Old Collars (Full Version)

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michaelGA -> Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:28:40 PM)

i would like to know what i should do with my old collar since my former Mistress does not wish me to return it to Her?



Littlepita -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:32:33 PM)

Throw it away or keep it as a memento of your time together.



michaelGA -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:35:16 PM)

that's the thing, we never spent any time together other than online and even that was spiratic at best.



yourMissTress -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:52:10 PM)

What do you want to do with the collar?

Does it bring you fond memories?

Does it remind you of unhappiness?



servingwench80 -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:53:54 PM)

I think she meant "time" as in, your experiences together. An online friend of mine sent me a necklace for my birthday (not a collar or anything, just a necklace) and I still think of him any time I wear it, or when I think of the necklace. That's all she meant. Keep it as a memento. If you're not the type to keep things as a representation of memories, or they aren't memories you want to remember, then just toss it if you want.



michaelGA -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:53:54 PM)

it brings mixed feelings.

right now it sits in my desk drawer, gathering dust



servingwench80 -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 8:56:22 PM)

If the collar is happy in your drawer, maybe you should just leave it there for now *L* Maybe eventually you'll come to a happy place with those memories and you'll be glad you still have it. If eventually you decide it's not worth keeping, you can always still throw it away.



sirdontre -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:12:29 PM)

For many old school leather folks we give the collar to one (Dom/Domme ) that has informed us of a collaring at hand and if one is fond of the submissive and Dom/Domme at hand we offer the collar to that Dom/Domme who may be honored to pass the torch of pride .

The collar is to symbolize the good and bad that a submissive experiences during one's journey in service .It's not the fact of never being collared it's the fact that the collar is a memory of how you served with pride .One must remember that to have recieve the collar the Dom /Domme that choose you choose you for the sake your devotion to service .

Sir DonTre
" Sir To Many Daddy To Few "



LessThanKate -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:17:36 PM)

I can't imagine ever throwing away my collar. Then again, you don't want to send the wrong message by keeping a collection of old collars...

I think your best bet is to hide it away somewhere for a while and when you rediscover it you can evaluate your feelings again.



caitlyn -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:20:26 PM)

I would send it back to her, via FedEx priority overnight. Don't send a note ... just put the collar in the FedEx envelope. Make it from company called mGA Inc. Check that box that repeats the delivery until it's signed for. In that box where you have to list the value, put $0.00.

That's what I would do ... but you're probably a nicer person that I am.



SirKenin -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:40:12 PM)

If you have to ask then I think that your action should be clear. That being nothing. Until you have decided for sure, a decision that you alone can make, you should not be doing anything with it. You do not want to do something you would regret later. And besides... What exactly is it hurting just sitting in that drawer? My guess is nothing. Just leave it there until you feel level-headed about it and then do something with it, whether that be throw it out or keep it.

By the way, whatever you do do not be a jerk and mail it back to her. Show some respect for other people and dignity for yourself and respect the Mistress' wishes. That to Me is common courtesy.



caitlyn -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:50:05 PM)

But ... being a jerk can be so much fun!!! [;)]

Besides, if that's your definition of being a jerk, don't you think just maybe you are being a little too sensitive? Flattening her tires is being a jerk. Filling out a form at the post office to forward her mail is being a jerk. Sending her back the collar ... is just dry, harmless fun.



foxglove716 -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 9:59:13 PM)

thats a very personal thing. If it were me I would take it apart and make something new out of it



IronBear -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 10:06:34 PM)

michael,

I favour the comment that if you have to ask, then do nothing. I will never pass any collar returned to me to another but I'd destroy it by the cleansing element of fire. Fire in a forge is IMO best. Those of Norse beliefs will understand my meaning.



ZenrageTheKeeper -> RE: Old Collars (2/1/2006 10:15:09 PM)

Cut paper (leather) dolls out of it.



FTopinMichigan -> RE: Old Collars (2/2/2006 3:02:37 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

it brings mixed feelings.

right now it sits in my desk drawer, gathering dust


Maybe hanging onto the collar, and having it so near (knowing it's right there, in the drawer) is what's making it difficult for you to find another. Maybe there's still the subconscious connection there, especially is you have mixed feelings about the relationship. Just a thought.

I can see hanging onto it, as a memento, but you might consider moving it to another location for now. Might seem a silly and inconsequential gesture, but sometimes it helps too.

When my mother died, I couldn't handle having her photos out. Putting them away for a while didn't mean that I didn't love her, it just meant that I needed time to deal with my emotions, and the constant reminder of the photos was still hurting too much. The photos have been back out for a while now. That loss is still felt, but the pain has lessened.

K

PS Caitlyn, I thought your solution was good too...[:D]...but probably only if the relationship REALLY ended badly. Thanks for the laughs.



smilezz -> RE: Old Collars (2/2/2006 3:43:08 AM)

The collar ultimately is the property of the dominant. If the dominant does not want it back................bury it. It is not yours, it never was yours, it was a sign of ownership given to you to wear. That's it, nothing more.........simply bury it.

my .02 of course....

happy thursday y'all!

~smilezz~



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Old Collars (2/2/2006 6:44:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz

The collar ultimately is the property of the dominant. If the dominant does not want it back................bury it. It is not yours, it never was yours, it was a sign of ownership given to you to wear. That's it, nothing more.........simply bury it.

my .02 of course....

happy thursday y'all!

~smilezz~

I agree that while owned, it's never the slaves. However, if the master doesn't want it afterwards, it's basically IMO like finding something on the street.

I have a gorgeous silver leather collar from a past relationship. I kept it around for 2 years because I had no idea what to do with it. Eventually, enough time passed and the emotions connected with it softened and changed and now I can enjoy wearing it as a pretty accessory. I'm one of those wicked ones who doesn't use a collar as some sacred symbol.

But burying it is as good an option as any.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Old Collars (2/2/2006 6:50:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

i would like to know what i should do with my old collar since my former Mistress does not wish me to return it to Her?

Michael,
When I lost Jimmy, I told him to keep the collar. It is meaningless to me now. When you asked for your release, your Mistress said she didnt want the collar back, probably for the same reason I didnt want mine back. It only meant something to her when it was around your neck. Now that the reason for it being around your neck is gone, why should she want it back? I agree with Smilezz, bury it. It is just a peice of worthless leather IMO. Obviously it doesnt mean that much to you either, or you wouldnt of asked here what to do with it. If it still held emotional meaning, you would of known what to do with it.
I also agree, that this may be what is keeping you so unhappy. You asked for your release because of the distance and the lack of real time service that you were able to give to your Mistress, but that doesnt mean that you were suddenly free emotionally. I give you this advice because I know you Michael, now is the time to let go and this may be the first step to the emotional freedom you have been looking for.



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: Old Collars (2/2/2006 6:51:10 AM)

quote:

i would like to know what i should do with my old collar since my former Mistress does not wish me to return it to Her?



I had an ex's collar that I held on to for a couple years, then ultimately gave to another Domme to use for "play" situations vs. letting it be "THE collar" when I was having a clearing-out a year or so ago. I only held on to it for so long because it really wasn't a priority to get rid of it.

I wasn't interested in putting it on another sub, so wasn't going to have any use of it. It was a very nicely made collar - extremely soft - so it was a shame to destroy it.



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