Expanding pain tolerances

Expanding pain tolerances (Full Version)

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slvemike4u -> Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 11:35:11 AM)
Seeking opinions here....Is it possible to expand a masochist's tolerance's?In my mind this is the simple part,I beleive they can be expanded,and to great degree. Would You ad a Dom/Domme consider it worth your trouble,considering the plethora of willing sub/slave types? Now I realise many answers are going to be along the lines of "it depends on the sub,is he/she worth it in other areas" lets assume the sub/slave is compatible with the Dom/Domme in all other areas...except for pain levels...would you take the time to work with said sub?

dreamerdreaming -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 12:19:37 PM)
Speaking from my experience under the whip: yes, pain tolerance can increase over time. However, since I was a pain slut back then, I wanted it. Lately I've realized that although my Dom's tastes ran very close to mine in this area, it is possible that he did a bit of service topping for me at times. Now, as a Domme: I won't seek anyone who has much different needs and desires than my own. If we are already closely matched, things are just easier. I want things to flow smoothly. Life's other challenges are difficult enough. I just don't have the energy or inclination to try to impose my will upon a partner who's not a good fit with me to begin with. If I were seeking a pain slut, I'd look for a slave who is that to begin with. Not try to change my boy into one, or more of one.

slvemike4u -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 12:27:51 PM)
Ahh,but Dreaming my question concerns a pain slut whose tolerances are ,shall we say,not as developed as he would like...can those be expanded and as a Domme is it worth working with him to do so?

LovingMistress45 -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 12:41:49 PM)
My answer is yes it is possible and most likely probable to happen on its own. For me if the slave/sub was a good match in all areas other than pain tolerance yes I would work with him/her.

DesFIP -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 1:09:31 PM)
I don't think there's any guarantee of how much farther they can be expanded. So you might decide it's worth the work and then discover they will never be able to take as much as you need to give.

slvemike4u -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 1:14:57 PM)
Well guarentee's in life are few and far between.... isn't the effort,in this case,simply delicous fun..... Additionally lets consider this .... look at a pain slut with a highly developed pain threshold...what exactly is he giving...when compared to one with a lower threshold who wants,nay needs to go further for you...isn't he in a sense submitting more deeply?

Andalusite -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 1:21:03 PM)
For me, how deeply someone submits depends on a lot of things, not just how much pain they can take. A lot of it is service-oriented, or how much input he wants from me in other areas of his life. I've found, on both sides of the whip, that pain tolerance does tend to increase, and there are a lot of strategies that can be used. However, while I can help the submissive to some extent in this area, there isn't any guarantee of how much they'll be able to change. Personally, I like the reactions to the pain more than the sheer amount of pain - the way they yelp, whimper, shiver, etc., the look in their eyes... Also, there are some implements that can be used as hard as I like without being likely to cause damage, such as bunny floggers and my "Barbie" flogger (made of hair extensions, with a hot pink handle that looks like a dildo), or even walloping them with a pillow or a padded thuddy toy. Some people can take more sting than thud, or the other way around, and there are lots of non-impact options as well. There are breathing techniques, similar to Lamaze, that are very helpful, and for lack of a better word, energy play, there are sometimes hot-button things that help reduce warmup time, making sure that the person is well warmed up with things they like will allow them to take more, verbally encouraging/praising them can help, backing off when they start to struggle, and gradually increasing the intensity, combining a sensation they like with one they don't like, combining more directly sexual stimulation, and lots of other things can all make a big difference.

littlewonder -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 1:56:39 PM)
I used to be able to withstand a lot of pain when me and my ex Dom lived together. Since I would be used every single day and hard, after awhile my skin toughened and I could take more and more each time. I became accustomed to the pain. My skin became almost leather-like. Now that I don't live with my current Master and we don't see each other everyday and I haven't been used in years upon years, unfortunately I can't take much at all anymore. This is hard on me since I want to be able to take more for him but thankfully he's understanding and an intelligent man who understands the physiology of the human body and mind. So I know it is possible to build the body up to take more and more but it's something that has to be consistent over time and not something that can be done overnight or even quickly. It takes time and patience.

slvemike4u -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:02:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite For me, how deeply someone submits depends on a lot of things, not just how much pain they can take. A lot of it is service-oriented, or how much input he wants from me in other areas of his life. I've found, on both sides of the whip, that pain tolerance does tend to increase, and there are a lot of strategies that can be used. However, while I can help the submissive to some extent in this area, there isn't any guarantee of how much they'll be able to change. Personally, I like the reactions to the pain more than the sheer amount of pain - the way they yelp, whimper, shiver, etc., the look in their eyes... Also, there are some implements that can be used as hard as I like without being likely to cause damage, such as bunny floggers and my "Barbie" flogger (made of hair extensions, with a hot pink handle that looks like a dildo), or even walloping them with a pillow or a padded thuddy toy. Some people can take more sting than thud, or the other way around, and there are lots of non-impact options as well. There are breathing techniques, similar to Lamaze, that are very helpful, and for lack of a better word, energy play, there are sometimes hot-button things that help reduce warmup time, making sure that the person is well warmed up with things they like will allow them to take more, verbally encouraging/praising them can help, backing off when they start to struggle, and gradually increasing the intensity, combining a sensation they like with one they don't like, combining more directly sexual stimulation, and lots of other things can all make a big difference. Thank you so very much for all the info here.You managed to address a good many of my personal issues in this reply. First off I tried to cover your first point in my OP witht the assumption that they are very compatible in all other areas...perhaps I didn't go far enough to pain that picture...my apologies. Dealing with a neck/back disability and numerous surgical procedures in those areas...the heavy impact that accompanies the thudd play is a particular worry for me.Moreso as it applies to my desire to please than the Dommes indifference to this concern.I am more likely to minimise my worries in the attempt to please my Mistress....after all I'm a people pleaser,especially during a scene.....Rest assured I will be having a conversation stressing a lot of the alternatives you have spotlighted. Once again thanks for this and the other thoughful responses given.

InTonguesslut -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:08:26 PM)
quote: Additionally lets consider this .... look at a pain slut with a highly developed pain threshold...what exactly is he giving...when compared to one with a lower threshold who wants,nay needs to go further for you...isn't he in a sense submitting more deeply? Not necessarily true. A highly developed pain slut may be working on developing and expanding on other areas of their submission, making their submission just as deep by your standards as a pain slut working on pain levels. I'm working on my pain thresholds with Sir at present. I'm not taking half of what i know i can take at present, but we are working our way back up there. So is it possible yes. It needs to be remembered though that when you hit your highest pain threshold then you have hit it, no more expansion, development. Threads like this worry me a little, they give me the impression that if a pain threshold is hit the sub becomes unappealing / unwanted because there is no more development to be had in this area.

Joseff -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:15:07 PM)
Yes, I've noticed that when we play more frequently, debbie can take more stimulation than when we take up after a period of inaction. I have also seen that other stimulation can increase her tolerance. In her case it is sexual stimulation that does the trick, making her a true pain slut. Often during a session, if she begins to complain that something I'm doing is pushing her limits, a little touch in the right place can change reluctance to willing acceptance.

kdsub -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:18:06 PM)
I'm sure it can go both ways...If the pain is bad enough...and there is pain that bad... then the future tolerance goes way down. The fear of experiencing that type pain is overpowering and that fear is a tool. Butch

Andalusite -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:27:44 PM)
In that case, it sounds like a serious medical issue, not a pain tolerance issue. If I had a submissive or bottom with similar issues, I would first want them to consult their doctor, or if they did not feel comfortable with that, contact a kink-aware doctor (there is a list of providers, but I don't have it offhand) to discuss in detail what is feasible and won't be likely to cause injury. Even non-impact or stingy play, or play in other body part areas could cause you to flinch/jerk in a way that might wrench something in a bad way. Very, very tight bondage that doesn't allow that kind of wiggle room might be a good idea, to keep you from inadvertently harming yourself. I would probably focus mostly on waxplay, possibly fireplay, knifeplay (I personally use one that is dull, but might explore learning more about other options with a submissive or bottom who was interested in that, and couldn't handle much impact), clamps, bondage (being careful again about positions to avoid potential harm), pinching, CBT, and other such things. Even if he could handle the pain from impact play, I would be very cautious of doing it to the intensity that I would with someone who did not have those medical issues. Of course, there are so many other things that a submissive can do that are more service-oriented and less play-oriented, as well, that wouldn't be impacted by that type of medical issue. If your Domme isn't willing to learn more about your medical limitations and how to work around them, I would be very cautious of pursuing things further with her. Of course, if you have just told her that it hurts, and not why, that is your fault, not hers.

slvemike4u -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 2:39:09 PM)
Definitly my fault.....in not being completly open about this concern.

LadyPact -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 5:55:16 PM)
I've mentioned some of these things before in other threads. Not just about pain, but other subjects as well. Let's start with the easy question. Would I, as a sadist, be willing to work with someone who enjoys pain, but might not be at the same level of taking what I could dish out? Absolutely. It would be My opinion that pain tolerance does tend to increase over time for most individuals. Like many other activities that can be built up by endurance, play is the same way. You don't think marathon runners start out at that level, do you? No. They start out with small runs and work their way up. It's the same kind of thing. The more you do it, there's a good chance that you'll be able to do more as time passes. If anybody thinks clip was at the level he is today when I met him two years ago, I have some really good stories for you. The very same goes for My sadism, if you're curious. One thing that's important to point out here. Just because a person is a heavy top, doesn't mean that every play time has to be with a heavy bottom for it to be enjoyed. Sure, I love it when I can go balls to the wall on clip because he can take whatever I dish out. That doesn't mean that another bottom, who might not be as heavy of a player, isn't enjoyed too in a different way. When they are giving Me all that they can, and maybe just a little more than they thought they could, or just a bit more than they could the last time, that is amazing to Me. From a top's perspective, you have no idea of how great that is. To have them move up to a different type of flogger or maybe be able to take more strokes with the cane. That they are going farther, and they are doing it with Me...... That's a thrill, too. It's kind of like two different types of rides that you really love at an amusement park. One goes really, really high and you love that. Another goes really, really fast and gives you a different rush. They are both great. Both are exciting. Each of them is a lot of fun. Just in different ways.

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Expanding pain tolerances (4/19/2009 6:07:05 PM)
Pain for me is a weird thing. I've been in situations where I've been able to take a large amount of pain and in others in which I can't take hardy any of the same type of infliction (type, severity and duration). I hope that I can extend my tolerance when I am exposed to extended use, simply because it's something I wish to be able to give to someone who desires it. I'm not very masochistic when it comes to pain, but at the same time would rather serve a sadist than not.

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