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windchymes -> Dennis Miller's Advice to Men (1/31/2006 2:35:41 PM)
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****I found this in a humor column, but I think it's dead on! So I posted it here****
1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.
2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to
subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.
3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity
and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some
decent, affordable childcare. That way, maybe poor single
mothers can go to work and get off welfare and we won't have
to listen to any more idiots in Congress blathering about
orphanages.
4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys.
Look at... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle
next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's
a slacking, worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30
percent less than Carl. Hellooo ...
5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask,
"Who's your daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not
funny.
6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be
coming out. Words are kind of important.
7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-
hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos.
8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should "know" if she came.
9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to
ask for directions.
10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off
your dick in your sleep, take it like a man.
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