We identifed so many things useing the "Impossible Task" and it brought us closer together. See andi would simply dread the concept so much she would procrastinate or adress it with the "Man I really don't want to do this." mentality. So we decided the best plan of action for cleaning the house. There is a Process and from beginning to end it moves from one project to the next and makes what she saw as complete disaray as a process. And what do you know one day when before she would see the house as hopeless and since it was impossible why bother trying........eventually she could do what she preceived as impossible. Predicament play is one thing, Erotic Torture is another When I set a Task that literally is COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE it is as a game, I am not a Douche. I make it very well known that we are playing even if I don't use words. quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You can put someone in hobbles and tell them to clean the house knowing it won't get clean within an hour when your guests will be there, or you can get the task accomplished. You can't do it both ways In both situations if it did not get done it would be the Dominant who failed NOT the submissive. If that cannot be seen then you are dealing with a Douche! The Bag of Douche (I.e. Douche Bag) will set tasks and then berate someone when they are not done correctly, they will punish rather than teach or believe they are teaching by way of beating thus proving the douche bag status. I say this as a former Douche Bag. Thank you My name is Steel and it has been 438 days since I was Last a Douche. Steel

MasterRaid -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/3/2009 11:08:56 PM)
DesFIP, I think you and I are talking about two different things. I can see what you are saying your Dom is doing and what your ex used to do to you. Your ex was an idiot for putting you down on purpose. Your current Dom seems like a very caring Man. I agree with you on daily activities and if it is something trivial like oil changes or a lack of knowledge I am agreeing with you. What I am speaking about is failure in general and subs that have that dreaded fear of it. Even when they know how to accomplish the tasks set forth. With a feeble attempt at explination through a story, I once knew a sub who had this problem with failure. It was small at first, she simply liked to please (EVERYONE). Soon it became a driving force and you could see it in her face when she did not make people happy. Soon it began to overwhelm her, at work, during play, at home. She began to sink deeper and deeper till her Dom ( a friend of Mine) took measures to begin showing her that it is foolish to worry about failure all the time. He set forth many tasks that basicly, set her up to fail. At each end of the task He was there to hold and comfort her and try to open her eyes that it is ok to not meet EVERY goal because we are all only human and no Human is perfect (FYI Never repeat these words to My belle I do not wish to confuse her about Master). Eventually she began to understand and cope and now is much happier. When something goes wrong or she does not fully meet her task (Not counting the ones her Dom gives her) she doesn't take it quite as hard. That is the forms I was referring to. Again I was not attempting to insult anyone in My previous post so do not take it that way.

chamberqueen -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/4/2009 5:38:34 AM)
I think a lot of it has to do with the mindset of the sub. If they can see it as a game and know that a "failure" isn't a true failure but simply reaching their limits, and if they are ok with that, then it's great. If they are one that is can't stand failure within themselves and tends to punish themselves much more strictly than their Master ever could, then they would not be the ideal candidate for this. It also has to do with the presentation, as mentioned before. Is it in good fun or does it leave them being afraid that they can never, ever be good enough? I think that the reason so many people seem to be against this type of play is because it would be so easy to abuse. Take a perfectionist slave and give her no way to win and you can crush her easily within a single session. On the other hand, take a slave with an "I'll show you" spirit and it could be a lot of fun for both parties.

gypsygrl -> RE: Erotic Torture Vs. Impossible Task (4/4/2009 12:02:56 PM)
quote: The Point here is do you see the difference between Setting up for Failure and Predicament Play. Intellectually, I can see the difference, but emotionally, I can't feel it. I don't do well with predicament play if there's no way out of the predicament. I think this is because I'm obedience driven and trive on doing what I'm told. If someone tells me to do something where failure is built in from the beginning, it creates cognitive dissonance and I either have to 'blame' myself or 'blame' them for the failure in an effort to resolve the dissonance. I have a pretty strong sense of self and am not likely to go on blaming myself for too long before coming 'round and starting to resent the other person for giving bad orders. Even if I'm aware that they're doing it as part of play, and I know they know they're giving an order that can't be followed, I start feeling like they're making fun of my obedience and don't respect it. Since 'obedience' is one of my strongest qualities as a submissive, this whole process is corrosive. Not all predicament play has to involve setting up for failure. Not every predicament is an impossible task. Sometimes Sir tells me not to move during an activity in which I'm very likely to move, then chastises me for moving (or does something similar). I don't especially get off on this, but I feel it reinforces my submission and since 'not moving' is within my power, I can deal with the 'failure' and accept the chastisement as something thats within his rights as my dominant. Some orders are harder to follow than others.

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