at a pace (Full Version)

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InTonguesslave -> at a pace (4/18/2009 8:09:45 AM)

hi,

i have mentioned before that Sir has a personality trait that means he is going at a pace i find hard to keep up with sometimes.  he is forever looking beyond to the next project, the next thing and it seems to me sometimes that he is unable to stop and enjoy the present time.  its like an itch he cant scratch. 

is this part of being dominant for some of you.  some sort of driving force that keeps you looking to the horizon for the next challenge/goal/kick.

or have we landed up with a pathological doer - i wonder sometimes if he is capable of feeling satisfied with life and that bothers me a little.  but if its something inherent in D types then i would like to understand it.  on whatever level.

i have come across this before with Dtypes, but not to quite the same degree.

thanks in advance.



RCdc -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 8:25:21 AM)

I always say that Darcy is on constant.  He is always looking towards the next project, the next trip, the next night out.  His idea of relaxing is doing something.  I wouldn't say he has an inability to 'switch off' but if he attempts it, he just gets bored out of his skull.
 
Sometimes I have seen people assume that dominants are lazy people who simply want someone to cater for their every whim.  Thats like the myth of dominance.  I have found that the vast majority of dominant people are 'go getters' who thrive on doing.
 
the.dark.



InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 8:42:53 AM)

thanks .dark,

thinking about it my dad is exactly the same and he is definitely a D type.  must be something in their chromosomes [:D]



RavenMuse -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 8:52:20 AM)

I can certainly 'stop and smell the roses' but if I'm focused on doing something don't get in My way because I simply won't stop until I compleat it. I admit I was a workaholic when I was younger, to the detriment of My then relationships, I've taught Myself to MAKE time, to relax and take life at a slower pace. However once I take on something then the old focus and drive kicks in till I've seen it through. 



InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 9:28:40 AM)

hi RM, thanks.

i think its a skill to stop and smell the roses and i think that maybe it takes time and a sort of arrival to realise that there is more to life than chassing the next best thing.  life goes by so fast anyway, why join it.

i spose i was a bit this way too once, having a kid slows you down and teaches you to enjoy the here and now cos the here and now is so brief.

i worry a little that Sir is missing out on the roses a bit as he belts along at high speed, glancing back once in a while to see where misst and i are.  im the one with the roses and she's the one with the coffee (or vice versa, she can hold the roses if she likes, im not fussy) [:)]



RavenMuse -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 9:52:16 AM)

It was looking at why those relationships didn't work and My part in them getting FUBAR'ed that made Me realise I needed to slow down... after all what is the point of chasing something if You don't then take the time to appreciate it once You have caught it. The thrill of what is caught IS better than the thrill of the chase!



agirl -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 10:56:11 AM)

If M wasn't doing or arranging stuff we'd be the most indolent of people when thrust together. Thank goodness he's a human dynamo because I most certainly am not.

I am curious why you have to keep up with him though, or why it bothers you? I trundle along in M's wake with a bemused look on my face enjoying it all in my own way. It's not my problem if he lives life with his *on* switch on the up. I have an *off* switch and use it a lot ......lol



agirl





chamberqueen -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 11:08:29 AM)

Lally, I don't think it is much a Dominant or submissive trait as simply a human characteristic of some people.  I've seen subs that want to move ahead at a manic pace, too.  This seems especially true as they are working their way toward a collar.

We all need to take time to enjoy the space we're in at the time, but some people seem hard wired to always be looking ahead and to push the pace.  That doesn't mean that you can't enjoy a Master who moves at a faster pace than you are used to.  If nothing else, you will know that there will always be surprises waiting for you.  : )



InTonguesslut -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 11:24:29 AM)

quote:

i have mentioned before that Sir has a personality trait that means he is going at a pace i find hard to keep up with sometimes.  he is forever looking beyond to the next project, the next thing and it seems to me sometimes that he is unable to stop and enjoy the present time.  its like an itch he cant scratch. 


I don't see this personality trait in Sir so much as i think you do. He is always looking for the next challenge in his working life, but aren't we all or most? I think he looks a lot at your next challenge in your working life too, i'm aware he's working on stuff with you now. He leaves my working life to me though, he's very relaxed about it.
From what Sir and you have said about your time together it also looks like he is always looking for something to do, be it going to the market, a walk in the woods etc etc.
With me he is quite happy to be a home body and just laze around doing very little. He takes more time to 'smell the roses with me', perhaps too much time.
I think perhaps you give him the 'get up and go's' and i give him the 'lay like brocollis' (sp) lol.
Neither one is a bad thing but perhaps you feel like every step forward towards a new challenge is a step away from you. I know sometimes i feel every step Sir and i don't take towards a new challenge is just a step into stagnation.



agirl -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 1:57:04 PM)

 It's interesting to watch other people's relationship's play out for all to see.

agirl



InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 3:05:18 PM)

yes. sorry.  im not doing this anymore.  thanks angel for youre advice. x



InTonguesslut -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 4:38:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 It's interesting to watch other people's relationship's play out for all to see.

agirl



Well forgive me for saying that i did not actually feel the same way about the op's opinion on Sir out pacing us. I was mentioned in the op as feeling the same and i don't. I gace the reasons i dont feel the same whilst trying to support Lally.



DesFIP -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 6:01:41 PM)

He moves faster than I do. The important thing here is that he doesn't expect me to keep up with him. He needs 5-6 hours sleep a night. I need more. He's learned that I have to be allowed to get my hours of sleep if I can function. And although he will work through meals, it isn't a good thing to expect others to. The rest of us need our physical needs attended to which is fine as long as we bring it to his attention; tell him we need a break. He's this way with the offspring, he's learned that if he wants them to help on a project then there had better be sandwiches ready ahead of time so they can stop when hungry.



agirl -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 9:21:13 PM)

No advice .....just an observation. Take care , seriously.

agirl



littlewonder -> RE: at a pace (4/18/2009 9:29:33 PM)

Master is always looking for the next challenge or goal to the point where he makes my head spin and I'm always wondering where he gets his energy from. I definitely can't keep up with him but I don't try to either.

We both have different paces. I just worry sometimes that he needs to slow down so he won't wear himself down.



InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/19/2009 3:59:50 AM)

[:)] - ive realised i dont need to keep up either - phew!! what a relief [:D] -



RavenMuse -> RE: at a pace (4/19/2009 4:20:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

[:)] - ive realised i dont need to keep up either - phew!! what a relief [:D] -


Quite so, unless your Master decides He wants you alongside every step of the way then you have no need to do so. If He hasn't got a problem with it then there IS NO problem.



InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/19/2009 11:19:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

yes. sorry.  im not doing this anymore.  thanks angel for youre advice. x


i just need to qualify something here.  its taken me all day to see it, but now i do.

this response was actually more to do with an email i received on the other side from angel asking me to consider posting before exposing Sir to public scrutiny and that i cannot and never will understand him and that i should just go with it and relax.

agirls response was to misst, but i missed that, i assumed it was toward the post as a whole, by agreeing with her it appeared that i was discounting misst, and i would never ever knowingly do that to her.  my agreement was to the fact that this thread is innappropriate and that i wont be posting private things regarding Sir anymore.

this may get up some peoples hooters as yet again exposing our private affairs but misst is more important to me than those who might take exception to this and i wanted to just put this publicly straight.

thank you for just letting this thread slide into the dusty chasms of collarme's past threads.



agirl -> RE: at a pace (4/19/2009 11:40:45 AM)

I was speaking generally.......it wasn't*in reply to*.  But I often forget the *FR*.

I didn't know if you were speaking to me or not for the same reason but I thought the *angel* was odd....lol

All the same, I think angel gave you sound advice there....watches the dust settle...

agirl





InTonguesslave -> RE: at a pace (4/19/2009 11:51:50 AM)

thanks hun, made a pooey mess of things again...... waiting for the dust ........ come on!!!



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