RE: Life Baggage

RE: Life Baggage (Full Version)

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newflowers -> RE: Life Baggage (1/29/2006 8:21:55 PM)
quote: I am joking around, but the fact is, "baggage"...our experiences and the stuff that we carry with us...makes us who we are. i could not agree more, and, in fact, just had this discussion with someone this weekend. sometimes, it seems as if one's past and all of the real or imagined terribles parts of it are a barrier. But it is those parts that make us the person we are at this moment. It is the person we are that the other finds attractive and worthy. The past, even the parts that come with us into the present, make us who we are, to negate that is to not accept all of yourself. One must be upfront about the past - not in terms of spelling out all of the whys and wherefors, but just saying that it is there - the particulars will come out in due time. It is reasonable that one adult entering into a relationship with another adult should expect that there are past experiences and issues - some resolved some not - to expect otherwise is unreasonable and unrealistic. A blank slate would be like trying to have a relationship with - i can't even say child as they have imprint and prior experiences and definate likes and dislikes - maybe with a pupppy. You are who you are. You developed into this person, in large part, because of the experiences of your past. Sometimes, the past comes with us into the present. If you have self-awareness and self-knowledge, you should be free to be you and seek your desires and needs. If you should meet someone who has a problem with you as you are, then that person is not for you. newflowers

cltcdrd -> RE: Life Baggage (1/29/2006 8:51:01 PM)
quote: We should stay out of relationships until our lives are reasonably secure and stable. Until we have good footing for what we want and what we're into. I agree with LuckyAlbatross here. Unless your own life is stable and secure, you should not try a relationship with someone.

Tapestry -> RE: Life Baggage (1/29/2006 9:24:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cltcdrd quote: We should stay out of relationships until our lives are reasonably secure and stable. Until we have good footing for what we want and what we're into. I agree with LuckyAlbatross here. Unless your own life is stable and secure, you should not try a relationship with someone. I want to add my 2 cents here as well. I think a relationship entered into before you have resolved certain areas of your life is doomed to failure. That being said, I also acknowledge that every person is different, and there are no rules that apply to everyone. You and a potential partner must do what is best for you. Personally, I know that in order for me to be a successful part of a relationship, I needed to resolve my dependance issues and prove to myself that I didn't NEED a man to take care of me, emotionally, physically, mentally, or financially. And for the past few years, after the end of my abusive 20 year marriage, I very slowly learned how to do just that. I have provided for myself and my teenage child all by myself, with no man to help in any way. Did I enjoy this? Hell no. Was it critically important that I prove to myself that I could? Hell yes. And now, in a relationship with my beloved Master, i know that i choose to submit myself to Him, rather than having no choice. It is such freedom. Freedom to live and love and appreciate one another. There are certainly other pieces of baggage and issues that have not been completely resolved. Some interpersonal baggage from childhood. Little by little the pieces of our lives come together. At this point, Master is very helpful and supportive as i work through these issues. Could i resolve them without Him? Sure. But I'm glad I don't have to. So that was what I needed. On the other hand, I respect the poster who mentioned that their Master helped them learn and grow and fix the problem areas. That's not the same as Master fixing it for you. And I completely respect that. And also believe that a good Master or Dominant will always wish to teach and improve their slave or submissive. Search your heart. Be up front with a potential partner. Have them search their heart as well. And in the end, follow what your heart tells you. Respect what it says. There is no correct answer that will work for every person. My life is such a work in progress, an incomplete Tapestry, and now Master is adding His design and pattern to the already begun work. All that has come before is part of who I am today. If any of it was changed or omitted I wouldn't be the same person. The person that Master loves and chose for His very own slave. Never regret and never look back. Live for each moment, because you have to go through today in order to get to tomorrow.

veronicaofML -> RE: Life Baggage (1/29/2006 10:31:48 PM)
I agree with LuckyAlbatross here. Unless your own life is stable and secure, you should not try a relationship with someone. ============== MY issue with this; is far far too many females feel they have-to-be rescued....and in the end, they burn the guy that tried to help her. THIS is why "I" stopped getting involved....and have stayed single since 2001....i trust NO female.

justheather -> RE: Life Baggage (1/30/2006 5:16:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Problem is a lot of people don't know how to just date and have fun without feeling pressured to have more. I would like to present the possible reality that there are some people who know very well how to "just date" people "and have fun" but, for whatever reasons, are not interested in doing so.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Life Baggage (1/30/2006 5:45:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: justheather I would like to present the possible reality that there are some people who know very well how to "just date" people "and have fun" but, for whatever reasons, are not interested in doing so. Of course. And for those people, they shouldn't get involved in committed relationships until their lives are fairly stable and manageable for themselves.

IronBear -> RE: Life Baggage (1/30/2006 8:53:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Quivver IronBear post about "Low Income Dom's" got me thinking about the other side. In my time here on CM I've noticed a good number of Sub's who for what ever reason are living relatively low on the food chain in life. Being one of them who is I've questioned beginning any kind of relationship until my grip on life is firmer. Like my profile states, "my baggage resembles Scarlet going home to Tara". With that in mind, I would like to hear other's opinions of Sub's with Issues. Should we stay out of relationships until our life is firmly under our control, just to have worth to what we may give away? Or is it possible that being Somewhat of a blank slate that is directable, desirable? Thanks in Advance for your thoughts. Q There have been some great comments here, and I’d have to say that we all have baggage in one way or another. I guess it is the size and type of baggage which can weigh us down and even screw up a new relationship. Been there and experienced that. When Neets and I first got together a few people didn’t believe that we would last due to baggage as well as our age difference. We have proved them wrong for one reason; we talk about things which trouble us and what we need to do to help each other overcome baggage. The more baggage and outsiders tried to break us up, the more we were welded together. There a few people here who I have talked to via CM Messenger, and I can say even though we have talked about their baggage and they know my fiscal and health situation, were it not for that bloody great dusk pond between the US and here I’d have no hesitation in at least wanting to form friendships and perhaps, were they not taken, look at things progressing further. (An increase in my finances would help too). In other words, I don’t mind most baggage in a girl as long as it is up front and in the open so at least I know what I’m dealing with and how I can help. Y’see in my view, only politicians have problems, most of has a disasters and some have bloody huge disasters. Problems are like a tooth ache, niggling and annoying and won’t go away. A disaster means that you can roll up your sleeves and start to clean up the mess. Just the way you look at things I guess.

truesub4u -> RE: Life Baggage (1/30/2006 8:56:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross We should stay out of relationships until our lives are reasonably secure and stable. Until we have good footing for what we want and what we're into. I say relationships- not dating ot having fun or experimenting. Problem is a lot of people don't know how to just date and have fun without feeling pressured to have more. Lucky you're so right. There's alot of fear out there with STD and AIDS... that most feel dating more than 1 at a time and working on that 1 single is all there is. When I "ran across" Master, I wasn't owned. But I was seeing another, and talking to a few others. Never hid that from him either. Life isn't always going to be running smoothly... so why stop living when a few snags show up?

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