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RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 10:15:16 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I find all of these interesting.
In My world there were and
are many things that come
befor any of the things stated
here. But then again I come
from a line of nonconformists
and Alternate Lifestylers who
do not do things as they are
done here in todays world nor
look at Ascension into relationships
as a issue that most have a
say so in.

My Parents

( and yes I asked
them what They looked at in choosing
the Mate that They did, That was
a successful 27 year Love and Lust
befor His passing along with a Second
Dominant Mate We both took for Ours after being
together for 10 years who passed the same
year. )

* chose * My Mate based off of His Likeminded
attitude that aligned Himself next to My Fathers
and My Mothers in a BDSM Dominant world.
Next He had to be affluent financially
to that which My Parents felt was
equal to or could become equal
or better then Their Own wealth.
The next issue was if He could not
only become a Good Father but
if He was healthy enough to provide
not only a Strong Dominant Linage but
One that leaned to a Male side of deliverance.
Then the last Issue My Father said He
looked for was a Man who would respect
My Strenths and build apon those and concider
Me a worthy Woman to care for and hold beside
Him in all that He would go thru in life and not
dismiss such only striving with His Own deliverances.
So to say that the cornerstones to any
relationship needs to have the items listed
above to Me seems to be a bit novue because
the ones that worked for Me in My worlds were
the Ones mentioned. Everything else came with
time and Our comming to know One Another in
Our Commitment to One another. ( And that
commitment came BEFOR Either of Us knew One
another.)

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 21

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 11:02:37 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

Here's an idea I have long maintained, as stated so well by one of my favorite authors:

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

That is truly beautiful--and in itself so eloquently speaks to Communication, respect, trust and honesty.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 1/29/2006 11:03:46 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 22

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 11:12:30 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Chaingang:

quote:

***LOVE*** This should go with fanfare and little angels winging about as small hearts float on a swirling breeze.

Thanks for the smile.

I like to think of love as something that grows, usually over the course of a relationship, perhaps unexpectedly, not always with a firm set of instructions. I don't trust "love at first sight." I think it's more "lust at first sight". I guess I'm hoping for some sort of profound, drop-to-my-knees version of love. It's probably a silly girlish notion.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 23

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 11:18:32 AM

MHOO314

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Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Chaingang:

quote:

***LOVE*** This should go with fanfare and little angels winging about as small hearts float on a swirling breeze.

Thanks for the smile.

I like to think of love as something that grows, usually over the course of a relationship, perhaps unexpectedly, not always with a firm set of instructions. I don't trust "love at first sight." I think it's more "lust at first sight". I guess I'm hoping for some sort of profound, drop-to-my-knees version of love. It's probably a silly girlish notion.

Well so am I, but its more of a " he drops to his knees" version of love---smiles and that is a girlish notion, I'm sure--but I am still hoping.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 1/29/2006 11:36:38 AM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 24

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 12:01:26 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML
i still havent had an answer to MY questions~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are on record as having your own definitions for things - to which I say: "Faaaabulous!"

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 25

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 4:23:32 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I believe that the first relationship that one builds is with one self. The relationship we have with ourselves always impacts the relationship we have with others. If we have an unstable relationship with our self we are most likely going to have unstable relationships with others. The Core foundations of our relationship with our self will often be the very building blocks we will use to establish a strong relationship with others. I believe it is an individual exercise in establishing the foundation blocks that we utilize in our relationships and we can see these methods by looking at how we establish a relationship with our self.

It is my thought process that as an individual, I strive to be the best me I can be. I like to strive to be what I consider is a virtuous person. I consider a virtuous person is one that strives for abstract qualities of moral excellence that is manifested thru character strengths into demonstrated behaviors. The abstract qualities that I see are of greatest importance is courage, justice, humanity, temperance, transcendence and wisdom. There are countless strengths of character that speak to these abstract qualities to one degree or another. Some strengths are actual representations of more than just one of the qualities. By constantly working on building these character strengths and enhancing my personal self in my efforts to be a more virtuous person today than I was yesterday, I am also being more successful in demonstrating the behaviors that are representative of these strengths of character. Therefore, I look upon trust and respect as the results of continued efforts to be a person of integrity. Being a person of integrity is reflective of “Courage”. I also believe that trust and respect are also the result of other more fundamental character strengths such as forgiveness and modesty, as well as love and kindness. One can also gain respect and trust from their display of character strengths of prudence and self-control. What it is that gains a person’s trust and respect is an important measure of ones demonstrated behaviors that are reflective of the strengths of character that we admire and identify with, whatever they maybe.

So, a foundation of Character strengths is a foundation block to a more rewarding and fulfilling relationship with others. I would also add to this foundation is what I call the cycle of growth, self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-actualization. I see that we must also not only have strengths of character to have functional relationships, but we must also strive to be aware of our needs/wants and those of our partners. But awareness of these needs/wants is not enough, Acceptance of them is critical to opening up to each other. It’s the awareness and acceptance of each other for which we are that drives the self-actualization of those needs/wants, they bind us together in shared passion and/or interests. Character Strengths are the tools that give us the abilities to fulfill that which motivate us… our need/wants! Becoming aware and accepting what motivates our self and those we are in intimate relationships with will bind us together. This sharing of the inner part of us fulfils that deep seeded human need of belonging or relatedness with others. I can’t imagine a relationship growing without the deepening awareness of each others needs/wants and acceptance of the same.

The next foundation block I see is what I call is “reciprocity”. In essence this is the understanding and acceptance between those in the relationship that there is a state of being mutually dependent upon the influence of one another. This is not to say that we come dependent on one another, but we are interdependent in gaining a fulfilling life with each other. This is to say that I affect you… and you affect me! That you are significant to me in my life and I am to you! This is more than personal needs/wants derived from one self. But, these are the very needs/wants that derive because of the very functioning of the relationship. We each create these wants/needs from each other by the very essence of being in each other’s life.

The last block is Effective Interaction. I don’t prefer the term communication for most hear this term to mean to speak with one another. In my thought process, each time we are doing something we speak to the relationship. We send signals of its value and importance to us. These interactions do not need be direct, for often the indirect manners can be just as constructive or destructive to a relationship. It is not enough to just speak, we must be aware of the message we are saying to each other, in what we say and DO! It must be effective! We struggle to be effective in our interactions, we constantly learn from each other. We keep the flow of interactions going so that the proper perception is understood by our partner; the proper message being understood makes it effective.

I agree with the OP in that the foundations are intermingled like so many things in life. Building and strengthening one block and you will more than likely build and enhance in areas you least expected. But, allow one to suffer, it is like a cancer and it will spread to the whole body!

Just a few thoughts

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 26

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/29/2006 9:02:47 PM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
The next foundation block I see is what I call is “reciprocity”...We each create these wants/needs from each other by the very essence of being in each other’s life.

This is very useful. Absolutely.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
...I don’t prefer the term communication for most hear this term to mean to speak with one another. In my thought process, each time we are doing something we speak to the relationship. We send signals of its value and importance to us. These interactions do not need be direct, for often the indirect manners can be just as constructive or destructive to a relationship. It is not enough to just speak, we must be aware of the message we are saying to each other, in what we say and DO! It must be effective! We struggle to be effective in our interactions, we constantly learn from each other. We keep the flow of interactions going so that the proper perception is understood by our partner; the proper message being understood makes it effective.

I agree with the idea of exchanging information with one's whole being. Just for the sake of clarity here's the definition of communication (point being that it includes within it the idea of nonverbal interactions, although words are emphasized):

...

com·mu·ni·ca·tion. noun
Abbr. com., comm.

1. The act of communicating; transmission.
2. a. The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing, or behavior. b. Interpersonal rapport. c. communications (used with a sing. or pl. verb) The art and technique of using words effectively and with grace in imparting one's ideas.
3. Something communicated; a message.
4. communications A means of communicating, especially: a. A system, such as mail, telephone, or television, for sending and receiving messages. b. A network of routes for sending messages and transporting troops and supplies.
5. communications The technology employed in transmitting messages.

...

I can't remember who said it, but it has been said that "foreplay takes all day long." The point is not hours and hours of actual physical foreplay (although sometimes, why not?), but that people interact with each other all day long in such a way as to communicate the kinds of messages that are most conducive to the kinds of relations they wish to have with one another. People sometimes seem to think they can treat each other poorly all the time and still score off each other by the end of the day - and while technically maybe they can, it's better if people can act with greater overall harmony by matching their intentions with their deeds.

Good stuff, KnightofMists!

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 27

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/30/2006 7:36:20 AM

OscarHargraves

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Joined: 8/9/2005
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I can't argue with the logic here, but I think ATTITUDE has a lot to do with a relationship too.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

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Post #: 28

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/30/2006 11:19:29 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

The use of M.C. Esher's work to illustrate this point was brilliant on the part of the original poster. If you keep looking at it within the context of each post, you keep coming up with new meanings.

So, we have the four cornerstones mentioned: trust, respect, communication and honesty ... and like Esher's work they are all interrelated, and each is the stepping stone "up" towards the other. Then again, the illustration never really moves up, now does it?

Each cornerstone individually, is probably built on the other three. Can you really explore the meaning of any of the one, without discussing the meaning of the all?

KnightofMist actually brought this to mind while speaking of reciprocity within a relationship ... these four cornerstones must have a sort of symbiotic reciprocity towards each other.

Funny how a single thread can make you feel so nineteen, and so unprepaired. If the original poster planned this, he is clearly advanced beyond words ... as I have this sudden feeling of complete understanding of the "arrogance of youth" from another of his threads.

Imagine, foolish girl, to think she could have any the any, without all of the all.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 29

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/30/2006 11:31:51 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

I was just pointed in this direction. I would have jumped in sooner to explain Myself, but I have been playing video games all night..

The four cornerstones are essential criteria to maintain a relationship. It is true, though, as has been said, that using the four cornerstones in progression is imperative to build a solid relationship, whether a friendship, lovers, or business partners. If any one of them suffers, the relationship crumbles. This is why you can not go around justifying lying as "this one is a white lie, this one is a not so nice lie, this one I can get away with". They are all lies, and eventually you will get caught with your pants down. The honesty has suffered, trust has suffered and respect takes a dive. You can not expect a relationship to last under those conditions.

In other words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Use tact. Learn how to communicate openly without offending, and without having the need to lie. If you need to lie, it is you that is lacking... Lacking proper communication skills. Once you do these things, the mutual trust and respect will soon follow.

They develop in the following order and the first two must go hand in hand: communication & honesty --> trust --> respect. Once again, though, all must coexist for any type of relationship to be successful. Love plays no part in this. The relationship can be devoid of love, but these elements must remain.

Incidentally, someone said that you can love someone at breakfast, hate them at lunch, and love them at dinner. The true type of love never falters. True, someone might make you very angry to the point where you feel like punching something, but you still love them. You just do not happen to like them very much at that point in time. Your actual love for them, however, never changes.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 1/30/2006 11:42:45 PM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 30

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 12:43:10 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

In other words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Use tact. Learn how to communicate openly without offending, and without having the need to lie. If you need to lie, it is you that is lacking... Lacking proper communication skills. Once you do these things, the mutual trust and respect will soon follow.

Sir,

Am I correct in assuming that the passage I've quoted refers to most rather than all people? I'n sure you are aware that there some circumstances and occupational situations when is may be necessary to lie rather than jeopadise others or an opperation or even your own wellbein (including your life)? With most people, I agree that you can develop skill in not answering, but at times when in conversation with astute people, this becomes obvious and thus you are in a situation, not of your own choosing, where a plausable lie is not only expedient but necessary.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 31

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 3:37:11 AM

ZenrageTheKeeper

Posts: 237
Joined: 6/26/2005
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An accurate visual description, Chaingang. A more fluent one is required.

I find myself focusing upon Communication a bit moreso than the others. Communication is any direct or indirect interaction between two people. Everything we say, don't say, wear, don't wear, do, don't do says something about ourselves to another person. It is imperative that in order to be heard we must be clear and consise in our message and in the medium in which we relay that information. However, at the same time, we must make sure that the receiver has the ability to receive the entire message and a pre-existing level of knowledge to interpret the message accurately. Sometimes a possible lack of the proper knowledge on the receiver's part must be taken into account and the communicator must postpone the message until they can first relay the knowledge the receiver requires. Sometimes the communicator can not effectively send its message and must acquire the skills to use another form of communication.

Communication exists visually, audibly, physically, emotionally, vocally, non-vocally, gesturally, spiritually, socially, politically, economically, sexually.

Honesty is sometimes a little harder to come by. Choosing to be honest with another person is the easy part and can realistically be expected. Choosing to be honest with yourself is a little more difficult. Especially when the more scarier questions involving self-actualization are imposed upon oneself. How can you force yourself to listen if you don't want to know or face the answer?

Respect and Trust go hand-in-hand and grow in levels depending on the amount of Honesty and the level of Communcation that already exists. Once a higher level of respect and trust is obtained, that, in turn, leads to more open communication while the level of honesty in our interactions must remain constant. Not only is it important to reach those higher levels of trust and respect, but one must also work to maintain the level of trust already achieved by way of more communication at the same level of honesty.

Perhaps a more effective visual representation would be that of a tree, where the roots and the leaves represent communication, the trunk represents trust, the branches represent respect, the sunlight and rain represents honesty and the fruit represents the final product of the relationship.

_____________________________

If Men never thought with their penises, all you girls would still have cooties.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 32

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 6:03:33 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

In other words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Use tact. Learn how to communicate openly without offending, and without having the need to lie. If you need to lie, it is you that is lacking... Lacking proper communication skills. Once you do these things, the mutual trust and respect will soon follow.

Sir,

Am I correct in assuming that the passage I've quoted refers to most rather than all people? I'n sure you are aware that there some circumstances and occupational situations when is may be necessary to lie rather than jeopadise others or an opperation or even your own wellbein (including your life)? With most people, I agree that you can develop skill in not answering, but at times when in conversation with astute people, this becomes obvious and thus you are in a situation, not of your own choosing, where a plausable lie is not only expedient but necessary.

I can see times where lying, or rather protecting the truth, would be important, but I can not see them in interpersonal relationships. I could certainly understand it if you were an international spy or protecting trade secrets, though.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 33

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 7:35:25 AM

Chaingang

Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
Incidentally, someone said that you can love someone at breakfast, hate them at lunch, and love them at dinner. The true type of love never falters. True, someone might make you very angry to the point where you feel like punching something, but you still love them. You just do not happen to like them very much at that point in time. Your actual love for them, however, never changes.

I thought the same thing also. My usual conception of love is that once it arrives it never leaves you - ever. At the same time, I do not honor all of my possible feelings at the same time. Relationships do move on and while the feelings do linger their actual relevance to one's day to day interactions changes - absent the object of one's affection, the feelings remain but become unimportant.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenrageTheKeeper
However, at the same time, we must make sure that the receiver has the ability to receive the entire message and a pre-existing level of knowledge to interpret the message accurately.

Ah, the old transmitter/receiver analogy! I use this one all the time...

The fact is you sometimes have to actually fully describe your terms and what you mean by them with concrete examples. Absolutely. It's everything you leave out of conversations that leaves room for trouble by way of projection, misinterpretation, and misapplication of ideas.

"Language is the source of misunderstandings." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 34

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 8:29:48 AM

IsleofLite

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Joined: 1/6/2005
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I can escher you this is not the way I see accent ion, it rises far off the home field, adding distance every time we run to the next tower to look out and make sure everyone else sees our purity. The elements of accent ion are ours from the beginning, its the 'bricks' we place on top of them in our self consciousness that both bury them and lead us further from their source

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 35

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 9:21:36 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chaingang

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin
Incidentally, someone said that you can love someone at breakfast, hate them at lunch, and love them at dinner. The true type of love never falters. True, someone might make you very angry to the point where you feel like punching something, but you still love them. You just do not happen to like them very much at that point in time. Your actual love for them, however, never changes.

I thought the same thing also. My usual conception of love is that once it arrives it never leaves you - ever. At the same time, I do not honor all of my possible feelings at the same time. Relationships do move on and while the feelings do linger their actual relevance to one's day to day interactions changes - absent the object of one's affection, the feelings remain but become unimportant.

For certain. For example, I loved My ex-wife (and also another ex that once posted on this board) very much. Both of them have since gone their separate ways, but that has not stopped Me from loving them. I would still do anything for them. It does not however affect My being like it would have when we were together. Now the only love that matters to Me is that of My current bride.

< Message edited by SirKenin -- 1/31/2006 9:24:22 AM >

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to Chaingang)

Post #: 36

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 9:23:51 AM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IsleofLite

I can escher you this is not the way I see accent ion, it rises far off the home field, adding distance every time we run to the next tower to look out and make sure everyone else sees our purity. The elements of accent ion are ours from the beginning, its the 'bricks' we place on top of them in our self consciousness that both bury them and lead us further from their source

I put this through Babelfish and it came up empty handed. Would you mind translating this for Me? Either English or French would be great.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to IsleofLite)

Post #: 37

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 1/31/2006 10:36:27 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

In other words. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Use tact. Learn how to communicate openly without offending, and without having the need to lie. If you need to lie, it is you that is lacking... Lacking proper communication skills. Once you do these things, the mutual trust and respect will soon follow.

Sir,

Am I correct in assuming that the passage I've quoted refers to most rather than all people? I'n sure you are aware that there some circumstances and occupational situations when is may be necessary to lie rather than jeopadise others or an opperation or even your own wellbein (including your life)? With most people, I agree that you can develop skill in not answering, but at times when in conversation with astute people, this becomes obvious and thus you are in a situation, not of your own choosing, where a plausable lie is not only expedient but necessary.

I can see times where lying, or rather protecting the truth, would be important, but I can not see them in interpersonal relationships. I could certainly understand it if you were an international spy or protecting trade secrets, though.

Aye, but I was thinking of things less glamerous but just as practical. I have several friends and ex collegues who are know to spend time "undercover" for eother law inforcement agencies or security purposes. On the other hand it is also a bloody nucience when filling out application forms for lets say a rental home when you are expected to vive a resume of the last ten years accomodation and employment. If you dont come up with something believable even thoiugh it cant be verified, many assume you have been incarserated. I found that when I kept writting "Classified" that is was given strange looks and even was kept waiting till the boys in blue arrived to see if I wanted. I certainly wouldnt want a repeat wof the incudent when one Real Estate agent tried to run back ground checks and was visited from people in dark suits from a government agency who interrogated him.. I find that in cases like that a lie which is plausable is safer. regarding personal relationships, Neets was told from the start that there parts of my past that she should never ask me about. She was taken aside by a friendly Federal Copper who gave her the facts of life and these days she doesn't question if some one rings and asks to speak to me. We have absolute trust as far as things go.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 1/31/2006 10:37:04 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to SirKenin)

Post #: 38

RE: Ascension: The Four Cornerstones - 2/7/2006 7:51:55 AM

passionfirenmo

Posts: 38
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Friendship.

Respect.

Trust.

Friendship is the start, you become friends because there is some form of attraction. Usually some form of reasonable communication is formed at this time too.

Friendship usually entailes, as it is growing, the development of respect. If there is no respect, the friendship will not develop and will become just a casual aquaintance. Following Respect, trust can develop at what ever speed it does for your specific relationship and how trusting you are. All the rest such as compatability and improved communications will usually develop in time anyway as you get used to each other. Love is not really a factor for you can love someone madly at breakfast, hate them by lunch time and be wrapped in their arms in a loving manner by bed time. Love is flighty at the best of time. I liken it to whisps of smoke, fragile and easily disipated. Love generally has a healthy content of lust. Later the situation of falling in love, that gut wrenching, heart squeezing painfull feeling when yoiu are with the one you intend to spend eternity with is a different thig altogether and is totally illogocal. But I guess you all know what I'm talking about. For any who hasn't experienced falling in love I am sorry for you have missed something indescribable.

Beautifully written IronBear,,,,

Thank you,,

passion

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 39

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