RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 7:32:59 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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to be honest, i probably glanced over your posts and found no reason to reply because (a) the subject didn't generate any interest for my reply; or (b) merely reading/lurking.

have a nice day

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 7:38:37 AM

subtlebutterfly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am like Subtlebutterfly in that I get a feel or voice, for a poster. Sometimes it only takes one post to set my teeth on edge and I will skim over following posts. Maybe check one on a particularly interesting thread or in a post by someone I enjoy consistantly that may have quoted a post by someone I normally ignore.

I may not remember the initial post that set me off that person's post. However if there is a consistant tone following, I will ignore more and more.

Quite often it's a lack of what I perceive as intelligent or witty contribution, or too difficult to read in some way. Long run on paragraphs, weird font or font colour (example, there is one that consistantly posts in a weirdly justified way, combined with an annoying to read colour and font style....add that to boring content, and I almost never read their posts), babbling that is difficult to make sense out of. Or, if all of a person's posts reflect a negative or closed mind that just annoys me.

wohoooooooooo YAY I'm not alone then!!
LaT?! Have I told you lately that I love youuuuuuu *sing*
but omigawd I know who it is can I make a guess can I can I can I?!!?!?!?!?!

I love the hide button

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 11:56:59 AM

popeye1250

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CPK, join the club.
I've started threads before and only gotten four or five posts.
As others have already said, maybe people just wearn't interested in my topic.
Don't take it as a personal slight, just move on.
You can't hit a homerun everytime at bat.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 12:16:44 PM

RCdc

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A more productive question I would suggest is who is responding, not whether people are put off. Quality over quantity, everytime rocks. Don't forget that not everyone is going to 'get' your thread or your idea.
Also, give it time. Regular posters take time to get established, new posters get direct attention because it's easy fodder for ridicule, and that wonderful thing, advice. For a new poster, it doesn't matter when the advice is crap or based on such little info.

And per our conversation on that other thread. It is always helpful to remember that there is postivie attention seeking and negative. Balance is the bomb.

the.dark.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 1:20:33 PM

samboct

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Hi Kim

I think you've gotten some excellent and well thought out responses from some of the folks here- probably the best I can do is echo Chamberqueens. I had a similar discussion with someone else who posts here (we used PMs rather than an open forum)- questioning how I was coming across. I found her answer quite surprising- she was really quite laudatory and I was cheered. What's pretty clear is that most people have a tacit assumption that if they agree with a post, nothing more needs be said. A few of the respondents here don't follow those rules (Hi Popeye, Lady E) and will give kudos to a post they find entertaining or well thought out, but this is unusual behavior. It might make the place a bit friendlier if more people did so and I'm probably as guilty as anybody else.

I find these forums useful because its both a communicating and learning experience. I often have to go to the 'net to back up something, and not infrequently find that something that I "knew" to be true-wasn't. I had kind of hoped they might be a way to find somebody compatible, but to date, no joy. But from my perspective- more fun than drinking alone in a bar. I don't know if there's a relationship between the "polite tone" of someone's posts and whether or not they're actively looking for something more than an online relationship. Often it seems that the most polite posters are here solely for these message boards, being otherwise exclusively engaged.

Also- some of us find a good debate enjoyable- (not name calling although if it's imaginative, it can be entertaining. Unfortunately, it rarely is.) What I find is I'm more likely to respond to people that have a similar debating style- clear identification of what is fact, supposition, and opinion along with a refusal to use an ad hominem argument. Unfortunately, this often means my posts are longer than most and wordy, because rather than simply say that someone is wrong, I want to back up my reasoning. I also prefer being constructive to destructive.

Lurking may be a better way to get a sense of what debating rules you wish to play by- and then see who uses what rules.

Good luck!

Sam

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 1:41:39 PM

subtlebutterfly

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I also forgot to mention, that I also tend to ignore people on the forum instantly..when their display picture simply makes my stomach go upside down and spin so I almost literally end up with my head down in the toilet..and yes that happens rarely..but still happens, it actually just happened few minutes ago...I really have no interest in having members on this forum (intentionally or not) forcing me to have intimate conversations with the toilet - we're not that close..really.

I'll even go to the other side just to block them so they're permanently out of my life. In these cases I have instantly decided that I will not ever have any interest in what that specific person has to say..call it prejudice.
However that was not in your case.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 2:23:25 PM

cpK69

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Thank you, all, for the helpful responses.

Just to touch on a few things…

I am often unsure of just how much I should say, and believe it is possible, in the past, I have said too much. However, maybe unclear stance and intent were more of an issue then how much information was given?

Color font (check)

Voices, not weird at all. *whistles, and attempts to look around nonchalantly*

No offense taken. I actually find it interesting. Possibly because I tend to do the same thing; having someone tell me, I have caused the same effect in them…. Well, maybe I’m just weird. (too?)

The “Weakness” thread was a fine example of where I sensed something was inaccurate about the way the word was being perceived, but was uncertain on how to approach.

I think working on a more direct approach, with less insinuation is in order.

quote:

...and I think you are deliberately choosing to misunderstanding what the.dark wrote -- your comment that your exchange with her convinced you that attention is the reason you should be posting seems disingenuous (at best) to me.

I think it is a possibility that I was unclear on what I meant by seeking attention. I am very glad I had that conversation with the.dark, and appreciative of her willingness to participate.

The attention I would be seeking is not meant to be aimed directly at me, more like at my main purpose (recently solidified as, ‘seeking truth’), through me. I hope that comes across as less offensive.

My thoughts on the ‘World Wide Cheers for Obama’ thread, were troubling to me, as well. I don’t know about cool, but I am hopeful of finding a light to stand in, where I can perhaps be seen as acceptable. I admire your ability to speak your mind in a fluent manner; I have resented myself for my inability, in the same regard. My apologies for taking it out on you, from time to time.

quote:

oh Kimmy-Kim-Kimminy-Kim..........

This made me laugh. It reminded me of one of the ‘forgotten’ mythologies I have looked into recently. (thread pending)

I understand E, it’s not so much that I have a need to be responded to, just that I realized I cannot know if what I am saying is being taken the way it was meant, if there are no responses. Since it seems, to me, there was a lack there of, I felt it was a good idea to ask, in case there were things I needed to improve upon.

I meant the word debate to mean passionate discussion, where participants may not agree; not an argumentative, ‘you can’t be right’ confrontation. I remember a thread where the topic was debating, the conclusion I drew from that thread was that debating was not a negative thing, unless the goal is being ‘right’ above, being ‘accurate’. Perhaps I was mistaken?

The point about who is responding, is a good one, the.dark.

I figured after three years, if I still weren’t getting it right; must be me.

I agree with your sentiments on attention and balance.

My best,

Kim

< Message edited by cpK69 -- 4/12/2009 2:25:43 PM >

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 10:41:29 PM

Termyn8or

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FR

Everyone who starts a thread here is looking for some attention, and that is not always bad, not at all. You want to put your ideas and opinions out here and get feedback from other, whether they agree, are undecided or think you are full of shit. You seems to see no reason to post if you don't get replies, but that is not true, that post lives in perpetuity until the day this site dies.

So it is not a futile effort, just post, see if something hits. I have asked myself similar questions actually. Do people have me blocked or is the subject matter I bring up simply uninterestiung to most ? What's more, looking back I see that I may have seemingly closed more posts than I have opened. Is this because my response was so enlightened and precise that it became rhetiorical on that ground ? I would tend to doubt that.

Some people need to have the last word, I don't even want the last word.

At times I believe I have brought up some of the most important aspects of life, but if others don't think so and they do not respond, what am I to do ? Nothing. You know the old saying about leading a horse to water.

But don't stop, we need more different subjects from differing viewpoints. Some of us are so sick of politics that those threads are really a last resort. Thing is if you keep trying you might create a monster, getting 150 replies overnight. But is that really the measure of the poster, or the relative interest of the others ?

T

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/12/2009 10:55:11 PM

cpK69

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I'll keep trying, T.

Kim

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/13/2009 11:25:19 AM

Jeptha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or
...I have asked myself similar questions actually. Do people have me blocked or is the subject matter I bring up simply uninterestiung to most ?...

I think most people wonder that at some point.

For one thing; I do have a limited amount of material that I can read on this site, so sometimes I exercise a kind of personal selection.

I find that some poster's thoughts and queries seem to be more aligned with my own (...or sometimes, just more provocative), so I pay more attention to their posts.

But I'll try and read other's writing at least sporadically, because I think that, generally, you can have a conversation or learn something from just about anybody,

And an interesting idea (-or a good example to follow or to flee, as they say) could come from anywhere.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/13/2009 1:27:50 PM

kidwithknife

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It's worth remembering that somebody not replying to one of your posts directly doesn't necessarily mean they're ignoring them. It might merely mean they don't think they have anything constructive to add.

To agree with the.dark (yet again

) it's also important to remember that it does make a difference how long you've been on a forum. Not just here, any forum that's been in existence for longer than a week. Regular posters have several advantages. Firstly, they're completely familiar with the general 'feel' of the forum. Secondly, they're already likely to have their own circle of friends and stuff like injokes etc. Thirdly, yep, regular posters will get away with more. Possibly unfair, but that's human nature for you.

In terms of getting attention for your posts, one of the ironies is that those who are best at that are generally the people who seem to care least about it. Just write what you find interesting and/or funny and hopefully some other people will agree. Trying to 'force' attention is a bad idea and comes across as false, even when you're being entirely genuine.

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RE: I sense that my posts are overlooked/avoided, by some. - 4/13/2009 2:06:10 PM

wisdomofgiving

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Hi OP
First, I must admit I am not really familiar with your posts, but that doesnt have anything to do with you. It's me, and I do not read a lot of threads, just the ones that draw my attention.

When I use to start a thread under 'oceanwynds', my only need at that time was to read others opinions, suggestions and advice. Some of the threads started by me had more responses then others, but I didn't really assume that the thread was this or that. It was my means to search for ideas that I could think on, and I never had that desired outcome failed. Many times when I would post on someone's thread, I was only offering an opinion, etc. without the need for it to be acknowledge. Many times typing out how I felt about something, brought clarity to issues I had at that time. Occassionally, when I remember, I might look at a post that I made on someone's else's thread to see if there anything else that caught my eye, or if someone replied to my post. 99% of the time no one responded to anything I posted, and honestly I never was concerned about it.

Within the last month, I have been posting under 'wisdomofgiving', and still take the attitude that i did under oceanwynds. If my advice aids someone, good, if not that is alright. I do not see it as a plus or minus, nor am I emotionally invested here at CM.

I am sorry but I cannot think of any ways to suggest on how to be noticed here. If this is important to you, then I do wish you success with it. My mind just isn't wired for that particular need.

Best of luck.

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