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The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 6:47:25 PM   
Adelphus


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Dear members of collarme,

It's been a while since I've come here, but if I post this on the site I currently reside on, she will surely find it.

I met her a year ago and she put me in a place where I always wanted to go. But she had someone else at the time and she didn't feel comfortable with poly. We bonded anyway. She loves me... but when she broke with her sub, she didn't come for me. She went to someone else.

We've talked and talked but this other girl is what she wants right now. I am doing my best to be happy for her, but I feel terrible inside. I love and miss her so much...

Has anyone waited with success, or do these things never end well?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 7:17:35 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		If you sit and pine away for her, that's not going to help you. She used you for what she needed at the time. Now she's left you behind. Get over her and move on with your life. She's made her choice, and it isn't you. Why would you even want someone who no longer wants you and has made that abundantly clear?

Sorry so harsh- but you can either prolong your suffering, or cut it short.





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(in reply to Adelphus)
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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 7:22:28 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

Dear members of collarme,

It's been a while since I've come here, but if I post this on the site I currently reside on, she will surely find it.

I met her a year ago and she put me in a place where I always wanted to go. But she had someone else at the time and she didn't feel comfortable with poly. We bonded anyway. She loves me... but when she broke with her sub, she didn't come for me. She went to someone else.

We've talked and talked but this other girl is what she wants right now. I am doing my best to be happy for her, but I feel terrible inside. I love and miss her so much...

Has anyone waited with success, or do these things never end well?



I waited and dreamed about someone and now he is engaged. Tells me in e-mail all about his marvelous life. He doesnt even know how much it hurts. Soon he will be married.

Waiting is never sucessful and they never end well.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Adelphus)
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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 8:44:15 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have one of those.   Three years later, I am finally able to smirk when it is clear he still needs to vent his dominant sadistic side, and he is living with a nilla, emotionally needy, sexually unexperimental woman at his side. 
His choice.  I may love him but I cannot contain my satisfaction when he cannot get what he wants from me any longer.
There is a degree of comfort in knowing it will not be me.
Kyst

(in reply to Adelphus)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 9:09:39 PM   
MasterRaid


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/16/2008
From: The Brink of insanity.
Status: offline 		I could say you waited for someone who obviously did not wait for you. I could say you were a good person and they were not. But I won't. Things like that really do not matter. The truth is, Love sucks. Everyone wants it, we are willing to sacrifice nearly everything for it. For those few who find it life seems a little brighter. For those who feel the painful thorn of love the world seems a bit more hollow. Yet, the most humorous part of it is we never stop trying to get it. We need it just as much as we need air to breathe. I will say this, do not dwell on what she did, nor let it stop you from trying to get it again. Definately do not let it change who you are. Keep trying and I am sure that someone who was willing to wait is proof enough to the one you will eventually find. 

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 9:21:15 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Adelphus, speaking from experience, having a submissive with Aspergers is quite exhausting. She may care for you on any number of levels, and still be unequipped to take you into Her life full time.

I had an aspie in My home for two years, and each day I questioned whether I was giving him the love and support he needed. When it became obvious that his idea of our relationship and Mine did not match, I tried to tell him over and over and over... but many Aspies don't hear what you say, they hear what they want to hear. (I cannot watch Rain Man anymore because it hits too close to My reality for two years)

Has this possibly happened with the Mistress you speak of? You might ask Her straight out if she has any intentions of ever being with you. if the answer is no, move on.

I do regret that you are suffering though. You seem like a very sweet person.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to Adelphus)
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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/10/2009 11:14:01 PM   
Vanityfull


Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
Status: offline 		they never end well, you can wait but its basicly just dwelling, cry into a pillow and go get laid. love sucks man.. it can suck a whole lot sometimes. being the backup bf/gf if things go wrong is incredably destructive for you, iv done this before and found it a little slice of hell, be happy for them or hate them but dont sit around waiting, the only real advice i have is move on with your life without them, you can sit there being sad but that can get a little boring after awhile.

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"give away everything, so others have nothing"

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 12:12:01 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Has anyone waited with success


I gave that up a very long time ago - it is agony, and it never works. The only thing that works for me is moving on, the quicker, the better - and on occasion, rarely, the person I left behind changes their mind. I don't like to state the obvious, but quickly starting another relationship sometimes works well, too..

(in reply to Adelphus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 12:32:41 AM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

Dear members of collarme,

It's been a while since I've come here, but if I post this on the site I currently reside on, she will surely find it.

I met her a year ago and she put me in a place where I always wanted to go. But she had someone else at the time and she didn't feel comfortable with poly. We bonded anyway. She loves me... but when she broke with her sub, she didn't come for me. She went to someone else.

We've talked and talked but this other girl is what she wants right now. I am doing my best to be happy for her, but I feel terrible inside. I love and miss her so much...

Has anyone waited with success, or do these things never end well?



Hello Adelphus,
My suggestion is to let go.

you have waited for her to come to you, but she didn't.
Obviously it didn't came through that she isn't waiting on you.

So cut all ties, and move on hon.

There are more fish in the sea, and maybe in time,
you could be friends, when both of you wanted that,
but for now you should start to let her go.

It's not easy, but you should in order to
release yourself, to be open for other people in time.

I wish you enough & a Happy Easter.

GoddezzT`



_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 1:59:28 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Has anyone waited with success, or do these things never end well?


Don't put your life on hold for another.  You may miss something great while you are waiting.  And you may get nothing in return.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Adelphus)
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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 2:12:07 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Adelphus

Has anyone waited with success, or do these things never end well?



No, if there is no reason for you not to be together then you may end up waiting forever. In my experience waiting keeps them around but less likely to want you, when you move on they miss the security. Its not about loving you, or wanting to be with you, everyone has a security blanket and its no fun being one

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 2:24:26 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I read a story once about a submissive who was waiting on a dominant that she loved.

He shared everything with her as his friend while she pined for him in agony - celebrating his joy at finding the slave he'd been looking for, etc...

And over the years, the pain, while never lessening, became a kind of joy as she learned to be happy for him and his happiness - even as she sat waiting patiently.

I have to tell you, that story still ranks up there in the top 5 of the saddest stories I have ever heard. What a waste of a life - to live in hope of something that never was going to happen.

Get busy and separate yourself from that whole thing if you have to. Each of us are worthy of finding people who care for and about us.

juliet

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 5:13:02 AM   
wisdomofgiving


Posts: 55
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		Adelphus
Only you are not letting the love that wont go away continue. Yes, you hurt, but there is so much in life to experience, and perhaps another love to come your way. I usually suggest people to put them on someone else's back burner and go out and live life to their fullest.

blessings
wisdomofgiving

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Though my heart will always be connect to the ocean winds, my mind is now learning about the wisdom of giving.

once and always an oceanwynds and now wisdomofgiving

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 7:15:49 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Waiting is never successful and they never end well.


Waiting is rarely successful and they rarely end well.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 7:23:44 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Waiting is never sucessful and they never end well.


Never say never.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 7:29:01 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Waiting is never successful and they never end well.


Waiting is rarely successful and they rarely end well.


This is Darcy
 
And when it is successful then it proves the old maxim 'The best things in life are worth waiting for'. The.dark. had the insight to show patience.
I couldn't be happier.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 7:31:01 AM   
SteveMDFP


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/11/2005
Status: offline
With a few nuances of difference, the opinions here are essentially unanimous. I'd like to add to the unanimity.

I've spent YEARS of my sexual/romantic life waiting for partners to change their minds or get their lives together so that we could be together--sometimes because of a competing relationship, sometimes other reasons. In some cases, I got enough emotional satisfaction to make this somewhat less than a total waste of time--playing the musical chairs of seeking a new partner can be rough, too, and it was probably better than total solitude.

But clinging to illusion and unrealistic expectations is unhealthy and unwise. It's rare that long-term waiting leads to anything other than more waiting. We have a limited number of days in this world; if your recent days seem wasted in waiting, then that is a very costly, irreparable waste indeed. It would be tragic to have a tombstone inscribed with "this one was waiting patiently until the end."

Best wishes in everyone's search.

Steve

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 8:35:35 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		As you can see most people will leave you for dead. Let them.

You only need one person who can raise you from the dead.

That's what makes love so worthwhile.

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also Facebook
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RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 8:38:16 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Waiting is never sucessful and they never end well.


Never say never.
 
the.dark.

 
Well since the one I use to pine for is engaged, I think I'll move on.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The love that won't go away. - 4/11/2009 8:46:30 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Having been in this situation more times then I can recall, it doesn't bode well to keep waiting for your love to be returned. Granted this is not the rule and some people are quite lucky to have their feelings returned from another. It all boils down to the OP searching within themself and deciding if they are wasting their time or if that person is well worth the wait. My experience is I would eventually see that I was wasting my life waiting yet this is just my experience only.

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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