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Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/29/2006 8:17:33 PM   
satanschild


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/28/2004
Status: offline 		Anyone have relationship problems that intensify the urge and desire to submit. I'm thinking they are a coming from sense of loss of control and need to punish myself for the mistakes I have made. I seek humilliation, being abused and used any way the dominate feels fit in doing. Sometimes the thought of forced bi sex is very appealling. Any commints.


Satanschild
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/29/2006 8:29:09 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satanschild

Anyone have relationship problems that intensify the urge and desire to submit. I'm thinking they are a coming from sense of loss of control and need to punish myself for the mistakes I have made. I seek humilliation, being abused and used any way the dominate feels fit in doing. Sometimes the thought of forced bi sex is very appealling. Any commints.


Satanschild


/scratches head in confusion

Nope

Never do

/shrug


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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/29/2006 8:35:45 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Don't DO anything until you can control yourself and make a sound judgement.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to satanschild)
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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/29/2006 10:02:00 PM   
tywashername


Posts: 6
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline 		wow, i know how you feel. i feel that way. given the situation with my Master, Sir, Him being a distance aways as of now, i feel as though when i make a mistake, it's ten times as worse because Master, Sir is able to punish as He sees fits. it actually hurts more that i can not be punished by my Master, Sir the right way. being farther away from Master, Sir makes me want to serve Him more. theres nothing i wouldnt do for Master, Sir. He knows that. He's my heart. He's why i live.

slave ty
Owned by Master,Sir and spankingbeauty

(in reply to satanschild)
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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/29/2006 10:08:10 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		sometimes, the burning desire to submit isn't enough when there's nobody to appreciate it. one can live their entire life with the undeniable need to belong to "The One" only to never find them. this is a lonely and thankless task to some. as i have learned, a submissive can't "make" a Dominant want them.

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Are we having fun, yet?

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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 5:35:00 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

sometimes, the burning desire to submit isn't enough when there's nobody to appreciate it. one can live their entire life with the undeniable need to belong to "The One" only to never find them. this is a lonely and thankless task to some. as i have learned, a submissive can't "make" a Dominant want them.



and a Dominant cannot make a submissive want them--at the end of the day there are still human interactions and no guarantees---



_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 5:38:31 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

and a Dominant cannot make a submissive want them--at the end of the day there are still human interactions and no guarantees


Very true...very, very true

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 5:48:06 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		ain't that the dreadful and painful truth.

maybe i need to relearn protocol and start over. but there's one thing i refuse to be...and that is a doormat.

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Are we having fun, yet?

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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 6:55:21 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satanschild

Anyone have relationship problems


Funny, I've been reading these boards for a while now, and I haven't come across anyone at all with relationship problems. This group would literally put Dr. Phil out of business. Its just my humble opinion, but, as a rule, F's like guys who like themselves, and desperation, unfortunately, is a form of self loathing. You're in a bit of a catch-22.

Anyway, here's the best advice I've seen on this topic:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_255454/mpage_1/key_akasha/tm.htm#255458

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RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 6:56:22 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
O, and that screename, that's really gonna reel'em in.....

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 2:49:45 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Funny, I've been reading these boards for a while now, and I haven't come across anyone at all with relationship problems. This group would literally put Dr. Phil out of business.


Hahahahahhaha. Where are these boards you read?

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 3:33:06 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sensualips

quote:

Funny, I've been reading these boards for a while now, and I haven't come across anyone at all with relationship problems. This group would literally put Dr. Phil out of business.


Hahahahahhaha. Where are these boards you read?



cloudboy has an awesome dry deadpan delivery--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 3:49:18 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		Anyone have relationship problems that intensify the urge and desire to submit.
========

i'll give a semi intelligent answer...or attempt to.
relationship problems, that intensify, the urge to submit?

yes and no.

yes;
because vanilla broads are seriously warped into believing only bad boys are worthwhile and then bitch when they get the shit kicked out of em./


no;
because "I" am not now, never have been, and never going to be, in, any, :"relationship" romantically in this lifestyle.

does THIS help?



_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to satanschild)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 4:31:48 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		I've spoken with a male sub who I believe was experiencing the same feelings that you are, satanschild. He always shared with me that he felt he was to blame for his relationship issues and that he often wanted to give up total control during the times when things were especially tough. It made sense to me. Giving up control takes away the responsibility of making decisions that can be viewed as "bad" by one's partner. Being punished and humiliated by a woman somehow redeems him. He has now paid for his mistakes.

I don't necessarily think it's the best way to deal with your relationship issues, but I understand where you are coming from. You seem to have a good understanding of why you seek out particular things, so perhaps you can make some positive changes and still enjoy submission.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to satanschild)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 4:37:33 PM   
MyCaptainsPet


Posts: 219
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satanschild

Anyone have relationship problems that intensify the urge and desire to submit. I'm thinking they are a coming from sense of loss of control and need to punish myself for the mistakes I have made. I seek humilliation, being abused and used any way the dominate feels fit in doing. Sometimes the thought of forced bi sex is very appealling. Any commints.


Satanschild


Yes, i do feel this way sometimes. But, i find its mostly when i'm feeling unsure or unstable in some area of my life.. (work, family, etc) i get the urge and desire to submit more then because it centers me and gives me the footing i need to get thru what is bothering me.

(in reply to satanschild)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 4:53:06 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satanschild

Anyone have relationship problems that intensify the urge and desire to submit. I'm thinking they are a coming from sense of loss of control and need to punish myself for the mistakes I have made. I seek humilliation, being abused and used any way the dominate feels fit in doing. Sometimes the thought of forced bi sex is very appealling. Any commints.


Satanschild


I wouldnt say that "relationship problems" compell me to submit.

But, I would say that when issues arise in our relationship and my partner consistently approaches them in a manner that is wise and fair, taking into account my emotions as well as pointing out the rational analysis of whatever issue is taking hold of me at that given time...when he consistently proves to me again and again in his response to potential "relationship issues" that he is wise, intelligent, thoughtful and brave...I get a sense of smallness and of even more adoration for him that it does compell me to want even more to submit to him and to outwardly symbolize that submission through some act or posture so that he understands that not only have I heard him, but that I see the wisdom in his words and appreciate oh so much that wisdom, thoughtfulness and bravery and that he applies them to me with such care and devotion.

Not sure if that touches on what you asked, or if it even makes sense to anyone else, but it is a distinct phenomenon that I am aware of as it occurs. It's such a wonderful, humbling feeling.

Perhaps more along the lines of what you are asking, when I have disappointed him or disobeyed, it does feel good to be able to perform some act of penance.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 6:53:06 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather
when issues arise in our relationship and my partner consistently approaches them in a manner that is wise and fair, taking into account my emotions as well as pointing out the rational analysis of whatever issue is taking hold of me at that given time...when he consistently proves to me again and again in his response to potential "relationship issues" that he is wise, intelligent, thoughtful and brave...I get a sense of smallness and of even more adoration for him that it does compell me to want even more to submit to him and to outwardly symbolize that submission through some act or posture so that he understands that not only have I heard him, but that I see the wisdom in his words and appreciate oh so much that wisdom, thoughtfulness and bravery and that he applies them to me with such care and devotion.


This is really true and I am completely blessed in the same capacity. Its just really wonderous when a relationship clicks AND you can count on your Domme to be a good "lead." I don't find that I get a sense of "smallness," though, instead I have a kind of faith, admiration, and trust in my Mistress. These things have been quite important because in my relationship to her I've had to navigate completely new emotional, relational, and self concept territorries --- and as you can imagine there's plenty of rocks in them-there high seas. So, not only have I steered clear of the rocks, but instead of feeling "smallness," I feel I've been "broadened." In my book, this is the highest compliment anyone can pay to a relationship.


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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 7:02:38 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Satan's child, you are asking for Hell and you will be happy in it .with a screen name like that..LOL..
geesh, get a grip...Seek and ye shall find, whether it is humiliation, punishment, or love?
Plenty of Sadist on this site and plenty of people who will ask, WTF?
Why all the confusion?
My point is, to thine ownself be true.....follow your instincts!

Peace, Kevin

< Message edited by fastlane -- 1/30/2006 7:04:42 PM >

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 7:37:42 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

This is really true and I am completely blessed in the same capacity. Its just really wonderous when a relationship clicks AND you can count on your Domme to be a good "lead." I don't find that I get a sense of "smallness," though, instead I have a kind of faith, admiration, and trust in my Mistress. These things have been quite important because in my relationship to her I've had to navigate completely new emotional, relational, and self concept territorries --- and as you can imagine there's plenty of rocks in them-there high seas. So, not only have I steered clear of the rocks, but instead of feeling "smallness," I feel I've been "broadened." In my book, this is the highest compliment anyone can pay to a relationship.

I guess I should clarify that "smallness" is a way I describe my particular place in our D/s dynamic. It is a term I used to describe a very particular sense that is specific to our relationship. It does not preclude or exclude my capacity to grow in the relationship, as you described above....it is a positive feeling. I should have been more clear. Thanks so much for your feedback and validation.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Desires to submit are overwhelming.... - 1/30/2006 7:49:43 PM   
LisaLace


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		Abuse? Hell no! But humility is a good thing :)

(in reply to satanschild)
Profile   Post #: 20
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