how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (Full Version)

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YourhandMyAss -> how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:33:41 AM)

It's not fair, you should be either madly and completely and insanely happy with them in all ways, or insanly unhappy with them all together, none of this maddening in between shit of oh he makes me so happy in many many ways but...........



purepleasure -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:34:40 AM)

it's called

love

if you didn't care, it wouldn't matter



SteelofUtah -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:37:50 AM)

...... who the hell ever told you anything in life or love was going to be fair.

I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved my wife.

And I have never wanted to kill anyone with any more passion than I have wanted to kill my wife.

It is the nature of us.

In the Immortal words of the Third Priest ot the Tibetian order of Zen Monistary Monks

"Seriously dude... get over it"

Steel



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:38:12 AM)

purepleasure I remember thinking, in my last relationship, when the thought of breakingg up with him didn't make me hurt any more, it was high time to move on.Well that and looking forward to the day I'd have him the hell out of my life and the things I would do with out him dragging me down.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:41:54 AM)

Trust me "dude" I was never raised thinking stuff was fair, but I am hurting today so I am going to call not fair. even if I never was raised believing anything is fair. And if saying the monks have a saying get over it, is your idea of being helpful when someone is hurting please stop trying to be helpful and go away.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

...... who the hell ever told you anything in life or love was going to be fair.

I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved my wife.

And I have never wanted to kill anyone with any more passion than I have wanted to kill my wife.

It is the nature of us.

In the Immortal words of the Third Priest ot the Tibetian order of Zen Monistary Monks

"Seriously dude... get over it"

Steel



Phoenixpower -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:51:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

it's called

love

if you didn't care, it wouldn't matter


so bloody true [&o]

also I think it's because the people so close to us we expect to know and understand us and to avoid to hurt us...nevertheless it does happen (sometimes with more and sometimes with less intensions) and when it happens from them it just hurts more...

not to forget...they know even better how to do it when they want to [8|]



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 11:55:48 AM)

That's true, I remember one time James was just being really cruel and he said the lady in the grocery store told her daughter lets get out of here before the psycho lady corners us and talks to us again, knowing how sensitive I am to that kind of thing, because I've had people act like they enjoy talking to me, but then complain bitterly to any one who'd listen.

Well He tripped that trigger and he tripped it good thinking it was funny to joke about people thinking I am a psycho. I was told him he was an insensitive jerk and how dare he think it was funny to say that knowing how much those kind of things hurt. He apologized but my feelings towards him remained ruffed up a bit.


It is never funny to joke about things that are a partners trigger, and he was just being an ass and wasn't thinking.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: purepleasure

it's called

love

if you didn't care, it wouldn't matter


so bloody true [&o]

also I think it's because the people so close to us we expect to know and understand us and to avoid to hurt us...nevertheless it does happen (sometimes with more and sometimes with less intensions) and when it happens from them it just hurts more...

not to forget...they know even better how to do it when they want to [8|]



sirsholly -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 1:23:52 PM)

quote:

Trust me "dude" I was never raised thinking stuff was fair, but I am hurting today so I am going to call not fair. even if I never was raised believing anything is fair. And if saying the monks have a saying get over it, is your idea of being helpful when someone is hurting please stop trying to be helpful and go away.
in Steels defense...when i read your opening post i did not pick up on the fact that you are really hurting right now, and there is no doubt he did not either.

First...i am sorry you are having a rough time. Settle down, allow the emotions to cool, then talk to him. That is the only, and the best, advice i can give you.

As to your op...i think PurePlease said it best. It is love. Love makes the good times better, and the bad times worse. It is because we are so vulnerable when we love someone...so easily hurt. Emotions can be magnified, which is why a cooling off period is necessary. Hell...there is even a legal term for crimes committed because of the intensity of these feelings, crimes of passion.

Now ...try this. I have no clue what has you so upset but try to put another person in the roll of your boyfriend...someone you do not care so deeply about. Perhaps you will see that your feelings are not nearly as intense.



LaTigresse -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 1:26:53 PM)

I've had that type of relationship and I am not sure I want it again. Just not fond of the highs and lows.

Of course, by saying that.........it's soooo gonna happen again. I've gone and jinxed myself.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 1:37:49 PM)

Is this some kind of pattern behaviour on his part, or was it just a "joke" that didn't work?  Personally, any kind of practical joke or prank that is just an excuse for cruelty is not something I get over instantly.  I don't spend a lot of time being angry (I tend to forget to stay mad...) but it makes me think twice about the other person's motivation.



sirsholly -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 1:41:39 PM)

quote:

It is never funny to joke about things that are a partners trigger,


ugh...yeah, that not good.

Perhaps you can tell him, in a healthy relationship, we have to lessen out partners triggers...not add to them



NorthernGent -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 2:22:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

It's not fair, you should be either madly and completely and insanely happy with them in all ways, or insanly unhappy with them all together, none of this maddening in between shit of oh he makes me so happy in many many ways but...........


 
Too much insanity and happiness/unhappiness in this post for my liking. Why can't you just sort of like him and appreciate his strengths and weaknesses? You know....he leaves the toilet seat down but he can boil an egg.

All that American Dream bollocks isn't good for your sanity.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 2:29:37 PM)

So, boiling eggs is a sign of weakness? [;)]  I'll keep that in mind!



intenze -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 3:17:19 PM)

gives LT some mojo to keep that from happening...keep drama outta iowa!
c



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 4:51:57 PM)

Holly I changed my tone quite a lot lol, it was going to be I am hurting today so fuck off ok?  The ok part, being my reply to him not you.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

And I was like ok that is way out of line



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 4:53:18 PM)

Holly, I did tell him it was a very sore trigger, do not trip that one again purpose please, because I don't trip yours thinking it's funny. And he agreed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

It is never funny to joke about things that are a partners trigger,


ugh...yeah, that not good.

Perhaps you can tell him, in a healthy relationship, we have to lessen out partners triggers...not add to them




sirsholly -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 4:59:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Holly, I did tell him it was a very sore trigger, do not trip that one again purpose please, because I don't trip yours thinking it's funny. And he agreed.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

It is never funny to joke about things that are a partners trigger,


ugh...yeah, that not good.

Perhaps you can tell him, in a healthy relationship, we have to lessen out partners triggers...not add to them



then...is there something that set HIM off and caused this behavior? I am not excusing it, just wondering why he did it



YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 5:02:21 PM)

Well I think they would be intense, but I wouldn't have an issue with showing someone I wasn't normally so happy to be with the door if things were going wrong and had been for ages. .

When we bring love into it, it becomes so much harder to do what's best for ourselves, and if you didn't care so deeply, then it wouldn't be so hard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly



Now ...try this. I have no clue what has you so upset but try to put another person in the roll of your boyfriend...someone you do not care so deeply about. Perhaps you will see that your feelings are not nearly as intense.




marie2 -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 5:05:34 PM)

Uh oh.....Are you dumping him?

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Well I think they would be intense, but I wouldn't have an issue with showing someone I wasn't normally so happy to be with the door if things were going wrong and had been for ages. .

When we bring love into it, it becomes so much harder to do what's best for ourselves, and if you didn't care so deeply, then it wouldn't be so hard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly



Now ...try this. I have no clue what has you so upset but try to put another person in the roll of your boyfriend...someone you do not care so deeply about. Perhaps you will see that your feelings are not nearly as intense.





YourhandMyAss -> RE: how is it that someone can make you insanely happy in so many ways and unhappy in others (4/24/2009 5:11:14 PM)

Nope, he just thought it was funny, and didn't stop to think that I would be hurt by his comment.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly


then...is there something that set HIM off and caused this behavior? I am not excusing it, just wondering why he did it




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