give up

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windy135 -> give up (1/28/2006 5:36:30 PM)
Does anyone else ever just feel like they hit bottom. I go on dates in vanilla relationships and I have a fun time, enjoy the company. Then an old Dom peaks into my life. This was one of my first experiences not always a good one. Just based on sexual things. Anyhow now that he has came about again, I realize how I feel being in that situation and I miss it. I think hard about going back to him just for a moments time. Knowing the trust isn't there I don't , but I truely want to. I'm ready to give up!!

seaturtle50 -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 5:49:46 PM)
Yes, but then i realize that they are only feelings, and then i use my thoughts to tell myself "no." i need to remember these two things at all times 1) i am not willing ... to settle for less than i truly desire (would prefer to be alone) 2) any liaison has potential to lead to years of relationship ... so i need to also pay attention to what and with whom i begin. Could be years of happiness (or reasonably content even - "workable" is most important to me), or years of pain suffering and misery (not the "good" kind) Hang in there, please! Be true to yourself. st50

DelRey -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 6:04:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seaturtle50 Yes, but then i realize that they are only feelings, and then i use my thoughts to tell myself "no." I got new for you, "Feelings are NEVER wrong" they may be misinterpreted but they are Never wrong.

IceyOne -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 6:07:22 PM)
Windy, never settle for less than what you feel you deserve.

fergus -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 6:13:51 PM)
with SOOOO many men out there, both vanilla and BDSM oriented ... sally forth and find what it is that you seek. sure, many will not be so good, and there will be obstacles in your path, but fear not, for providence has vouchsafed your reward. fergus

seaturtle50 -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 6:30:39 PM)
quote: I got new for you, "Feelings are NEVER wrong" they may be misinterpreted but they are Never wrong DelRey, Do you see somewhere in my post where i said feelings are wrong? st50

daredevil865 -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 6:45:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windy135 Does anyone else ever just feel like they hit bottom. I go on dates in vanilla relationships and I have a fun time, enjoy the company. Then an old Dom peaks into my life. This was one of my first experiences not always a good one. Just based on sexual things. Anyhow now that he has came about again, I realize how I feel being in that situation and I miss it. I think hard about going back to him just for a moments time. Knowing the trust isn't there I don't , but I truely want to. I'm ready to give up!! everyone at some point goes through the same thing...trying to find the right one...then as luck has it an old "not right" one reenters the scene...hang in there...stick to your convictions...things will work out...

IronBear -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 7:59:09 PM)
Follow your "Gut Feeling". I've lost track of the times when I went against my gut feeling and wound up to my ears in deep shyte and often enough at high risk, all because I followed my mind. When I've followed my Gut Feeling even against the ods I have come through ok and alive (much to my suprise at times). The Gut feeling is a Primal Instinct similar to that which makes wild animals avoid being caught mostly. It warns them of probable danger. Primitave Man used it and tribal pleople today living away from the crap if civilization have this instinct ~ Gut Feeling, sixth sence, call it what you will.

windy135 -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 9:07:06 PM)
I want to thank everyone for their inspiring advice. Tonight I went and bought a movie. A sappy movie that turns on life and tries to cut it open trying to find what it is its all about. I realized that this is a therapy for me. Watching these movies has been a type of therapy I’ve been using for years. Movies with people looking deep into their own lives and figuring out this very simple answer. Everyone’s answer is different. But it helps me. It helps me do a body check and realize I’m still alive. Who knows maybe I’m running on a tangent but my therapy helped tonight. So many times do we find ourselves alone and sometimes the easy answer is to latch ourselves on whatever it is that passes us by. I for one was reminded that I’m better than that. Thanks again!

seaturtle50 -> RE: give up (1/28/2006 10:20:31 PM)
quote: So many times do we find ourselves alone and sometimes the easy answer is to latch ourselves on whatever it is that passes us by. I for one was reminded that I’m better than that. Thanks again ! That, I'm sayin! [;)] [;)] [;)]

FangsNfeet -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 12:20:39 AM)
Usually, old flames are best where you left them. Put Out and burried in your past. If he wasn't the Dom you where looking for then, what makes you think things are different this time? There's nothing wrong with being true to yourself. However, that does not leave you having to stuck with someone from your past. I'm sure there are more Doms/Sadist out there who can give you more/all of what you need. This includes the trust that your X couldn't give you. So don't give up to him. But also don't give up to the vanilla guys either. It seems you now know what you want. It's best to look and wait for that.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 7:21:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windy135 Does anyone else ever just feel like they hit bottom. I go on dates in vanilla relationships and I have a fun time, enjoy the company. Then an old Dom peaks into my life. This was one of my first experiences not always a good one. Just based on sexual things. Anyhow now that he has came about again, I realize how I feel being in that situation and I miss it. I think hard about going back to him just for a moments time. Knowing the trust isn't there I don't , but I truely want to. I'm ready to give up!! Just pump Cher's "Do you believe in life after love?" from your speakers 24/7 until you snap out of it. Everyone feels that way. If you can't be firm in your judgement here, how can you assure yourself that you will build a strong relationship with someone in the future? Act on security, not fear.

Sunshine119 -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 7:46:39 AM)
It's better to be alone than wish you were.

IrishMist -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 7:56:33 AM)
Hang in there Windy, and never...NEVER settle...

MstrssPassion -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 7:58:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunshine119 It's better to be alone than wish you were. Amen to that!!

MHOO314 -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 8:12:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion quote: ORIGINAL: Sunshine119 It's better to be alone than wish you were. Amen to that!! I second that one!

la90066 -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 8:37:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: windy135 Does anyone else ever just feel like they hit bottom. Sure... I "hit bottom" all the time -- usually with a nice, wide leather strap!!! [:D] hee hee hee But seriously, whatever you're feeling/experiencing, it'll pass.

windy135 -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 3:56:02 PM)
Thanks everyone, I was having a hard time listening to my brain and not what's in my pants. Sadly girls have those issues also. Someone emailed and wanted to know what my movie for therapy was.. : Garden State Be happy to know I feel better today, along with sexual desires the feeling of being needed as a submissive came back and I missed that. I feel much better today :)

classykindasassy -> RE: give up (1/29/2006 5:28:08 PM)
You have to get clear on what you want and take a stand for it. If you decide to have a momentary fling, then you just say to yourself the truth of what you are doing. It doesn't have to derail you unless you are going against yourself truly. A few weeks back at a lifestyle group meeting, the topic of discussion was "Now that you live the lifestyle, could you go back/settle for vanilla?" Most of the people in that room are clear that they so desire the lifestyle that they could not be happy settling. They are not trying to convert vanilla folk, but looking inside the community where what they want exists. If they could go either way, I doubt they'd have been in the meeting. It might help you to get clear on whether you can really be happy with a vanilla man who can't give you what your soul craves. Or, it may not be that way for you. I know I can't go back, and I'm happy to have seen the truth for myself. It is so much less complicated.

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