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RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 7:57:02 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

Weight is an issue for some and not an issue for others. This guy contacting you to mention that you are fat........why is he even a blip on your radar? Someone who contacts me in a rude manner like that just simply gets deleted and I move on with my life never thinking of them again. I have a life and I live it. People like that make me roll my eyes and laugh. They show their maturity clearly. I have too many good people in my life to let someone like that affect me.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to MARAA)

Post #: 21

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 8:46:34 AM

roland23

Posts: 241
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

We all have our preferences and we should not castigate those who are not interested in BBWs. MANY female subs I have met are looking for a guy with the physique of a bodybuilder and that's not me. That's OK, they are allowed to have their preferences.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 22

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 9:02:58 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Weight matters to me in that it is a health issue. And, no woman is going to be sitting on her ass, eating bonbons, watching soap opera's, while I am out hiking and working in the yard.

So, she needs to be able to keep up with me. She probably cannot do that if she's, ohhhh sayyyyyyyyy.......5'2" and 300#. Nor will she likely be able to, if she is 5'6" and 100#.

I'm not skinny, I don't ask for skinny. I do demand healthy and reasonably fit. I also am demanding it of myself.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/6/2009 9:04:29 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MARAA)

Post #: 23

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 9:42:07 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I think a lot of men (not all bur many) a re weight a phobes. Like once with an ex i put on a really sexy bra and pantie set and asked him how do i look? he said you woud look better if you lost weight. I am a bit overweight Master loves me just as i am he is not asking me to lose weight ( i do happen to be losing weitht for ME) Since i want to lose weight Master is supporting me.

To the Op Just block this guy he seems like a loser who gets his jollies by putting other people down, he is not worth your time.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 24

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:26:31 AM

hopeful68

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline

It is important to let this kind of behavior slide off you. They are just insecure in themselves and have to lash out at someone they view as 'weaker'. Show them you are not weak and tell him EXACTLY what he can do with it (like shove it up your ass prick from hell.. LOL).. and move on.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 25

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 12:32:53 PM

savvanah

Posts: 6
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline

I may be repeating something others have said , so aploigies for that . but 90kg ..............not really a problem by best gal pal is 94kg and she is stunning (personally i would look like a squat penguin at that weight but then im a bit short) . only thing i dont get is why do you care ? did you know this person and did they matter to you ? if not who gives two hoots . anyone who contacts me is not a real person to me until i get to know them and i assume its the same for most folk , wich is why when i get dumbbum mail like that it matters not . so enjoy yourself keep up the gym work (its horrid but its good for you) and get on with you time here , talk to people but remember that opiions of others dont count unless those people count to you .

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 26

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 9:57:40 PM

atypicalsub

Posts: 284
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: an atypical sub
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

You've just been introduced to a subspecies of Dominant called Dominus Loserus Assholus. The Assholus will intentionally message someone they see as "weak"...

Here! Here! Someone who has real self confidence will never take this route. If they seek out someone based on what they see as a flaw it is because they themself lack self esteem. I would highly recomend avoiding anyone who displays this behavior as there is a far greater chance of them becoming abusive if you don't act self-loathing enough to prop up their fragile self image.

_____________________________

Polyamorous, solitary eclectic pagan, pansexual slut, and personal pet of MistressYes

"Do not do anything you are ashamed of, and don't be ashamed of anything you do"
(although I'm sure my bio-family wishes I did less and was ashamed of more)

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 27

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 10:09:59 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Walls. You need walls.

If your spouse or SO says you're fat, that will hurt because this is a person that you've shared with and who owns a part of you. If someone you've never met contacts you just for the purpose of insulting you... delete, block, move on.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to atypicalsub)

Post #: 28

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:05:10 PM

MARAA

Posts: 38
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline

I was just amazed there was another one so fast,in this environment since as I said I havent experienced so fast in vanilla world,so to speak. As I said,and wondered over it, since so many. Maybe Im unlucky but I dont think so,bumping in Dom after Dom that are like that so must be some truth in they seak us out.
And no, 90 kg sits very good at me actually,well I dont care, but I was surprised and wanted to hear you out. It really surprises me so many.. as I said,I have never ever experienced it so much outside. Well my last picked at me sneaking instead and when I thought all was fine,he used it against me and it all blew up in my face. But youre right, they do have low selfesteem,thank you for pointing that out. But its so true,and logical. I have good selfesteem because I know you have to accept yourself. Not a day goes without men telling me how good I look,so its not really that. But maybe some have an idealimage of a sub in their heads,and if you happen to look good,buuuut- then they sort of..try. maybe its that too. I dont know. sigh.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 29

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:06:51 PM

MARAA

Posts: 38
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline

Something else that was strange, he was living far away in Canada,and told me his last sub were from Russia! and that she had to leave him because of visa probs.. but hello I just say.. you dont drop your sub,just because of that. You wait,til they can come again and if you marry things are fine. what kind of crap is that to tell.

(in reply to MARAA)

Post #: 30

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:21:06 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
You've just been introduced to a subspecies of Dominant called Dominus Loserus Assholus.
The best way to deal with an Assholus is rapid and liberal use of the "delete" and "block" buttons.

Sounds like they're from an ugly prickly plant family.

quote:

MARAA
I do exersise four times a week and eat practically only salad and chicken.. but I just got constatated low thyroides. My weight,is not a issue,for me,I have already lost ten pounds. But I do have to struggle more than ordinary but that to say,I am and will always be a robust person etc. 90 kg(eu) sounds more bad,than it looks,many dont believe me.

Part of the reason you may be attracting the creeps emailing you, may be, because you sound like your weight is an issue for you, and one for which you need to apologize.
While it's a good idea to continue doing what you need to do to feel and think healthy, it's more important to refuse abusive behavior from insecure phuckers who want to make you feel like your weight is what makes you a human being worthy of love and respect. I don't know what type of person you are, but whether you are lovable or not, ought not be connected to your being 90kg. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 31

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:21:44 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

We all have our preferences and we should not castigate those who are not interested in BBWs.

No one is being castigated for their preferences here. That said, preferences can be expressed in a number of ways. It's very much one thing to tell someone who contacts you, "Sorry, not interested", quite another to start flinging insults like "fatty" and such. Contacting someone for the express purpose of insulting them, however, is beyond the pale IMO. That isn't having a preference, it's being an asshole.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to roland23)

Post #: 32

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/6/2009 11:29:06 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Sounds like they're from an ugly prickly plant family.

Yep, plenty ugly and quite pricky.... oops, prickLy"

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 33

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/7/2009 3:57:16 AM

MARAA

Posts: 38
Joined: 2/27/2009
Status: offline

Hey, I dont mention a single word about my weight in my profile other than what is standard informations,and I havent even replied to that jerk,and the other ones accepted me without any probs at all,not even mentioning it since it went far long time and then,boom. SO,making me responsible for any others behaviour is a bit far out.
I only take responsibility for mine and my own weight and thats the reason why Im trying to be healthy. But it does NOT mean that Im not comfortable as I am,right now,because I am. Two different things.
Yes, I agree with you,WyldHrt.. and also,if you suddenly change your mind,while you have accepted the person as they ARE from first moment off. And it is a big difference in saying ´oh yes,I accept you´and together agree for weightloss for some reasons whatever, but then act like crazy,when probs arise and be obsessed about it,thats just as wrong. Those assh- that contact ppl and want a functioning relation buildt on that.. I mean come on, the whole fundation is cracky before it even start. I dont know what theyre thinking nor either those that suddenly makes it an issue,far in a relation. But I feel just as sorry for them that have opposite prob or some handicap etc.. its the same,if you dont ridicule them why the larger ppl then. makes no sence.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 34

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/7/2009 11:02:28 AM

porcelain26

Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

Most men know that weight is a sensitive issue for any woman...I think the particular jerk(s) who messaged you were simply upset by your lack of response to their particular brand of dominance, and in order to make themselves feel better, attacked what they figured would be an easy target. It's unfortunately, but it happens.

As far as being weight obsessed, I'd say I'm pretty darn close (and I'm not considering this to be a good thing), and most people who know me, know that my weight is an exceptionally difficult topic/task for me. That said, I've been lucky enough to meet an extremely small group of men who berated me for my size (I think MAYBE 1 or 2 at the most). The majority of those I've dealt with have been supportive of my efforts to improve my health, and done a fantastic impression of a professional cheerleading squad.

I don't go out looking for people who 'like fat'; I go out looking for people who like me. If they don't like my body, that's fine...I don't like it either. But I'm a lot more than a fat belly and a big ass. If someone else can't see that, that's they're problem...not mine. When I'm looking at people, I see a lot more than just their biceps, stomachs, or legs - I expect the same from those I associate with.

(in reply to MARAA)

Post #: 35

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/8/2009 9:30:19 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

For once I can't be bothered to read through replies ..but Dear God........ Are you REALLY the age in your profile?

Sometimes, just now and then ............. I lose the will to live. She ain't worth the fuss

Oh , I forgot the *lol*...

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 36

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/8/2009 8:15:36 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

Maraa,

Perhaps you are having these replies because you bring the topic up on the board and so the assholes know it is an issue. I suggest hitting delete and not worrying about it. There are those that are not attracted to heavier women, there are those that are attracted to large women and then there are those for whom attraction is not a specific body type. I am much heavier than you are and have never had a problem finding a lover, but I don't wonder what others think about my weight because I don't care.

Take care

(in reply to RealSub58)

Post #: 37

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/8/2009 8:31:47 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

I have trouble understanding your post, sorry. I think you're asking if weight is an issue.

Gee, d'ya think? Seeing as how she wrote " Is weight really an issue for so many?" and all...

More important than what "percentage of people find fat sexy" is what percentage of men see women as anything more than a visual object. That number is tragically low. As you so well illustrate in your post, many men are hyper-focused on appearance, and many also seem to feel entitled to perfection in a mate, when they themselves have so little to offer.

BRAVO!!!!! Cuddly you hit the nail right on the head! The man in my life looks WAY past my looks, although i will say he adores them, and looks into my soul. As it should be!

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to CuddlyCreative)

Post #: 38

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/9/2009 10:48:18 AM

kareeza

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/29/2009
Status: offline

I have weighed 147 pounds to 310 and its all about the attitude...
if someone messages me as was recent "you need a job testing mattresses" I can
1) ignore 2) react 3) respond 4) not be bothered.... there are 5 billion ppl on teh earth why would I care if some asshole thinks I am an elephant and gets off on telling me....I know how I look and its fan fuckin tastic...at ANY weight..
and I never have a problem with men...DOMs..bf/ss....... its how I present ...... feel..
I may have a flesh apron but by god I am erotic......oops theres a fat roll..
but by god I make him scream for more....

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)

Post #: 39

RE: is weight an obsession? - 4/9/2009 11:03:29 AM

VeryNastyDom

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline

Women (and men) come in all shapes and sizes. Sexual attraction plays a big role here, but not the only role. I have been with women who filled the range from skinny, to average, to chubby, to fat and each had something to offer me as a person. Once a person reaches the morbidly obese stage, I am sufficiently unattracted that I will not pursue them but I don't think it necessary to humiliate them or make them feel bad - there are just not my type.

I would be prefectly willing to accept a 90 kilo woman who came with a lovely mind and personality. Trim women are much easier to find than those who have the right personality. Don't sell yourself short.

I do wish that everybody, Dom or sub, would fill in the weight box on the profile. When age or weight or anything else is left blank, it makes you wonder. It is not like you are going to keep it a secret forever (and I will allow ladies to shave 10-20 lbs if their ego requires it, a gentleman never complains about such things).

< Message edited by VeryNastyDom -- 4/9/2009 11:07:19 AM >

(in reply to kareeza)

Post #: 40

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