rudeness from a domme

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

rudeness from a domme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> rudeness from a domme

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 9:03:21 AM

danpi

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

Is a domme being disrespectful if she refuses to answer phone calls (protocol was established) as promised on such and such time and making you constantly call every 20 minutes though she refuses to answer? I am hurt by this kind of behavior and am considering leaving this person for someone who is less rude and more courteous. This person did not even leave a 15 second voice message nor did she email me, explaining that she had to change her plans. It's difficult for me to serve someone who is so careless like this.

Post #: 1

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 9:13:48 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Of course we don't even approach having the whole story here, so how could anyone possibly reply?
Is this on online and telephone only relationship? How long has this been going on? Could this be a test?

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 1/30/2006 9:14:08 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 2

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 9:21:34 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

Is a domme being disrespectful if she refuses to answer phone calls (protocol was established) as promised on such and such time and making you constantly call every 20 minutes though she refuses to answer? I am hurt by this kind of behavior and am considering leaving this person for someone who is less rude and more courteous. This person did not even leave a 15 second voice message nor did she email me, explaining that she had to change her plans. It's difficult for me to serve someone who is so careless like this.

I am agreeing with GoddessDustyGold in that we don't have nearly enough information here.

But going off of what little we've been given I will ask... since when does a Mistress HAVE to answer her phone? Maybe this is exactly what she wants? Her plans are subject to change at anytime, and who are you to think that you need to be informed? Does she answer to you? If a sub took this type of attitude with me, he just might be ignored by me for a while too. Kind of lets you know where you stand in the grand scheme of her life...doesn't it?

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 3

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 9:38:55 AM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

Is a domme being disrespectful if she refuses to answer phone calls (protocol was established) as promised on such and such time and making you constantly call every 20 minutes though she refuses to answer? I am hurt by this kind of behavior and am considering leaving this person for someone who is less rude and more courteous. This person did not even leave a 15 second voice message nor did she email me, explaining that she had to change her plans. It's difficult for me to serve someone who is so careless like this.

I'm going to go out on a limb here... although theres 3 sides to every story (his side, Her side, and what really happened) and both sides have very valid points....

I would start off by asking myself a few questions first...

1.. Have I done something to warrant this kind of "punishment" ?

As ridiculous (*sp) as this sounds.. what may seem minor to you.. may NOT be to Her

She is not there at your beck and call.. in fact.. the role is the quite opposite..

2.. Am I showing Her that I am needy?

She *MAY* find you to be a bit "needy" and this is one way that She is curbing it, lest it grow into something uncontrollable later on down the road

(again.. I'm just tossing random thoughts/points out there)

On a personal note.. yeah.. i consider myself a needy person, and would more than likely feel the same way. ( for some strange reason.. i feel like im "topping from the bottom" on this post :S go figure :S )

Anyways.. not sure if this brought out some valid points.. its just some things to consider

hope it helps :)

*V*

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 4

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 9:44:28 AM

danpi

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline

well rudeness is a limit for me...I don't play "test" games with people...she made a promise then she needs to keep it unless she lets me know that something came up....besides she is a pro domme...I pay her tribute...I don't have to serve her if I don't want.....she established the protocol but refused to adhere to it....that's a sign of a bad domme...someone who makes up rules along the way to cover their own ass

(in reply to yourMissTress)

Post #: 5

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:06:15 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

well rudeness is a limit for me...I don't play "test" games with people...she made a promise then she needs to keep it unless she lets me know that something came up....besides she is a pro domme...I pay her tribute...I don't have to serve her if I don't want.....she established the protocol but refused to adhere to it....that's a sign of a bad domme...someone who makes up rules along the way to cover their own ass

Here's new information -- she's a pro.

Maybe she's taken on more clients than she can realistically handle? Maybe she feels overwhelmed or just bloody tired? Maybe she's confusing clients? I don't know.

Frankly its up to you but I wouldn't be in a relationship where the promises weren't kept -- pro or otherwise. Actually it sounds quite un-professional to me.

I think you already know your answer. Find a different pro or find a non-pro. Might take time but clearly you are not getting what you want out of this arrangement.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 6

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:13:09 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

Here's new information -- she's a pro.

Maybe she's taken on more clients than she can realistically handle? Maybe she feels overwhelmed or just bloody tired? Maybe she's confusing clients? I don't know.

Frankly its up to you but I wouldn't be in a relationship where the promises weren't kept -- pro or otherwise. Actually it sounds quite un-professional to me.

I think you already know your answer. Find a different pro or find a non-pro. Might take time but clearly you are not getting what you want out of this arrangement.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Yep, and I bet that's not the last little tidbit of new information that springs up here.

I love the posts that start out whining with little info and as others attempt to help the OP gives them just enough additional info to belittle their advice. "I want help here" really is "I want to bitch and cry and take my anger and frustration out on everyone that's going to be nice and try to help me".

Hmm, any bets on how much more there is to just his side of the story? Will he add new information for every valid point? Or just the ones that he doesn't agree with? Gee, I'm sounding a bit jaded, and I only began reading these boards a few months ago....

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 7

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:17:34 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

well rudeness is a limit for me...I don't play "test" games with people...she made a promise then she needs to keep it unless she lets me know that something came up....besides she is a pro domme...I pay her tribute...I don't have to serve her if I don't want.....she established the protocol but refused to adhere to it....that's a sign of a bad domme...someone who makes up rules along the way to cover their own ass

Pro? Perhaps that needs more clarification.
I am a part time Pro and I can call a session fee anything I want from a session fee to tribute, if that's what makes a boy happy. hmmmmm...
But I don't give outside tasks to My clients either. They arrive for their appointment, they pay, they receive their session, they leave. No calls, no special rules. These are My clients, not My boys.
If you have some sort of agreement to tribute this Domina, but you are not specifically paying for certain arranged time with her, then I do not consider that a Pro. I consider that a Lady (maybe Dominant...maybe not) who has a live-out boy who is also paying tribute in the form of cash or other items per agreement.
That does not make a Pro.
You do sound awfully petulant and needy though. If you made some sort of agreement and this Lady is not meeting her end of the bargain, then you should end the relationship. I would never have started something of this nature in the first place. But we are all different, aren't we?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 8

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:29:45 AM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I would never have started something of this nature in the first place. But we are all different, aren't we?

Yes, and some of You are clearly a Goddess!

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 9

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:45:04 AM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

danpi,

Ds and Ms relationships should be healthy, just like vanilla ones. If she's not meeting your NEEDS (note: needs are different than wants), then she's not the one for you, Pro or not, tribute or not.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 10

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 10:59:56 AM

MissAli

Posts: 106
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

I'm right with GoddessDustyGold here. My personal boys and girls are treated MUCH different than clientele which are just that: they are paying me to work for them. I may play how I want during that time, but the reality is that I work as a service top.

Getting into tributes/payments/etc for phone time or email time can be tricky. Be sure you are establishing your own boundaries. Perhaps she is under the impression that you like such games, or that you want to be punished on your own time. In which case, either you were not clear in setting your limits, or she has betrayed them.

It seems odd for you to come on here and complain when you clearly have not only put yourself in this position, but have now even allowed yourself to STAY in this position. Hmmmm

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 11

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 7:17:42 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

well rudeness is a limit for me...I don't play "test" games with people...she made a promise then she needs to keep it unless she lets me know that something came up....besides she is a pro domme...I pay her tribute...I don't have to serve her if I don't want.....she established the protocol but refused to adhere to it....that's a sign of a bad domme...someone who makes up rules along the way to cover their own ass

WRONG ANSWER!!! You seem to be under the impression that because you pay someone a tribute that they are to be at your beck and call. If this is a sought after Pro Domme she is likely in session with another client or taking some personal space. Demanding anything of a Domme pro or not is setting yourself up for failure...and frankly making a VERY bad impression on the field from which you might try to pick another Domme.

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 12

RE: rudeness from a domme - 1/30/2006 7:44:15 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

well rudeness is a limit for me...I don't play "test" games with people...she made a promise then she needs to keep it unless she lets me know that something came up....besides she is a pro domme...I pay her tribute...I don't have to serve her if I don't want.....she established the protocol but refused to adhere to it....that's a sign of a bad domme...someone who makes up rules along the way to cover their own ass

You're right, you don't have to serve Her, but you did pay and you didn't have to, once the money left your hands everything was fair game and She doesn't have to adhere--as Goddess says, the real pros don't do outside assignments--

so take your lumps, lesson learned.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 13

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/1/2006 4:16:20 PM

MichMasochist

Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline

If I read this right. A date and time was set for a phone call to be made to a specific phone number of hers? At such time she then failed to follow thru with her end of the agreement?

Curious. Typical warning signs:
> She insist on payment by certified check or money order?
> Mailed to a P.O. Box; or other drop box?
> Was her phone number unlisted?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> If yes, grab your money and run.

____________________________________________________

In the last few years with more and more people on the enternet are jumping on the Pro domme game. Some con-artist have jioned in too. A Pro domme-trixie. It wasn't Mistress Jen4u was it? I've heard stories about her, (I don't know if they are true or not), very much like this one. Maybe she's using a new handle?

My suggestion is ask around, people you know. Have they had enteraction with her? if so, good bad or what?

If you ever go for a live seeion:

Some advise I got from lonewolfe and others. Is to interview the self alledged pro-fessional. Ask about her dungeon, is it a dungeon or a spare bed room or attic space? years of experience, what toys she has, enter personal fetishes here. What kind of neighborhood is she located in, you don't want to get mugged going to and from the session. Same for parking. If she is located in a residencial area the neighbors probably have filed complaints with the police. Let her know you'll ask around about her. If at any point she gets upset or goes postal, losing her professionalism, she most likely isn't a safe person to play with. So don't worry about it the internet is full of dommes, with new one pro-claiming themselves every day.

Join your local munch they will let you know who has earned a good reputation and who has a bad reputation. Word gets a around amongst munch groups.

One guy told me at a munch that he made an appointment with a pro and got the old mistress switch. Old being the key word, didn't look a thing like the picture she sent him. He said she could "make a dirt road get up and catch a train". I heard she went out of bussiness.

My personal favorite is Sheris ranch in Nevada. (www.sherisranch.com) They have or had a play room. Best reason I can give is the women are tested every week, and if your co-workers and family find out. They will think you went there for sex. If they find out you went to a pro you'll take a lot of crap that might cost you your job. The least of which is vanilla people will think your gay and went there to get your sh*t packed.

quote:

ORIGINAL: danpi

Is a domme being disrespectful if she refuses to answer phone calls (protocol was established) as promised on such and such time and making you constantly call every 20 minutes though she refuses to answer? I am hurt by this kind of behavior and am considering leaving this person for someone who is less rude and more courteous. This person did not even leave a 15 second voice message nor did she email me, explaining that she had to change her plans. It's difficult for me to serve someone who is so careless like this.

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 14

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/1/2006 4:22:51 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

If the phone call(s) were part of what you contracted her for, then demand your money back...if she is running a business, then treat it like any other business relationship. If you are not satisfied with the service, demand a refund & take your business elsewhere.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to MichMasochist)

Post #: 15

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/2/2006 6:29:18 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

If the phone call(s) were part of what you contracted her for, then demand your money back...if she is running a business, then treat it like any other business relationship. If you are not satisfied with the service, demand a refund & take your business elsewhere.

I fully agree with this statement.

If this was a professional dominant and the serviced paid for have not been fulfilled you should request a refund and certainly not use her services again.

Unfortunately given the nature of the business and the current political/social climate you probably won't get much legal help but you could always try small claims court if you feel inclined.

Or you can just take a deep breath, eat the cost and not use her services again.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 16

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/2/2006 6:53:11 AM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

you probably won't get much legal help but you could always try small claims court if you feel inclined

Yes, please try this. What a great episode of Judge Judy or Joe Brown this would make!

Fun for All!

st50

_____________________________

i want to be your ... #1 lowest common denominator.

Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 17

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/2/2006 7:28:45 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

quote:

you probably won't get much legal help but you could always try small claims court if you feel inclined

Yes, please try this. What a great episode of Judge Judy or Joe Brown this would make!

Fun for All!

st50

Whenever I've flipped over these shows and paused to see what they are about, it seems to me like they cover a really wide and weird range of issues.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to seaturtle50)

Post #: 18

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/3/2006 2:16:39 PM

yourcaptive

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

Hi,

i think Danpi has a good point. The point of his concern is RUDENESS, not the service.

Well... i also have to admit that i have talked to many Mistresses as well who are VERY rude in a way that they just leave You or never answer Your begging, questions, pleas, etc.... i mean, how hard it is to say "no", or "i am sorry i can't talk" or "i am sorry i am not interested"....

It is true that She is not obligated to answer him, especially if it is personal. But professional means service. And if service is not delivered, for which he paid for, then yes he should sue Her or demand the money back.
Professionalism is about GIVING service to the customer, which is why it is nothing like a real D/s relationship.
Professionalism is about making the customer happy.

i suggest that You never do professional services, if You are a true sub.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 19

RE: rudeness from a domme - 2/3/2006 3:04:17 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

The bottom line is, if you're not happy go seek another Pro. Personally, I feel your complaining about your Pro to be like complaining that your plumber was four hours late. It is a business relationship. If it pisses you off that the person you do business with has changes in her life that preclude you at times, then change with whom you do business. I really don't understand why you're complaining to us that your business relationship isn't to your liking.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to danpi)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> rudeness from a domme

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.092