Interesdom
Posts: 197
Joined: 5/24/2004
From: England
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LilithVonworren
Hello again everyone.
I am in a Women's, Gender, and Sexuality Studies course and will be doing my final essay on BDSM, in particular men and women's roles in a D/S relationship and how they can differ, or conform, to societal norms.
We also have to do a presentation in front of the class, which I am dreading. I'm afraid that it will be terribly awkward and my classmates will look at me differently after wards. My teacher, however, fully supports my topic and I have an inkling that she might be into BDSM herself. She's even going to lend me some books.
I was hoping to find some concrete information on the percentage of male submissives vs female submissives, and male doms vs female dommes.
Does anyone know where I would be able to find it?
I would also like any other books and websites that helped you learn about BDSM and how it relates to your gender, sexuality, and life in general.
Finally, any tips on how to make my class mate comfortable with this subject? That is partly the goal of my essay and presentation. They are all college students, obviously, and most seem fairly open, but I'm still a bit paranoid.
You can approach bondage from the vanilla aspect quite easily. Many, if not most, of your classmates will either have been involved in some playing around with bondage, or had fantasies triggered by distressed damsels in films, cartoons etc. Bondage is quite common in standard literature and television.
I like Lockit's advice about approaching D/s from the animal kingdom and another approach is to take it out of standard society - we all are dominant and all are submissive under certain situations (I tend to use parenting and policing as examples) and when it comes to personal relationships, rarely is there a complete power balance, even if it is not actively intended. People in D/s intend for their to be a power imbalance, that's all. Taking D/s from this sort of angle should hopefully leave people remaining receptive even when you go on to talk about the greater power exchange modes.
You could approach S&M from the aspect of where is the boundary between pleasure and pain. Most of your female (and some of the male) classmates will know that they can get pleasure from having their nipples played with and will also know that there comes a time when play becomes painful. Some of them will have already found that when it is painful, there is also a pleasure to it. The same will go for men's cocks being manipulated. Not everyone will get it (I don't) but enough will understand.
For some sympathetic coverage of various aspects of BDSM, I recommend the Wipipedia. It balances out the rather stodgy and disapproving tone of the same topics on Wikipedia. You can also find links to various books and many other websties from the Wipipedia.
I do not know where you would get concrete percentages from. Even if you were to ask the CollarMe management, all they could give you is the number of profiles of each, which contains so many fakes that the figures couldn't really be trusted. At a GUESS, I'd say the percentages are something like:
Male Dominants 30
Male Submissives 20
Female Dominants 10
Female Submissives 40
This is by no means scientific and I only state it for you as a starting guide, if you have none other. If you wanted to know what proportion of submissives are slaves, or what proportion of dominants are owners, I think you would have a great deal of difficulty, given the flexibility of the usage of the terms.
I am happy to help more by private e-mail and would be interested in seeing your essay.
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RE: BDSM Education: An Essay. Help? - 
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