RE: Honest Advice

RE: Honest Advice (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> RE: Honest Advice (4/16/2009 6:12:58 PM)
I rarely look at a profile, even when one is viewing me. When I do it is because I saw the brief profile showing up on the main page because they were on at the same general time I am here. If their profile seems like they are whole.. not just bdsm, not just dominant, sadist, ect.. but a reality based male, and they seem like someone I would want to talk to as an equal.. THEN I will look at the profile. In addition my criteria for what I see is only local, no long distance at all. Not because I am looking, but because if I was going to find some compatibility they should be local. And.. lol I am always casting a line out to nab new members for my bdsm group. I have gotten a few from here to join us. Kyst

lalbobbilynn -> RE: Honest Advice (4/16/2009 6:50:55 PM)
i look for You ..... a written portion is equally as important as a picture, imho. How You see You ...... in Your vernacular, tone, and the photo You choose speaks volumes about what You seek as well as who You are choosing to present ..... or what You are choosing to keep hidden ....... there are times the last two points are one in the same. Good Luck! b.~

L00king4myDaddy -> RE: Honest Advice (4/16/2009 8:07:17 PM)
this is what i seek: ~honesty ~a full profile ~spelling/grammar ~don't ask me questions where the answers are clearly in my profile ~don't ask me for a photo straight up the first message ~no one liners...who wants to feel like you are one of many being browsed? ~show your down to earth side ~please don't try to cyber sex me..i want to build a relationship first hope that helps :)

Scotty306134 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/16/2009 10:06:23 PM)
Hi SirSvafnir... When I browse or search profiles i first look for someone within reasonable meeting distance, then check out their role.. Dom/sub/switch. When I find a Dom/me or switch I check their age and interests. If their profile isn't filled out or is sketchy I usually don't go much farther.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Honest Advice (4/17/2009 5:01:49 AM)
when i was looking, i tend to look for a well-rounded individual with similar interests/hobbies/etc beyond BDSM than someone who was too hung up on sex and only sex 24/7. major turnoff in my book sex is nice and all that however it's not the main focal point in the type of relationship i was seeking.

Kana -> RE: Honest Advice (4/17/2009 5:31:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl when i was looking, i tend to look for a well-rounded individual with similar interests/hobbies/etc beyond BDSM than someone who was too hung up on sex and only sex 24/7. major turnoff in my book sex is nice and all that however it's not the main focal point in the type of relationship i was seeking. Shit. I'm a dead man. ~laughs~

BossyShoeBitch -> RE: Honest Advice (4/17/2009 5:49:04 AM)
Look at other profiles as well. All across the spectrum. It can give you some sort of starting off point and a better idea of what may work and doesn't work. Oh and add me to the HeavansKeeper fan club!!

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/17/2009 5:56:49 AM)
Op started this thread 4 days ago and although he said it was good advice....still no content on his profile. Hmmm?[8\|]

jamelia1959 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 3:50:07 AM)
I personally look for intelligence above all other things. Also, I am totally offput by those kinds of Doms who think it's all about them. I've never found narcissists particularly attractive anywhere and no less so here. IMO a narcissist is in fact the opposite of a Master - but to each their own. Good luck.

Dichotomite -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 4:02:26 AM)
I disagree...a master must be a narcissist, with the confidence and demeanor that comes with it. I, as a dom, have put myself in a position to accept your subservience. I thank you the same way I thank the McD's guy for my fries. But he was serving me to earn his thanks, just as Sub earns hers. The ego must be there...cover and sugarcoat it all you want. Romanticise it any way you please. But it's there, underneath, at the center of your relationship. One rules the other. Furthermore, anyone, ANYONE, who says sex is "nice and all" man or woman, has never had truly great sex. ....IMO.

sirsholly -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 4:07:47 AM)
quote: a master must be a narcissist, i totally disagree

kazzaslave -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 4:23:19 AM)
kazza really disagrees with this. she knows many doms who aren't narcissistic at all but are very effective dominants. Doms tend to care for their sub/slave, something a narcissist probably wouldn't do. kazza is guessing that you are new to the lifestyle aren't you? Also, the guy who serves you at McDonald's tends to serve people because it's his JOB. It's doubtful he's there looking for praise. kazza

Dichotomite -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 6:06:58 AM)
pfffft

camille65 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 6:48:51 AM)
Narcissists are boring. They live only for themselves and are unable to be empathetic in their communications with others. They have no balance. Balance is my top requirement.

GreedyTop -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 9:39:04 AM)
I'd like to think that my partner values my service from my heart more highly than the service he pays for. I agree with Camille... balance is a must.

catize -> RE: Honest Advice (4/18/2009 12:41:05 PM)
I don’t browse through profiles but I read the short versions that float by on the home page. If I was looking for a relationship these are things dominant men say in their introductory sentence that would make me skip over their profile: “Don’t waste my time.” I always wonder how anyone would know if it would be a waste of time or not until you have spent some time getting acquainted! “My profile needs to be filled out but I’m a procrastinator.” That certainly doesn’t fill me with much confidence! “If you think I’m going to do XYZ for you, you just don’t get it.” I get it, all right, and what I get is the feeling the guy is a real jerk! “Just looking around to see what this is all about.” Gives me the impression he has profiles on every dating site in the universe trying to get laid. “Looking for a discrete relationship.” Screams Married! Married! Married! “You will (or won’t) do XYZ.” Presumptive and over bearing in my mind! What I do find attractive is a positive conversational introduction that includes “hooks” to draw me in. Someone who comes across as friendly and makes it apparent that he is a person rather than a caricature of domliness.

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