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Grandpa's IRS Audit - 4/24/2009 7:48:29 PM

MasterG2kTR

Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
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The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his
attorney.

The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling.

I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye.'

The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye..'

Now the auditor can tell that Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now
realizes he has wagered and lost three grand , with Grandpa's attorney as
a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so
he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other
side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.

'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy
about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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RE: Grandpa's IRS Audit - 4/27/2009 3:20:01 AM

FourQ

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Saw it coming so while I didn't laugh out loud, boy do I feel good for the old fella.
I used to work for the Tax Office and would have loved to have pissed all over them!

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RE: Grandpa's IRS Audit - 4/28/2009 6:46:32 AM

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RE: Grandpa's IRS Audit - 4/28/2009 8:58:55 AM

Termyn8or

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Hey, just for the record, you gotta keep an eye on those old folks. You know they can kill you at will with relative impunity. You give them life imprisonment and they laugh - "What are we talking here a year or so ?". If you go to execute them many will say thank you.

Just a word to the wise ; beware of old people.

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RE: Grandpa's IRS Audit - 4/28/2009 10:20:41 AM

NightTigress

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This reminds me of when my father left all his tax forms on the floor of the office and the dogs came by and urinated all over them. He was half tempted to still send them in but decided against it.

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