wallbanger
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/26/2008
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i had experience with this once, it was to me the hardest thing to do.
i had non question if i had been told to serve (i'm talking service not sexual service) a Dom/Domme, i would have done it, i have done it.
In my case, the command to serve a fellow submissive was difficult. the one i was commanded to take care of had damaged herself on purpose, she had been seeking attention and because she didn't get it, she hurt herself and that made it impossible for her to serve our Dom. so, i already had an attitude about her actions but i kept it inside, my Dom recognized that i did not approve and knew also that what the girl was doing was seeking His personal attention. So, instead He commanded me to take care of her.
i brought her food and water, and she whined that she was being ignored. she could not use her hands so i had to spoon feed her and lift the cup. she complained between each bite, to fast, to slow, not enough, to cold, not flavored enough. i remained silent and tried to do all that i could to meet her needs. in my mind, He had set her over me as a Domme, and i was to serve her as such to her needs.
i think He found amusement in the struggle He saw going on inside me to try and reconcile in my actions that she was non longer an equal. He was often a sadist in His ways.....i questioned His wisdom about rewarding her with my service.... (bah how self important i was to think of my service as a precious gift, rather than a way to meet the needs of Another)
it was a very horrible experience for me, i think i could have at the time cared expertly if she had just been injured through non fault of her own, i would have nurtured her and brought her back to health with joy to do so, in fact probably would have begged to be permited to do such. but i had an attitude you see, we both did, and He corrected both attitudes at the same time. i about choked on my own anger when i addressed her as a Mistress rather than a submissive.
What i learned from it was more about myself, my reasons for serving A/another, my self pride ("pride comes before a fall"), my self value verses my value in His eyes. i learned humility.
And until i learned that, He did not release me from her service.
Later when she returned to His service as well, she told me that accepting help from me, "His pet, His pretty, His first, His wife" , was awlful for her and that she out of jealousy and anger was doing things to push me to fight with her, so that He would then have His attention. she said that she almost died when i set her above myself, and called her a Mistress, and served her as such. she also learned to be humbled. but she also learned that He takes care of what belongs to Him. He would not be topped from the bottom and that He watched, knew, dealt with things in His own way, His own timing, with His own agenda.
as His first, i knew that i could not do everything myself, and it was a joy to have others working "beside" me to please Him, i never concidered them as below me, but as an equal, with the same agenda, the same purpose, i concidered that person next to me to be precious, valuable and kind. i definately appreciated them and their service.
i would ask you to check your motives, if it is to feel subjected, or lowered than the low, that's not a good enough motive, it should never be taken on as a project to be humilate yourself.
good luck to you and thank you for allowing me to voice my point of view
_____________________________
~better in blue~~
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