Why do I need to be humiliated? (Full Version)

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destinedto -> Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 8:43:59 PM)

I don't understand why I feel the need to be called a nasty slut by my Mistress. I literally yearn for it. Can anyone explain this feeling to me??



Arpig -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 8:48:44 PM)

It is. Accept it, embrace it...as humiliation goes it isn't all that far out. Relax and enjoy



catize -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 8:57:36 PM)

It may be that you are attempting to overcome psychological issues rooted in childhood.
Then again, maybe it is just hawt for you!



AngelGeena -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 8:59:17 PM)

Don't worry about why....if you love it, then thats what matters.



SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 9:21:10 PM)

that's it? if that was the extent of my desire to be humiliated, it would make my life significantly easier. I sometimes think about why I crave/need the things I think about so much, but in the end don't ever come up with answers, so I try and just accept it and move on. Too much dwelling on things will drive you nuts. 



jamelia1959 -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/18/2009 10:34:06 PM)

I can only share my own feelings and experience, which may be helpful.  I think humiliation can be psychologically very liberating, like letting all your inhibitions go, letting in a sense the pure animal side of you come out, breaking down all the old conditioning which is often a kind of a bondage in itself.  I think this is especially true of sexual barriers, if you've led a rather prim and proper life.  In a way you become broken down and stripped bare - and it can feel very freeing.

I think it's kind of a catharthis, and it can be just darn hot as someone else mentioned and that's reason enough in itself to do it!  Good luck.



antipode -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 1:40:43 AM)

quote:

Can anyone explain this feeling to me??


And you seriously expect that a bunch of people that don't know you can explain your feelings to you? If you truly would like useful comments, you should make an effort to give some information about yourself and your predilections. Oneliners don't work, and show a lack of effort.



masmiss -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 3:44:43 AM)

Overanalyzing every aspect of your bdsm relationship will turn the whole thing into a sort of clinical experiment.  Big turn-off.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 4:25:54 AM)

Whether or not this applies to you, you will need to determine yourself.

Several people I've spoken with have told me that being called a slut or a whore allows them to feel like a sexual object, and that being wanted or used for sexuality is a stress relief after being used by employers and family and other people for other purposes.  It can be quite nice to feel like a piece of meat with the purpose of satiating someones primal urges rather than feeling like a handyman repairing a clogged sink.

I hope that at least allows you to examine your own reasons a bit further.



Drifa -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 9:11:46 AM)

For me, that kind of language during a scene or during sex is a big turn on because it's transgressive... these are not things one says in public in front of the vanilla.  The terms land in your subconscious and all the ingrained taboos about the "words that can't be said" creates tension.



MsDDom -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 11:47:17 AM)

i can't...
it is probably one of those self-realization questions u have to truly sit and ponder. [:)]



slvemike4u -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 11:51:57 AM)

Explain it to you?...no I can't do that.Hell I can't even figure out all me own little predilections...despite years of pondering self analyisis and introspection.After all that the best I could come up with is...fuck it...it is what it is...so enjoy it.



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 4:57:15 PM)

Because its yummy!

(Duh!)



crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 9:20:52 PM)

i honestly don't know why you have that need, just as i don't know why i love to be humiliated.  All i know is i do, so just suck it up and enjoy.  Have fun.



HeavansKeeper -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 11:38:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

Overanalyzing every aspect of your bdsm relationship will turn the whole thing into a sort of clinical experiment.  Big turn-off.


I disagree. Social sciences make me hot! I would love if every kink could be traced back to a childhood experience, oh what fun we would have pressing buttons! (I'm being 100% sincere).

Humiliation is particularly attractive in this regard. Joy from humiliation has many roots, but I have a favorite. It allows for safe exploration of critical truths.

We have a social contract with the world. You say "How are you?" and I say "Fine." I don't tell you that I'm worried about money or that I'm questioning my sexuality. With humiliation play, the rules of the game are removed. Here you're encouraged to touch those tidbits which make you wince and cry and rage and laugh and love. There's no shame in humiliation, no judgment (god, I wanted to add another "e" in there!). It's freedom.

This is when you (here meaning the couple) can release truths which are normally stifled. Since there is no judgment, issues like adultery, inadequacy, and other insecurities are inspired to come out. In my opinion, good humiliation is far more intimate than sex.

Woooooo. That last chapter was a little steamy.

More on point, why does Destinedto like being called a slut? It's surely novel. Contra my previous explanation, the novelty of the experience is attractive. But that will die in time. Unless some part of you does feel slutty, the word will lose its cock-raising veracity. It would be like being called stupid repeatedly by someone less intelligent than you - it grows laughable.

My advice... Don't just accept that you like it. Seek out why. Look deep down (trite but true) and explore the dark parts we all hide.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/19/2009 11:49:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper


quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

Overanalyzing every aspect of your bdsm relationship will turn the whole thing into a sort of clinical experiment.  Big turn-off.


I disagree. Social sciences make me hot! I would love if every kink could be traced back to a childhood experience, oh what fun we would have pressing buttons! (I'm being 100% sincere).

(snipped for brevity)

My advice... Don't just accept that you like it. Seek out why. Look deep down (trite but true) and explore the dark parts we all hide.


Agrees with HeavansKeeper wholeheartedly.  So many people make claims that it's important to know yourself, to know what you want - yet when someone (as seen here) asks for help in finding themselves it gets blown off as being non-important to know the reasons behind the desire.  How are we to know ourselves if we do not know the reasons behind our desires?



ChainedExistence -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/20/2009 6:10:00 PM)

I have to agree with the poster who said it sort of frees you up to be sexual if you had a prim and proper upbringing. I was raised in an ultra religious family. Sexual discussion of any kind was taboo. Having sex before marriage??? Only bad girls did that.  ENOYING sex??? Sex was something to be endured in order to have children and that was it. I knew I liked sex..but I felt like I wasn't allowed to. I felt sensual,  but I felt like I had no right to those feelings. So when those lovely terms get said to me, it gets me in a headspace of being that wanton creature who only exists for a man's pleasure and I can feel everything with joyous abandon.  It's permission to be the bad girl, and it's liberating. And truthfully I KNOW my Dom really respects and loves me and anything he says are only words that he knows are my triggers. I can go back to Miss Prim and Proper on the outside any time I want, and feel comfortable that I am still a "nice girl" at heart (who gets to have a HOT HOT time!)



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/25/2009 8:25:21 PM)

Hi.

Humiliation, degradation, belittling, scolding, commands, help the sub know their low position and gets their mind set for being dominated. Some might say humbling is a necessity for submission.

Hope this helps.



stella41b -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/25/2009 9:41:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hi.

Humiliation, degradation, belittling, scolding, commands, help the sub know their low position and gets their mind set for being dominated. Some might say humbling is a necessity for submission.

Hope this helps.


Not all submissives need to be humiliated in order to submit. And I do happen to know a few dominants who can be quite humble.

And what's this about the sub's 'low position'? Subs tend to submit beause they're submissive, not for any other reason and certainly not through being weaker or more inferior to anyone else.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Why do I need to be humiliated? (4/26/2009 7:07:25 AM)

I had a shrink that i respect very much tell me that we sexualize the things that frightened or hurt us when we were children - so maybe you were humiliated when you were a kid, and as a result, this is how you get turned on.   And it may not be something you remember, or think of as being humiliating.



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