RE: Low Income Dominants. (Full Version)

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LTRsubNW -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 4:42:44 PM)

If a Domme can spell, put together thoughtful sentences, doesn't bastardize words on an ongoing basis and is personally clean in her appearance, I couldn't care less if she's broke and lives in the back of a '62 Belvedere.

If on the other hand, she lives in the finest mansion on a hill, carries herself like aristocracy, looks like a beauty queen, and never spends less than a thousand bucks on a pair of shoes but can't tell me who the last three Presidents were, thinks the headlines in newspapers actually have any correlation whatsoever to the story below them, or can't tell a noun from a verb...I'd be done with her before she could grab her coat.



DivaDuchess -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 6:01:14 PM)

It all depends on how the dynamics work between us.  I work outside the home and write, my SO receives SSD ... we do well with what we have.  Our slaves have never complained.  Plus I train slaves and that brings in some as well.  It all depends on your family structure.  At no time do we look for someone's cash.  Ever.  Our slaves are property ... We take care of them if they are 24/7, not the other way around.



MissTlTTYMilk -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 6:22:40 PM)

If i truly care for someone, income does not matter in the least.......Anyone can be there for someone during good times......but it the bad times that weed out the caring from the callous.  The world as it stands today, i could trust a person but not the economy.....much prefer a caring hand to hold to see me through than a check.



bandit25 -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 6:26:48 PM)

Well, all this sounds wonderful, but it's not so great when you're actually in that situation. 



Amaros -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 9:27:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Speaking as someone who probably qualifies as a LID, I can tell you that the size of my bank account has little to nothing to do with my sense of self esteem, or worth. There ARE people out there who look on material wealth as a kind of aphrodesiac, just as there are size queens, people who prefer other races to the exclusion of their own, and other forms of discrimination. Pity them. They close themselves off to some wonderful possibilities.


Well Said.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I think there are a number of "golden rules."  My favorite is the one from Hillel.  ""That which is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is commentary. Go and study it."


You're in good company.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I have to admit when I have been to events, on both sides of the atlantic, I have noticed a preponderance of expensive SUVs and European luxury cars and Harley Davidisons which are posing bikes, you ride Japanese if you are really into bikes. Which is why I've noted my surprise at the number of people on CM say money isn't important. Maybe it is just the people I mix with but there does seem to be a class/status thing going on. But then there is in every walk of life so why should BDSM be different?

WTF is that supposed to mean?


I guess he's not a Scottish Trials rider.


Not a rider so these are just observations, but I do know a Harley will take a dirt road better meaning pretty much - at all.

Race bikes are for masochists,  if anyone has ever ridden a crotch rocket coast to coast, they are locked into perment fetal position right now, with one hell of a neck cramp.

All the race bike owners I know take them out for short rides, and they sit on the porch most of the time - if they're not getting peeled off an underpass.

I don't know anybody with a Harley that can stand not to ride them, even the trash bikes inevitably end up getting dusty and bug spattered- so contrary to Meatcleavers opinion, I'd say Harley's are for people who ride, riceburners are for selecting out senseless teenagers.

Oh yeah, the topic - I made the decision while still with my ex that I was never going to go with a woman again who didn't have a job - I don't care if she quits it or keeps it after that - I just want to know that she knows and appreciates all the shit you have to go through to keep her in the style to which she's become accustomed.

To answer Ironbears question, it's hard to improve on bipolarber's answer - money is a fetish, an obsession with it is also indicitive of a pathological anti-social personality disorder - if you're young, and want to go to conventions and spend a lot of money on rubber or whatever, that's fine - if you can't treat other people with a reasonable amount respect and dignity because they have less shit than you do - assuming you have time in your busy schedule - you should be skinned and made into shoes, because you've become a reptile.

Ironically, the cure for Narcissism is close interpersonal relationships.



Homestead -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/26/2006 9:31:22 PM)

Altruism aside, I think the financial stability thing is about people not desiring to be burdened with someone who is going to be a perpetual child.



porcelaine -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/27/2006 1:28:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

In other words, is there a financial level in which we as a lifestyle turn our backs and try to forget that they exist?

What say you Dominants and what say you sub/slaves?



There is someone for everyone. Those that prefer someone of means will find that these people typically have their own preferences in mind and the two go hand in hand. Persons who are willing to do without or make material sacrifices will be comfortable with an individual that may have some financial challenges. We typically attract that which we seek.

I can only speak for myself and my current station in life. I love my lifestyle and I'm not willing to downgrade at present. The conveniences I have are well earned. I prefer a partner that is focused on financial independence and willing to exert a concerted effort towards that. This coincides with my entrepreneurial spirit and insures that my long hours and dedication won't be met with dismay. I apply the same tenets when looking for a partner that I employed when dating supposedly vanilla persons. The only caveat is that I also consider their capacity to engage in a meaningful and healthy power exchange.

I don't delude myself about the importance of money or the stress it can add to any relationship. It is my belief that both should have secure footing and be capable of supporting themselves without the benefit of their partner. While situations do arise and assistance may be needed from time to time. I would never have a partner that was wholly dependent on me financially. I try to avoid co-dependent scenarios as much as possible.

porcelaine



MasterNdorei -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/27/2006 7:13:38 AM)

Are you rich or do you just have money?




BlueHnS -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (8/27/2006 10:59:51 AM)

I'm not money oriented, that is to say, money is not a good bargaining chip to entice me into doing anything. I was siting on the Bay Bridge one morning years ago, in gridlock, in my overpriced little sports car. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. I was going to a job I hated, to make money I really didn't need, to impress people I really could care less about. So .. being me ... I called in .. told them I wouldn't be in .. ever again. Then went and picked up the little peoples and took a long drive down the coast.  
 
A couple years ago Pain called me from work and said he hated his job and wanted to quit. At this point in time he was the sole provider for our growing family. I dunno how things would have turned out had I said something different, but I went with my first thought. If you hate it then dont do it. To this day I'm not sure precisely what he was looking for from me, but he did say that just knowing that I wouldn't wig out on him if he up and quit his job made such a difference in his perspective.
 
It's about what individuals hold dear. Just the thought of stepping out onto the limb of the unknown, be it finances or new ways to play, or even getting on that damn ferris wheel when you're terrified of heights can stop some people dead in thier tracks.
 
It's how one reacts to those situations that defines them.
 
Personally I'd rather be with someone who is more into what I'm about than how many things we have, how many trips we can take etc ...
This is not to say that everyone with huge amounts of cashflow is like that. I know several wonderful people that have disgusting amounts of money who are very down to earth.
I also know several people who have what I refer to as "a little extra change in their pockets" who think they are all that and 2 bags of chips.
 
Money, or lack therof does not define an individual so far as I'm concerned. For me to associate with anyone who believes otherwise, the other individual will have to have some other very redeeming qualities lifestyle or no.



spankablecyn -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 1:36:28 PM)

As Domme / masochist that does live pay cheque to pay cheque with my Service Top....Time and attention is what is important to me.  Usually the sucessful ones are too busy. I would rather have as sub that is generally happy, has good hygene, a great sence of humor and time to spend with me rather than being stuck in business meetings. It is nice if they have enough to attend a munch or play party once a month.  One can be classy, have good manners and not be rich.



MistressSassy66 -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 2:31:34 PM)

I cant believe this thread is still going....

Did someone put the Energizer batteries in it?



Casie -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 2:44:12 PM)

I don't believe incom is that big of an issue. My dom is no where near rich. However we are secure and get by just fine, and have a little extra money for the some of the things we want. He is a factory worker as of now (in November he leaves for the navy). I'm a stay at home mom/ house wife. As long as a dom has good charater his finacial status shouldn't be of up most importance



Honeybee80 -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 2:47:27 PM)

Meatcleaver- I must object, certainly there are girls/ women who care only for money but there are plenty of us out there who could care less. I was raised in upper middle class suburbia, always had anything I wanted, and yes, I was spoiled. but I chose to marry a guy who had nothing. Not even a car or a highschool education. He is working hard to better himself now and someday in the future we will life a more comfortable life, but I'd rather live with him and be broke forever than have married a rich man I didn't love.



IronBear -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 2:53:01 PM)

No batteries....Bear Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



MistressSassy66 -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 2:55:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

No batteries....Bear Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




LOL....Even better than a bunny



urtoy -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 3:01:10 PM)

I've been relatively affluent. I've been homeless. And everything in between. Income and possessions do not particularly impress me, it's the person and shared values and goals that matter. 



onestandingstill -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 3:24:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissTlTTYMilk

If i truly care for someone, income does not matter in the least.......Anyone can be there for someone during good times......but it the bad times that weed out the caring from the callous.  The world as it stands today, i could trust a person but not the economy.....much prefer a caring hand to hold to see me through than a check.

Here Here I second this notion. As long as I'm warm, dry, loved and fed I'm right as rain. People who tie themselves up in material possesions instead of the things that count like friends spend so much energy on things that don't matter in the end.



MistressTexas -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 10:41:32 PM)

I dont think the numerical amount of income is worth so much as being willing and happy to contribute it to the household or to a common need.



IronBear -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/7/2006 11:50:09 PM)

Originally when I started this thread, I was thinking of one friend who had been about the fragmented local scene for a while. When illness and injury then a divorce stripped him of much of his wealth so he had to start again with a lower end income, he was almost over night ostracised by the crap community in Brisbane and their clique. He moved interstate and is well loved by his local community. Wy original issue was and is, should people on low incomes be shunned by a BDSM Communitry because they can not match the more affluent members. If so what is the point that a person, ever with many years of practical experience is tossed into the community refuse bin?

I think it is reasionable that if a seeker has a substantial or adequate income, that thgey will look for a pertner in a similar or better financial situation. (Too many workinmg ladies have had new partners bludging off them). However provided someone has a roof over their head, is managing to pay the bills , have a couple of meals a day and even afford meds iof required, and in otherwords shows fiscal responsibility, why shold they be shunted to one side. I know many who like me do at times have to perform a jugeling act inorder to buy food and pay bills even if that is at the cost of some meds. Point is with good communications with the creditors, they are usually able to work a payment arangement out.



Nimkii -> RE: Low Income Dominants. (9/8/2006 12:46:48 AM)

I would hope they wouldn't be tossed aside. I fit into that low income bracket. I do try and keep up with things and makes ends meet. May not have all the great new toys or the fancy things, but am still very happy.

Grizz



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