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Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 7:24:49 AM

lethrs64

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

Hey all--hope you can help me out with some suggestions...

My Mistress will be celebrating a significant birthday in a few weeks and I am trying to figure out what to get her...

Some background: We have been dating for more than a year, and are pretty serious in the BF/GF side as well as on the D/s side. She is a sadist. We go out to clubs and parties from time to time--and also go away for long romantic weekends.

I tend to get gifts that are on the vanilla side--because I want to show her I love the total her--but I am open to any suggestions.

So, any suggestions?

Post #: 1

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 11:04:35 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

You're the best person to answer this question. You know her likes and dislikes; we don't. However, you can always go with the ever popular options of:

Jewelry
Clothing (street wear, not lingerie)
Shoes
Lingerie
A day at the spa
Theater tickets

Books, DVDs, or music CDs are also good. Think about times she's seen something on television or in a store or catalog and said "Wow, that's a really cool thing" or "Gee, I would love one of those." Buy her that.

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Post #: 2

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 11:22:59 AM

MsAlaria

Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline

You could get her something bdsm-related that she's been wanting or take her out for a romantic evening.

It's hard enough deciding on gifts for people I know, much less people I don't. :)

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Post #: 3

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 11:32:23 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I would want my submissive to know me well enough that he would know what I loved and if he didn't, to ask me about it. I would make a way for him to be free to do what he wanted, but to know how I feel about a gift. To me a gift is for the person and should not benefit another unless it is understood that that is okay with that person.

I can remember gifts from partner's that simply pissed me off. Because I knew they got me the gift to please themselves and I wasn't a part of it. They bought things I would not like, would not use and they couldn't wait for me to use the gift for their pleasure. Never once did those gifts get used... nor was I used for my b'day or holiday as part of my 'gift'.

So if unsure... ask. Ask what she appreciates more in a gift. Something from the heart I typically will love. Something with an angle or something that isn't personal, I don't care for.

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Post #: 4

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 12:42:06 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

The gift lover in me always wants something that I simply enjoy, that isn't practical whatsover...just frivolous.

The practical person in me accepts gladly gifts that are useful that I need.

However, I NEVER want a vaccuum cleaner as a gift

, nor do I want something that the person giving it to me will receive more pleasure from it than I will.

Frivolous things I enjoy are things such as trips to the spa, manicures/pedicures, trip to a reputable masseur, things that relate to any hobbies of mine, boots - I can never have too many boots!

Practical gifts that I enjoy are things like clothing, perfume, cookware (I love to cook), recipe books of Celebrity Chefs, Beer books, and the like.

With knowing your Domme for a year, and having both a loving relationship and a D/s relationship, you should have heard her mention things she would LOVE to have by now. Get one of those things, just be sure it is one of the things she wants for herself and not one of the things she wants to use on you. Things she wants to use on you should be reserved as gifts for an anniversary or Valentine's Day, where the occasion is meant to be shared by both persons.

ETA: Whatever you choose to give, please please DO NOT give a gift certificate/card. YUCK! Those are okay gifts for acquaintances, co-workers, teenagers, etc. For intimate relationships take the time to find the right gift. It may be difficult for you but that in my opinion is the best part of the gift! When someone searches hard for the right gift for me, that just melts me and endears the giver to me oh so much. The thought and hunt for the perfect gift makes the gift that much more perfect.

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 4/11/2009 12:49:14 PM >

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Post #: 5

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 12:45:20 PM

DVsFox

Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline

If you get her a gift, get her something she wants or something she's expressed interest in. If you're going to buy her something, do something to personalize it. Sometimes merely giving somebody a gift, no matter how nice the gift is, seems cold and artificial. Write her a little note, a poem, or maybe plan a surprise. Show her that you put your heart and mind into the gift, rather than just your wallet.

Though I have bought a gift or two in the past that has been BDSM related, with positive results, that's something I do try to shy away from...because I don't want it to seem too much like, "Hey, I'm buying this for myself but you can have it since it's your birthday!"

Also, and this is just random advice that you probably know already, remember that you can make days besides "event days" romantic and special. Some of the most romantic days my Owner and I have had have been random Tuesdays that didn't mean anything as far as the calender was concerned.

Good luck!

DV's Fox

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Post #: 6

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 12:55:33 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I always advise that if you are getting a practicle gift, to put a personal touch to it, either in a personal gift, a poem, deed... For me, I love heartfelt poems or stories. I collect rocks... he could simply find or purchase an inexpensive rock.. even a pet rock darn it! I love things I can look at near my computer or bed and hold and think of the person who was thoughtful or meaningful to my life. I always have it to keep and be pleased with long after the reason for the gift. You can't go hold a pan or vaccum and look at it with love a-bloom... the same way.

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Post #: 7

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 1:01:56 PM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

flowers..red wine..bubblebath..massage n a cozy evening togetha by the fire *drool* (fire can be uh substituted with something else

)

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Post #: 8

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 1:07:19 PM

MzFemDom

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/23/2009
Status: offline

Make her something with you own two hands anything from using a computer to draft a card or photo shop a photo to going to a craft store to make an item if you look you can find all kinds of unusual item poterty shop glass blowers etc. Beside the above gift get her something she will like related to the event you are giving it to her for like a gold necklace if is her 50th or a small gold coin. The mix of both will show her your thoughtfulness.

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Post #: 9

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 3:43:54 PM

LAgirlsub

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/16/2009
Status: offline

Well...although my bday gift did not have results I was hoping for (ie: online dom who I didn't know), I did what I thought would have been a gift she should have liked. I knew how much she loved photos of me (yes naked ones) so I used a theme that came to mind regarding this woman and I made a photo album for her around it. I'm very creative, I was expressing myself, it was probably to 'cute' for her (she wanted only explicit photos) but I know frankly a better woman/person would have enjoyed all the effort I put in trying to give her something I thought she'd enjoy.

So I realize this depends on you (how creative you are), but I tend to give very personalized gifts when I can. Another example, a friend loved this singer and I had a connection to that singer. I bought a vintage album cover, had him sign it and framed it for her 50th bday. Just examples of things you can't just buy but will (hopefully) be enjoyed by the recipient. Otay?

If you really want to make it special, think of her activites, what she enjoys (yes other then bdsm with you - it is a gift for her) and imagine ways you could do something that is unique to her.

(in reply to lethrs64)

Post #: 10

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 5:43:08 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

a length of rope... with some soap on it to make it smell nice..

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Post #: 11

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 6:26:46 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Some of the answers here have been really good. This thread might be a good one to suggest the next time someone has gift questions.

One thing I want to add to the above. It was already mentioned, but it's worth saying twice. The best method of gift giving is to pay attention. If you're listening to her, or keeping a sharp eye those times that you are window shopping together, you'll have ideas. By the way, the extra trick to making this work is to do it when an important date isn't close. If her birthday is in April, start listening for clues around January when a lot of things are on sale. When you get the chance, write down those things she liked when she saw them out and about and stick them in your wallet. Instant gift list when you need it.

I'll give clip a lot of credit on this subject. While he's not allowed to buy Me expensive gifts, he pays attention to the little things. Everything he's given Me has had a link to My personality in some way and knowing that makes even the small things special.

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Post #: 12

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 7:31:48 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
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Give Her you and something you said you would never do.

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Post #: 13

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/11/2009 7:59:57 PM

LovingMistress45

Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline

Ok, here is what I would like - a dozen roses all white except for one black rose, your cooking my favorite meal, candles all over the bedroom, clean fresh sheets sprinkled with red rose petals and you offering yourself to me to do whatever I wanted - no limits

That would be a great birthday or anniversery gift

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Post #: 14

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/14/2009 3:59:23 AM

lethrs64

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

Thanks all for the great advice and ideas--will probably use some of what is here.

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Post #: 15

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/14/2009 8:27:51 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Find a nice day spa near you and give her a gift certificate for it or a day there.

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Post #: 16

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/14/2009 8:36:07 AM

glanstat

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

If she is an active reader consider a Amazon Kindle. Get a cool cover for it and a gift certificate from Amazon. Totally cool toys!!!

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Post #: 17

RE: Mistress' birthday - 4/14/2009 8:40:16 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Right now I would totally dig a dumptruck load of rock. Orrrr, having someone landscape a dry creek bed type thing through my yard. Orrrr, the fence and plants for the private garden I want to build outside my bedroom....and of course the french doors leading out to it. Orrr....a bazillion other things no one else might want.

You have to pay attention to HER, and HER interests.

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Post #: 18

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