Dealing with a married Sub.

Dealing with a married Sub. (Full Version)

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MISTRESSHUNTER -> Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 10:12:00 PM)
I have been dealing with Married subs for years. I have never had a bad experince. I recently took on a new Sub as a personal pet . He is married , well since he is new at this he left a conversation box open and his wife read it. She of course accussed him of cheating . My sub became quite the ballsy one and told her he was a submissive male and I was a Domme Female and that was something he needed. I told him I think he has lost his dam mind., Do I go with my gut feeling and release him before he ends up in divorce court or do I let him continue to serve me as he has begged to do and let him take responsibility if it ends badly?

SingleRarity -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 10:14:00 PM)
Why would you want a liar and cheat to serve you? Daddy's Ballerina, e

Lockit -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 10:21:12 PM)
Are you prepared to handle whatever the wife does? From finding more things he has left behind to what he might admit... like your address, phone number and such? How about that wife that sued her husbands mistress for alienation of affection that was in the news... I saw another on a television program. One married the other woman and she had to make regular payments to his ex wife. The other sent the man packing and was trying to have some sort of life while paying the wife. How about just being named in a divorce with lil people and the bdsm is brought into it and he loses everything? Play with fire long enough... somebody might get burned. But how do you feel? Why married men who's wive's don't know? Let him continue serving you as he begs to do... he will take responsiblity... okay.. sure.. like leaving an open messenger with wifey pooh in the house. Lying and sneaking around isn't fine becasue you don't get caught and not fine when you do. There is a bigger picture here and nobody is seeing it... so why worry about it now?

heartbound -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 10:49:08 PM)
First, I don't think you are responsible for maintaining the relationship between your sub and his wife. However, playing with someone who is married when you know that they are dishonest with their spouse...that is a recipe for disaster. -heartbound

AlexandraLynch -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 11:08:58 PM)
I have discovered the hard way that I don't like to be the "other woman", even in vanilla situations; it, so to speak, tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I would not take on a sub in a relationship unless I met his wife and she told me that she was okay with him getting his kink on with me and we discussed any parameters that she wanted to put on it for her own comfort (i.e., he will not have sex with me, but I will occasionally let him masturbate to orgasm in front of me, or he will be allowed to orally service me and I will be able to manipulate him manually for CBT, but there will be no penetrative sex, or he calls from my house when he gets there and when he leaves, etc.), because otherwise it isn't really fair to her to put her in a polyamorous situation without her being able to have a voice on her needs and comfort zone.

SailingBum -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/14/2009 11:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER *I have been* dealing with Married subs for years. I have never had a bad experince. I recently took on a new Sub as a personal pet . He is married , well since he is new at this he left a conversation box open and his wife read it. She of course accussed him of cheating . My sub became quite the ballsy one and told her he was a submissive male and I was a Domme Female and that was something he needed. I told him I think he has lost his dam mind., Do I go with my gut feeling and release him before he ends up in divorce court or do I let him continue to serve me as he has begged to do and let him take responsibility if it ends badly? Ehhh this might be fun!!! You have been playing with fire maybe it's time you got burnt. Were I in a evil mood. I would explain to the unsuspecting wife to contact the OP via email showing up at her house, Place of employment blah blah blah. So you go on dealing with married folks BadOne

MissAnimus -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 1:36:36 AM)
New people are overly paranoid (in my experience). I doubt he "accidentally" left a window open. I think he used you to start something with his wife. And it worked.

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 1:47:02 AM)
am not impressed with dominatrixes taking on married subs without even discussing this with their clients wives first so in my opinion, you had it coming - but that's just me...

Goddess2002 -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 2:49:37 AM)
I have a friend who carried on this type of relationship until the spouse shot at him through his window. Missed his head by less than a foot. Personally I think if you stay with him you are just asking for trouble...I agree with MissAnimus. I think he used you to start something with his wife. Being new at this has nothing to do with "absentmindedly" leaving a conversation box open.

antipode -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 3:22:54 AM)
quote: My sub became quite the ballsy one and told her he was a submissive male and I was a Domme Female and that was something he needed. Or that is what he told you. As far as him taking responsibility is concerned, is there anyone else who would? His marriage is his own problem, and as others have noted there is of course no telling what the wife will do. But since married men seem to float your boat, you don't appear to have much of an option, this was going to happen at some point anyway.

LaTigresse -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 3:48:48 AM)
I am trying to imagine what some of the married women I know would do........... For your sake, I hope you are already out in your community, or have nothing at all to lose by being so. Cuz.......chances are, your gonna be and it ain't gonna be pretty. For his sake, I hope he has no material wealth or possessions he values, cuz he very well may lose them. Short people he probably will be seeing a lot less off. A job that he may lose. And a possiblity of some cock and ball torture like he never imagined in his wildest dreams. If I was a woman in a less than thrilling marriage, what a windfall this would be!

LadyPact -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 4:21:09 AM)
When you say "new to this" do you mean new as a sub or new to the cheating thing? Either way, you'd better hope that his wife is new to the revenge thing. If you're dealing with married people who are not being honest with their spouse at home, you are asking for whatever you get when the wife finds out about you. I think that's all I'd better say about the subject, since I find that My comments would be influenced by My personal morality.

sirsholly -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 4:39:17 AM)
i think when his wife kicks his cheating ass out with only the shirt on his back, he really needs to show up on your doorstep. You two deserve each other

badlilthang -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 4:51:08 AM)
quote: I have been dealing with Married subs for years. I have never had a bad experince. quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER *any particular reason you prefer liars and cheaters before a solid, honest and good sub to build something with? Is it easier to dump the married ones when you tire of them - thinking they would not be able to do anything or say anything to prevent it - or??? What goes around comes around, it says - and it is coming your way now...in my opinion - every relationship should be built on integrity, trust and above all - respect and honesty - i actually think you missed all of those.*

stella41b -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 5:19:00 AM)
Ah you see this is what happens when you deal with married folk, you get the shitty end of the stick while they use the marriage as leverage to get what they want out of the deal. But why deal with someone who has no respect for their primary relationship? Isn't this a bit like the loser subs who can only spare 4 hours a week but expect 24/7/365 TPE? The only thing your sub is submissive to is his dick - that is the reality which you now have to deal with.

MissJanice2 -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 5:21:39 AM)
*If his wife has proof of this relationship, she can use it in court. I did and won.* *Never, ever, fool with a married sub.* *Best wishes,* MJ quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER I have been dealing with Married subs for years. I have never had a bad experince. I recently took on a new Sub as a personal pet . He is married , well since he is new at this he left a conversation box open and his wife read it. She of course accussed him of cheating . My sub became quite the ballsy one and told her he was a submissive male and I was a Domme Female and that was something he needed. I told him I think he has lost his dam mind., Do I go with my gut feeling and release him before he ends up in divorce court or do I let him continue to serve me as he has begged to do and let him take responsibility if it ends badly?

NearlyAcquiesced -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 5:30:04 AM)
I am a married sub and I am open and upfront with my husband about my needing a Dom. We term our relationship "open", if you will. There is still no way in hell I'd play or partner with a married/coupled Dom who was not honest with his partner/spouse.

DarkSteven -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 5:51:22 AM)
I just perved your profile. You yourself are married, and you charge. You've been on cm for four years, and this is your first post, so I assume that you joined to get clients. Amazingly, your profile states that you want someone to serve you 24/7 - so why are you even thinking about married men? Dump him. He's about to become whiny and needy. He may blame you. Worst of all, he may not be able to pay your fees and tributes. And look within yourself. Note that neither of the two alternative courses of actions you mentioned involve you feeling a shred of responsibility. That's NOT cool in a D type.

subangi -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 6:41:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER *He is married , well since he is new at this he left a conversation box open and his wife read it. She of course accussed him of cheating .* I consider it a form of cheating. If you dont want someone to find out something.... you cover your tracks, and are very careful and double check to make sure. I would think you put yourself at risk if you continue to see this man, and she could very well be the type of person who may follow him and cause a very uncomfortable situation for you.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Dealing with a married Sub. (4/15/2009 6:44:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSHUNTER I have been dealing with Married subs for years. I have never had a bad experince. I recently took on a new Sub as a personal pet . He is married , well since he is new at this he left a conversation box open and his wife read it. She of course accussed him of cheating . My sub became quite the ballsy one and told her he was a submissive male and I was a Domme Female and that was something he needed. I told him I think he has lost his dam mind., Do I go with my gut feeling and release him before he ends up in divorce court or do I let him continue to serve me as he has begged to do and let him take responsibility if it ends badly? Hello MistressHunter, I've dealt with a former sub who is married, I didn't have to meet his wife to know that he had been open about it from the beginning, and she allowed him to do D/s even went with him to party's. So it's possible that it can work, but when subs hide it? I wouldn't want to be involved with them, simply because I don't want to be lied too Myself. So I don't treat others that way. Honesty above all. If you could get in trouble this way.. Then I would suggest you to get out. B safe. GoddezzT`

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