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RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:17:18 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I want a Sign Iron Bear.

I want mine to say

Mostly a Dick with some redeaming qualities.

Imagin how popular I'll be then.

Steel

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RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:23:27 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		They don't?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Hookers carry a flashing sign advertising their wares,  

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:25:28 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I think in any situation where people are making contacts and trying to establish relationship you have players and fakers and lightweights and you have real people.

I've met several "real" people from here. One is collared to me. One will be collared to me next weekend. The others...I've met and we've all agreed, it was fun but you're not meant to be ours, you're a good friend and fun to play with but not meant to be ours, etc.

Trust but verify, and meet early, is my advice.

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RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:35:23 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		I'm here to enjoy myself ...is that serious? Does it say somewhere when you sign up that you must seriously look for a mate?

I am always polite and I answer every serious inquiry but I am not worrying about finding my life mate. If it happens great…if not I’ll still have fun.

I think if this is your only area to find serious mates then you may have trouble.

But I do understand your post…especially if someone is purposely misrepresenting themselves. Myself I take every thing on this site with a grain of salt. I expect nothing of people and therefore cannot be disappointed….and with personal honesty it is not my fault if I disappoint someone else.

Butch

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:38:46 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I want one too Steel.  I want mine to say The Polite, Mannerly Bitch!...lol.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:44:19 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		This is Collarme, not E-bay or Walmart. You're dealing with people, not product descriptions or labels. You need to give people a chance, take the time to get to know people, but above all use your noggin if you're going to get anywhere.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:56:51 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

Well you could try meeting people in the real world...then if your not sure if they are real or not, you can just grab their crotch and see.


hey-hey...that's the kind of stiff...i mean stuff i do...

seriously OP, create ur own personal test to filter out folks... like some have said, it takes time.
and maybe dont use the word "player"; it may have the connotation that u r not serious...(my opinion)
i call the fakers "players"...


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RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 7:53:28 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Hmmm, I've been wanting to post something on this topic in regards to the great chorus of 'fakes & frauds & liars, oh my', & this thread has added to the impetus . . .. .

This may be an unpleasant truth but it's very difficult to con anyone but the greedy . . . . .

Example: l'affaire Madoff. Yes, many may feel sympathetic for all of Bernie Madoff's victims, but Bernie's little club of insiders made themselves vulnerable when they let their greed exceed their sense & / or math & reasoning skills . . . . . .

OP, I'll be bluntly, even savagely honest with you, if you can take it . . . . . I put on my potential-submissive hat when I looked at your profile & this is what I saw:

(a) You're clearly not looking for me or anyone like me (older, fatter, switchier, etc), so my first response is: 'why should I care?' In fact, if I was in more of an acting-out-my-inner-asshole mode your profile is just the kind I'd seek to torment since it looks like you're 'greedy' & ripe for the con . . . . .

(b) You have virtually nothing on your profile that suggests anything about you yourself being a 'real person' . .. . . To my eyes, your profile looks like a stereotypical fantasy-wanker profile, all kink & no person . . . . . .

I would tend to interpret what you have presented in your profile as 'old fat ugly guy with darn little prospects of real relationship seeks to chase fantasy of young pretty fit slave girls'. & I'd wonder things like: does this person think that kinky = desperate? Or stupid? Does this person have a clue how vanilla dating works, much less the greater amount of vanilla relationship skills necessary to successfully have a kinky relationship work?

I don't chase young, fit, attractive women, so I suspect I miss out on the many opportunities to be conned by those pretending-to & / or capitalizing-on being young-fit-attractive-female, but I can discern when someone is batting way out of their league, as seems to be the case for an awful lot of the whiners of 'fakes & frauds & liars, oh my' . . . .

Personally, I prefer to let taller, younger, fitter, & more attractive men chase me -- but I'm very patient about how that shakes out . . . . lol . . . .

& yes, I get tons & tons of 'too good to be true' ostensibly young-pretty-fit-men approach me here all the time . . .. I apply my many routine filters & they drop out, fast . . . . . . It's all just part of the process . . . . . ..

Oh, & I'm here for the process, not the goal . ... lol

Best,
That Most Gigantic of Giant Asshole Demons, Kia

(People like me better when I'm not being serious, for the record . . .. . lol)

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 4/10/2009 8:00:11 PM >

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RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 10:19:37 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What do others feel about this? Am I alone?


The day Wal-Mart started selling com-pu-ters, that was it. And no, you can't be the internet dating cop.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 12:18:00 AM   
twosidesonecoin


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Only been around since 1/09????? LOL well well well you want a lot in a short amount of time! LOL

Sorry had to get that out. It took me quite awhile to find the perfect person for me. I met some great people before I met MY ONE, so enjoy yourself, relax... get to know people. Eventually, you'll find what you are looking for!!!!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 12:23:44 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BigGuy44

I have been on site for some time now and am a serious player who is looking for a sub. However I am astonished to find how many non-serious people seem to be lurking posing as looking for partners. There are a fair number of men posing as female subs. I regularly read of others complaining of similar experiences and even of stolen identities and photos. I understand that some will get their kicks from behaving like this and have no problem in those who simply want to brat or pretend to be serious. I wonder however if there is a need (and a method) of separating serious players from those who are not. For me, these people could perhaps use the chatrooms for their activities and leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners. Alternatively a new area could be established where bratting and playing games was the order of the day.

What do others feel about this? Am I alone?

Big Guy


Welcome to the Internet Big Guy,

"Internet" says it all.

Everyone can sit behind a computer, pretending
to be anything, and everything. Everywhere you go
there are liars, frauds wankers, people who are
only interested in themselves.
So this hasn't gotto go with D/s, and they aren't
pushed into the corner of chat, because I'm very
Real Honest, and own a chatroom, and yes
I've met loads of wankers, and liars and frauds,
but in between them, there are a few Real pearls,
and yes, it's a needle in a haysteck, but it's worth
seeking for !!!

So I wish you a good huntingtrip through this jungle called D/s !

Happy Easter.


GoddezzT`



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RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 2:15:18 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		FR

Well see I am so serious I wouldnt even want to be with someone who says that they are looking for a 'serious player'

Sorry but I dont know what the problem is, I have never had any experience of 'fakes' I have met plenty of people who dont toot my horn but not fake people

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 6:34:28 AM   
MarsBonfire


Posts: 1034
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		Rule #1: Don't make CM your only means of finding other people. Otherwise you will be led on, stood up, and otherwise made to feel miserable. It's not just CM, either. NOTHING ONLINE CAN BE TRUSTED. It's as simple as that. If you want to make friends and chat, it's great. Just don't have high expectations of finding "the one" here.

RULE #2: Get involved in your local community. Ferret out the local munches and other BDSM groups in your area. You will cut weeks and weeks of wasted emails out of the equasion, just by talking to someone else... who already lives within driving distance of you...face to face. You can also talk to their friends, and find out if they have a good rep or not... at the same time, they can be checking you out. At best, you'll find someone else to play with... maybe even start a relationship with... (and at worst, you will have blown an evening at some bistro eating second rate Denny's style food. Which still beats a night of TV, if you ask me.)

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 8:38:10 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

I want a Sign Iron Bear.

I want mine to say

Mostly a Dick with some redeaming qualities.

Imagin how popular I'll be then.

Steel



Steel of Utah
Mostly a Dick with some redeeming qualities!


There ya go mate just copy and enlarge, mount and wear or use as a bumper sticker..



quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

They don't?
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Hookers carry a flashing sign advertising their wares,  



Ahhh No at least not where I live else the boys in blue would have them in the cells pronto..


quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

I want one too Steel.  I want mine to say The Polite, Mannerly Bitch!...lol.


Domin8tingUrDrmz
The Polite, Mannerly Bitch!
There you go Lass, just copy and enlarge, mount and wear or use as a bumper sticker



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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 11:20:36 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

Sorry to bust your bubble but you can have all the sections you want and they will still go where they want and play their games. 

There is no way to determine who is "serious" and who isn't.  They are all serious about what "they" want and don't really care who they step on to get it. 

You just have to do the best that you can, talk to them and learn as much as possible, and more importantly "meet" as soon as possible.   A lot will talk a good game up until time to meet then all of a sudden they go "poof", so meet as soon as you can and if they are playing their game, at least you won't waste a whole lot of time on them.

It's hard, trust me I know.  All I can say is hang in there...maybe one day....


Very true..I've seen a lot of selfish behavior and consequently have become a bit cynical as of late. I still have hope that one day I'll find that "one true slave" though!

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 11:25:06 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		I'm guessing, though, that by "serious" you mean "people who actually tell the truth on their profiles and when they communicate." Nothing wrong with looking for play and being honest about it...but it's simply juvenile for people to start yelling "you fake!" just because you might not be into them.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 11:46:47 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Thank you very much kind sir, I feel so validated and REAL now!...lol

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 12:02:17 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Fake.. I've been known to be a fake.  When I didn't send pictures... when I didn't demand cam play or come in swinging a whip with all my dominant glory or when I decided someone was wanting to use me for online games.

No one has called me fake in person.  Talk to me for half an hour and you will see I am a dominant without a sign, whip, cam, fine dominant wear, extreme force in any way and a certain expression on my face.

So being called a fake can be a compliment in a way.  It lets me know who the person is without a doubt, proves to wankers I am a waste of time and with them, I am proud of my fake status.  So what they intend to insult brings me laughter and a compliment!  Yes, I just used them.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 12:06:25 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was called a fake because I, wouldn't give my full name after half a dozen emails, because I wouldn't give her my personal phone number, because I don't have dozens of photos dressed in fetish wear, because I wouldn't call when she hoped I would even though I did call when I promised, because I put my family first, because I wasn't interested in phone sex............on and on.

After I told her to back off, the crazy wacked out emails I received made me VERY glad I was not a real domme to her. Very very glad.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How many are serious? - 4/11/2009 12:17:12 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I was called a fake when I told my real location..beat that

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Profile   Post #: 40
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