Am i expecting too much?

Am i expecting too much? (Full Version)

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Imloyal2u -> Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 8:54:57 PM)
Hi... i'm a submissive who is married to my Dom. i guess i'm expecting too much for him to be as loyal to me as i am to him. i know he chats with other subs and sets up meetings with them, usually at their expense at a motel, but he always tells them he's not married, and they always find out, and go away. i want to hear from other Dons especially. thanks!

atypicalsub -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:02:10 PM)
cheating is cheating. the fact that you're in a D/s relationship doesn't change that any. if he is arranging meetings with others without telling you then he is not being honest with you. obviously that errodes trust. it doesn't sound like a great foundation for a relationship of any kind. all of this of course is just my personal opinion and you are welcome to do with it whatever you care to.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:03:08 PM)
It all depends on what you both have agreed too. Mike

SailingBum -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:17:38 PM)
Well you did ummm marry him. The fact that he is also your dom has no bearing on cheating. BadOne

loveandlight87 -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:29:19 PM)
Do you trust that he is using protection with these subs that he is meeting? And my next question would be, if he can so easily lie to them about his marital status, how easy would it be for him to lie to you about how well he protects himself, and by extension you, from STD's? And really, any thing else he tells you. Just my penny's worth. love

DarkSteven -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:44:19 PM)
If he were bringing in a third for a consensual poly situation, that would be fine. You seem to have an issue with him tomcatting. And him lying to other women... not cool.

cpK69 -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 9:49:25 PM)
My personal perspective; if I wish to be in a monogamous relationship, and I am in a relationship with someone who isn’t/doesn’t; I am expecting too much from myself. Kim

xxblushesxx -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 10:05:51 PM)
Perhaps you're not expecting enough, hun.

DavanKael -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 10:06:45 PM)
Couple of issues: That you don't like him being non-monogamous That he's a liar Pretty big issues as far as remaining married goes unless you want to wind up bitter. Davan

Bearandfox -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/20/2009 10:23:05 PM)
If you both agreed to be Loyal to the same things, then no, your not expecting too much. Bear

heartcream -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 12:00:59 AM)
He is lying how do you feel about that? Sorry but there is a bit of a skeevy vibe going on. I know it is so easy for me to say and based on a few words, I sure am not the one to say but since you asked, I would say dump him and hold out for someone who doesnt lie to women about his personal relationship status for one thing. Like someone else mentioned is your husband taking precautions with these other women he is also lying to?

Lashra -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 4:51:27 AM)
Did you agreed to an open marriage? If so then what is the problem? If you did not then he is cheating and why are you putting up with it? Just because someone slaps on the "Dominant" label does not always mean that they are right or will do the right thing. Use your brain, if your not happy in this relationship it is time to change it or leave. Good luck, ~Lashra

marysdream -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 5:04:06 AM)
i agree with the others, and like to see that there are folks that have integrity....and do not see BDSM as a venue for cheating and being dishonest! good luck ree

subangi -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 5:38:46 AM)
Lying and cheating corrodes any form of a relationship

DesFIP -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 5:42:34 AM)
He is lying and cheating and risking your life. As spouses, you could confidently expect it to be safe to be fluid bonded. But since he lies to you about his others, he probably lies about condom usage and std screening. Insist he uses condoms with you from now on. Get tested now and again in six months. And think about how much respect for him has eroded because of his unacceptable behavior. If your best friend told you her husband was doing this, would you advise her to be happy about it or suggest she deserved someone who was as loyal to her as she is to him? Then take your own advice.

Interesdom -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 5:59:28 AM)
That you indicate that he is not as loyal as you are makes me think that you don't even have an open marriage, or any agreement that he should be with other women. That leads me to guess that you were first his wife, then he convinced you into being his sub and, at that time, convinced you that you should no longer expect him to be monogamous. Or perhaps he only thought he convinced you and you now have doubts about it. Poly is a fine lifestyle for those it suits. Open marriages are fine for those for whom it works. Neither of these workable lifestyles involve lying. Why should a dominant lie? Either he controls himself and his environment and gets what he wants because of whom he is, or he just pretends to be things he isn't, to get his own way. There are some exceptions (this is not one of them) but on the whole if a person is lying about his life, he is not dominant, he is simply manipulative. Others have raised issues I also agree with, on trust and physical health. You should take care of yourself and protect yourself, physically and emotionally. Please do not taint BDSM nor doms by thinking his behaviour is acceptable.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 6:17:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Imloyal2u Hi... i'm a submissive who is married to my Dom. i guess i'm expecting too much for him to be as loyal to me as i am to him. i know he chats with other subs and sets up meetings with them, usually at their expense at a motel, but he always tells them he's not married, and they always find out, and go away. i want to hear from other Dons especially. thanks! Hello Imloyal2u, D/s is no free cheque to cheat !! It's a relationship in which there is an agreement on what can happen and what not, it's an agreement for BOTH party's, and not just one, he can't force this upon you, because he likes to fake he is single, and show off how he can fuck around. It shows NO respect to you, or your marriage. That's not why you married him, to b disrespected. Know you can't change him, only safe yourself from such abuse. I wish you enough. Warm Greetingz GoddezzT`

DarkSteven -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 6:38:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Interesdom Please do not taint BDSM nor doms by thinking his behaviour is acceptable. [sm=goodpost.gif]

RavenMuse -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 6:44:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: atypicalsub cheating is cheating. the fact that you're in a D/s relationship doesn't change that any. if he is arranging meetings with others without telling you then he is not being honest with you. obviously that errodes trust. it doesn't sound like a great foundation for a relationship of any kind. all of this of course is just my personal opinion and you are welcome to do with it whatever you care to. It is an opinion that you are not alone in. I don't have ANY regard what-so-ever for cheats!

sirsholly -> RE: Am i expecting too much? (4/21/2009 6:45:04 AM)
why do you in any way find this acceptable?

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