Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (Full Version)

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MissEnchanted -> Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/20/2009 11:56:34 PM)

**Nurses aren't supposed to laugh... ***

Of course I won't laugh, said the nurse. I'm a professional.  In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.

Okay, then, said John, and he proceeded to drop his trousers,  revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen.  Length
and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA  battery..   Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing.

Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her co mposure.

I am so sorry, she said.. I don't know what came over me.  On my honor as a nurse and a lady,  I promise it won't happen again.
Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?

It's swollen, John replied.

She ran out of the room.



GreedyTop -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 12:07:11 AM)

*snort*



LadySweetOrSour -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 1:09:08 AM)

ROFLMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[sm=biggrin.gif]



YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 1:17:30 AM)

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh at a lot of things, but they do. The stories i could tell, just in nursing school alone...

Like the new mom who wanted to name her baby girl Chlamydia...



subtlebutterfly -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 1:57:00 AM)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh my goooooooooooood this's the most hillarious joke I've read for AGES



lilmissdefiant -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 2:04:27 AM)

ROTFL



CollaredLisa -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 3:08:33 AM)

lol



cravesdom -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 3:10:30 AM)

That was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.



favesclava -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 3:14:55 AM)

as a nurse i havent laughed at anyone yet, not in front of them anyway.but this would be hard (pun intended) not to. funny as hell



SteelofUtah -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 8:24:18 AM)

Try not to Laugh at this one.

My Friend Mary who was a Mid Shift Nurse at UMC in Las Vegas had just started when she was asked by the head nurse to handle the couple in the examining room.

When she got in and reviewed the initial claim chart she noticed that the Elder Gentleman was holding a Table Cloth against his Crotch and his wife had several linen napkins held against her Forehead.

The Nurse began taking a history and was half way through when she finally asked .."How were your current Injuries Causes" At this the elderly woman started to cry and sob uncontrollably, she called for another nurse when the Elderly Gentleman said "She's Just Embarassed but I guess it's too late to worry about any of that you are the fourth nurse to come and try and do that paperwork so far and each time they ask how it happened she cries and then the nurse leaves so I just wanna get this over with."

"Tonight it or 50th Wedding Anaversary, We went to a fancy sit down restraunt and Edith has said no gifts but I got her one anyway it was a genuine Emerald she had always wanted one and looking at her she asked me what I wanted. I made a Joke about getting a Blow Job under the table and instead of getting the himmin and hawin that I would usually get she went down" 

At this Edith was sobbing even harder.

"Well while she was down there doing what she was doing apparently she had a fit, you know a seziure and bit down on my soldier and I just reacted and all I could do is grab my fork and try to snap her out of it which is why she's bleeding from the forhead and I'm bleeding from the pecker."

Steel



kinkienesss -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 9:11:04 AM)

lmao




NightTigress -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 9:58:55 AM)

I feel so bad for those involved in that, very funny after the fact though



FourQ -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 10:30:52 AM)

A neighbour of a newly wed couple was worried when she didn't hear her rather noisy neighbours for a while.
A few days later, she peered through their letterbox and through the windows. But there was no sign of anyone.
Concerned for the young couple, she called the police. The policemen promptly broke down the door, then searched the house. Only to find the young women gagged and tied to the bed.
Her husband was lying unconscious on the floor, wearing a Superman outfit.
They later explain that they had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser.
Of course, the woman was unable to help him!



FourQ -> RE: Nurses shouldn't laugh at this (4/21/2009 10:38:19 AM)

The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians.
  1. She has had no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  2. The patient has no past history of suicides.
  3. The patient refused an autopsy.
  4. The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.
  5. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  6. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
  7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
  8. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
  9. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
  10. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
  11. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
  12. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  13. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
  14. I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
  15. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  16. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  17. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. ________ to dispose of him.
  18. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
  19. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.
  20. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.



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