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sincerity - 1/29/2006 7:24:28 PM

foxglove716

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Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

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RE: sincerity - 1/29/2006 7:34:27 PM

LadyMorgynn

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Firstly, their willingness to do it to please me would make me happy. Secondly, I would try to find a way to make it more enjoyable to them (possibly by combining it with other elements that my sub does like).

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RE: sincerity - 1/29/2006 8:02:00 PM

Padriag

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Her willingness to please me doing something she didn't especially like would be very pleasing to me. Its easy to submit doing something you really enjoy, but when its something you don't really like or enjoy, but you still do it... to me that's very special. She's making a sacrifice on her part to make me happy, that's a very sincere show of submission and obedience. Why would a dom not be pleased with that?

Unlike Morgynn I wouldn't necessarily try to make it something she would enjoy more. In some cases, yes, but in others no. The reason being that in some cases I would very much want to savor the fact she was doing something to please me I knew she didn't enjoy... but was doing it anyway because pleasing me matter to her that much.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: sincerity - 1/29/2006 8:13:11 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716
Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

When I first started talking to my pet, he explained to me that he was not interested in anal play at all. It was not a hard limit, just a disinterest. I slowly introduced him to the idea, making sure to go very slowly as I didn't want him to get scared and call "hard limit" without first trying it. He did it to please me, knowing how much pleasure I get from watching his reactions and so forth.
Tonight I was playing with a popsicle and I told him I was going to fuck him with it, he freaked out lol said that there was no way, yet he endured the coldness on his cock and balls, even though I knew he didnt care for it, he still did it for me. Would he let me insert the popsicle into him? No way lol. There have been a couple more instances where I knew he didnt want to do something, but I had pushed (since it wasnt a hard limit) and he has endured, to please me. I dont think that I would of been "into" it as much if I knew he was just doing it to please me. I want him to have fun too, and if he is only doing something to please me, then it wouldnt be pleasing me.

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RE: sincerity - 1/29/2006 8:33:41 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

Their willingness would be enough for me to at least get them acclimated and do it a few times. Most people can learn to love almost anything if you do it the right way.

If I had honestly played it out, and they got nothing out of it except the submission to me, and my kink was based on them reacting to the kink itself, then obviously NEITHER of us would be getting anything out of it so it would be pointless to do.

However, if my kink did not depend on them having a reaction to the KINK itself...then party on!

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 1:23:13 AM

Focus50

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Assuming you're not referring to hard limits, the "specific kink" is not the point. Few couples share exactly the same likes and dislikes and though it's her theoretical role to serve and obey etc no matter what, I tend to appreciate her endeavours even more when I know it's not her favourite experience.

As always, it's not whether she succeeds or fails at what I task her to do but whether she tries her best for *me*! Obviously it's easier allround if she mutually enjoys what's happening but she gets extra "brownie points" for accomplishment, committment and appreciation when her endeavours are orientated at pleasing me through some self-sacrifice. No wonder I adore subs....

And it works both ways, too! Satisfying my girls needs, even when they're not my needs, is something I'm conscious of as long as it doesn't interfere with my own hard limits. We feed off each other's power within a D/s dynamic but it still pleases me that she wants and needs to please and I reciprocate in my own Dom way....

Focus.

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 6:46:00 AM

desoutter

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what a great question - I wrestle with this one from time to time:
The act of making the attempt to satisfy a specific 'kink' IS satisfying... However the specific 'kink' is not very satisfying....

Nothing is as satisfying as when both individuals are very much into the same 'kink' - There's a real synergy or harmony when a 'kink' is SHARED - it can be overwhelming... or downright maddening...

When its just being done, like a job, to get it over with - It loses its magic... but you still get an 'A' for effort...
desoutter

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 7:03:44 AM

artglfr

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quote:

As always, it's not whether she succeeds or fails at what I task her to do but whether she tries her best for *me*! Obviously it's easier allround if she mutually enjoys what's happening but she gets extra "brownie points" for accomplishment, committment and appreciation when her endeavours are orientated at pleasing me through some self-sacrifice. No wonder I adore subs....

I agree Focus, very well put. One subbie I play with is NOT a "pain slut" but definitely a "sensation freak" so I make certain I try new tastes, feels and touches as I gently increase her pain threshold. I give her something she wants and she is actually proud that I expand her experiences. Interestingly as her limits are growing another subbie who has been a total "pain slut" is now slowly losing her tolerance After she found a Master.....

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 7:12:20 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716
Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

It would be a matter of degree.
If they got enough out of doing it for me dispite not getting much out of it directly then yes. One happy master.

If it was something they disliked (But not a hard limit) enough that even the submission wasn't enough and they where 'going through the motions' to just get it over with, then whilst I would be pleased at the effort I wouldn't get much out of it. If I couldn't find ways to help them get something out if it then it probably wouldn't get done often.

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 8:24:19 AM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

A girl in my collar will be a kajira and nothing less. She is my property and will do what I require. Her submission to me is what gives me pleasure and the knowledge that she will comply with my wishes. If she just happens to enjoy my kinks is just the cream on my pavlova. (Intended to ge eaten of her naked prone body).

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RE: sincerity - 1/30/2006 2:38:04 PM

MistressW

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I agree their willingness would please me after all aren't subbie's they to give themselves to you for ur pleasure but if it disturbed my subbie that much i would do it occasionally as without willingness they wouldnt submit properly

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RE: sincerity - 1/31/2006 9:37:21 AM

amayos

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From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: foxglove716

Lets say you had a specific kink, and your sub was not really into it, but willing to do it to make you happy... would you be disappointed in this (as if they were just playing a role and not genuinely *into* it like you were) or would their willingness to please you make up for it?

Their willingness to please me would indeed make up for it. It would please me even more if they grew to enjoy what they once disliked.

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RE: sincerity - 1/31/2006 5:30:35 PM

Petruchio

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Intriguing question, fox.

I always love it when my woman loves what I enjoy (or vice versa), but her willingness to please goes a long, long way.

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