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Milking machine - 4/22/2009 7:48:13 AM   
FourQ


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Status: offline 		An elderly farmer decides he's had enough of milking his cows by hand so he decides to invest some money in an electronic, industrial milking machine. After a couple of days his new 'state of the art' device arrives. He waits around until his wife is out for the day and decides to test the machine on himself. Once its installed he pops his pecker into the 'udder sucker' and switches the machine on. After having the best orgasm of his life old boy decides he better switch the machine off and get his pants back on, it's then he realises he's stuck in the machine. After trying everything he could think to release himself he decides to call the customer service helpline. "Hello," he says, "I've recently purchased a milking machine from your good selves. It works just fine, but i was wondering how you remove it from the cow's udder?"

"Don't worry sir, this is state of the art technology." Replies the salesman, "The device will release automatically once it's collected 2 gallons."

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RE: Milking machine - 4/22/2009 10:43:18 AM   
NightTigress


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Status: offline 		I wonder if anyone has ever tried this?

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RE: Milking machine - 4/22/2009 4:02:19 PM   
Crush


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Status: offline 		Not yet........

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RE: Milking machine - 4/22/2009 8:39:52 PM   
Vendaval


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Status: offline 		Well, he might be up all night now...

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RE: Milking machine - 4/22/2009 8:50:40 PM   
Crush


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Status: offline 		I guess it would really suck when his wife got home......

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RE: Milking machine - 4/22/2009 9:36:00 PM   
kinkienesss


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Status: offline 		lol



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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 4:59:47 AM   
FourQ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Well, he might be up all night now...

I don't know of any bloke who can deliver 2 gallons in a night!


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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 5:29:08 AM   
pixidustpet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NightTigress

I wonder if anyone has ever tried this?


*snickering*

kitten, who comes from a dairy farming family......

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 5:48:10 AM   
sirsholly


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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 9:07:40 AM   
Saratov


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NightTigress

I wonder if anyone has ever tried this?


I have both heard and read about a few who did.   ONCE!

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 9:27:26 AM   
NightTigress


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Status: offline 		It amuses me Saratov how you caps lock once

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 1:52:15 PM   
Saratov


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Status: offline 		Well, they learned after the first time not to do that.

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 1:56:49 PM   
LadyPact


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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 2:46:20 PM   
igor2003


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NightTigress
I wonder if anyone has ever tried this?



Never tried it myself, but I did grow up on a dairy farm. Can't say the thought never crossed my mind (lol) but there were normally at least 1 to 3 other people around during milking time. (If not, then you were pretty much on a dead run from start to finish, and too tired when done to worry about extracaricular activities.) However, I can say that the machine can be removed easily at any time that it needs to come off, but it still makes for good humor though.

< Message edited by igor2003 -- 4/23/2009 2:47:26 PM >

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 3:17:42 PM   
Stephen123456


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Status: offline 		One wonders whether such has ever been used by or upon a lactating woman? That would make the standard breast-pump pale by comparison.

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 3:25:50 PM   
Stephen123456


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Status: offline 		It would certainly make for some industrial-strength breast-play, not to mention the repeated use causing some nipple distension/engorgement on a long-term if not permanent basis

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RE: Milking machine - 4/23/2009 4:05:03 PM   
Crush


Posts: 1031
Status: offline 		I know...look at the nipples on cows' udders!   Wow.

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