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BlouLady -> Just a quick question (1/31/2006 6:24:49 AM)

I need some help explaining to my Sir about aftercare. How do you take care of your "pets,subs,slaves,ect.." after a scene?



Arpig -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 6:27:34 AM)

It depends on the scene and her reaction to it. It varies to lots of cuddling & reassuring and expressions of love to watching tv together, to heading out to do groceries. After care is one part where the Dom has to play it by ear and give the sub what he/she needs.

The common theme I find is being together, and relaxing the D/s aspects of the relationship, basically a little quality downtime with your partner. But there is no magic formula, it all depends on the sub's needs and likes/dislikes.

As an example: I am sure many would consider being allowed a long soak in the tub while quietly talking to be a perfect form of aftercare, but my sub HATES baths, so in our case it would be anything but



Leonidas -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 6:57:06 AM)

quote:

I need some help explaining to my Sir about aftercare. How do you take care of your "pets,subs,slaves,ect.." after a scene?


A friend that edana met through here came to the house a couple of days ago. After a few hours of watching her interact with me I heard her ask edana "do you live like this ALL THE TIME??". I guess she was waiting for the Master/slave scene to end.

Does this mean that edana is going to need aftercare in the afterlife?



desoutter -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 7:11:22 AM)

Alright this is my third attempt at this...
It is difficult to jump right to the after care without knowing what was happening leading up to it... different sessions / scenes require different types of 'aftercare' -
so Ill just give you a sample of an average aftercare...

massage is a big thing with me - after intense rope or being bound for a period of time - I like to give a good massage over the whole body - just to get the blood going and relax the sub - (if the intensity of the session is high - maybe a bath and massage).

Talking to the sub - having her relate to me what worked and what didnt - in her own time and fashion - (if you jump right into it after a session sometimes its tough to describe without some time to think about it)... (talking is also important during the session).

Short story long - whatever I need to do to calm, soothe, relax the sub or if she wants to get up and go to the club - thats fine too!

I like everything to be quiet and soothing... then a walk maybe... a late dinner?... go to sleep? run up and down the street naked? lol - whatever

desoutter



OscarHargraves -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 7:25:30 AM)

Usually Kari just wants to be held for several minutes. Soft caresses with my fingers on her skin and some soothing words while she 'catches her breath' is almost always enough. I have to agree with Arpig though. This is where the Dom had better be alert and paying attention. He/she needs to know how his/her Sub is doing and what she needs in the line of aftercare.



Heinz -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 7:44:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady

I need some help explaining to my Sir about aftercare. How do you take care of your "pets,subs,slaves,ect.." after a scene?


Sart looking fot a good Master I would say!!!!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 7:54:44 AM)

Well what is it that YOU feel you need after a scene? Do you need water? Cuddling? Time apart? Time to chat? Do you need after care right after a scene? The day after? A week after? Do you need to talk or be quiet? Do you need to be warmed?

Just sit and talk. What everyone needs is different. ANd don't forget to ask him what he needs too.



MrThorns -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 8:06:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady

I need some help explaining to my Sir about aftercare. How do you take care of your "pets,subs,slaves,ect.." after a scene?


I guess my response is something like what Leonidas had mentioned.

I always care for my pet, regardless of what is going on. If she's cold, I warm her. If she's sick, I try to help her get well. If she's bleeding..mmm..I will eventually tend her wounds...with generous amounts of Purell. It's a continuous process.

Here are a few suggestions that may answer your questions:

Get a big blanket and just lie there together after the session with lots of close contact.
Massage.
Sit together and just talk about the scene, how you felt, things you might do next time.
Put on some soft music and eat a light snack together...
Take time to recover toys...clean them with care and do it gracefully...ritualistically.

Hope that helps.

~Thorns



amayos -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 9:28:46 AM)

Hold them, kiss them, let them cry, keep them warm and safe. Converse. Stroke her, pet her. Tell her how pleased you are with her.




BlouLady -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 10:17:28 AM)

Thank you all for responding.I'll be sure to show him your posts.Aftercare is very important to me. I appreciate everyones insite



greeneyes1962 -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 10:49:30 AM)

not everyone is the same, and have the same needs for aftercare. it's very individual.

i just need to mostly be left alone except for being offered a glass of juice or something.




Rayne58 -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 5:41:57 PM)

Gentle stroking, a drink of water, a kiss and cuddle, lots of smiles [:)]
Sometimes He will let me curl up and have a nap, depending on how intense the scene was.



floorkitten -> RE: Just a quick question (1/31/2006 6:19:26 PM)

the following is taken from an article written by Master on Orchestrating a Scene. (Orchetrating a Scene)

slave shevah travels the U.S. doing many presentations and seminars - fortunately, she is a friend and has permitted us to use the following in Master's article....

Aftercare

You are now done with the implements and have your bottom unbound. But – the scene is not over. Do not forget that aftercare is as
important to the scene as everything else previously discussed.

The following is an excerpt (reprinted with permission) from a workshop that subshevah has held and holds throughout the country on

AFTERCARE, she says it best -


A - Attentiveness – This includes intimacy: cuddling, caressing, hugging, kissing, massaging, and whispers. Free the
bottom from bondage….

F - Fortify – Your body’s needs: hydrate by drinking water or juice, eating food, sugar, medications, and nicotine….

T - Transition – A huge Power Exchange took place. Develop a way to empower yourself. Reclaim the power dynamics

within your relationship. Refocus your temperament. Find the balance in your roles….
E - Express – Giving & showing gratitude to your partner(s) is paramount in emphasizing the scene had meaning….

R - Recovery – It takes time to: sober up, decompress, collect one’s thoughts, and recuperate in order to be independent
again….

C - Communicate – Be supportive and listen to each other….

A - Analyze – Understand your feelings: hurts, pains, euphoria, disappointments, regrets, and pleasures….

R - Reflect – A critical reflection upon the scene is a natural process and should be explored by both players….

E - Explore – Future possibilities to play again with this person….



© shevah~ 6/04 Email: [email protected] Website: http://ds-arts.com/shevah


Good aftercare is the responsibility of both parties involved.

Be a good Top, learn to understand where your bottom is and they will want to play again.

If you ever have the opportunity to attend this workshop - I would highly recommend it.

~kitten



cravinspankin -> RE: Just a quick question (2/1/2006 7:40:32 AM)

This was posted some time back.
I, as wel as several friends, thought it was good material.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_25143/mpage_1/key_aftercare/tm.htm#25143



xxblushesxx -> RE: Just a quick question (2/1/2006 7:55:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Hold them, kiss them, let them cry, keep them warm and safe. Converse. Stroke her, pet her. Tell her how pleased you are with her.




This is my favorite answer so far...

v v nice!



Marquisd -> RE: Just a quick question (2/2/2006 12:46:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Heinz


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady

I need some help explaining to my Sir about aftercare. How do you take care of your "pets,subs,slaves,ect.." after a scene?


Sart looking fot a good Master I would say!!!!

yeah I was thinking the same thing

cheers

Marquisd



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