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LafayetteLady -> RE: am i wrong (5/3/2009 5:39:00 PM)
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No offense, but I think you need to evaluate whether or not poly IS something that you would be ok with? There's nothing wrong with not being ok with it. Just because he seems (seemed) perfect in every other way doesn't mean that you have to learn to accept "others" in your relationship. Only you can make that decision. I fully understand that these kinds of relationships not only work, but thrive for many people. I know for me, that's a deal breaker. It isn't for me, and I know that. I get the feeling you might have been doing this simply to please him. Just because you identify as submissive doesn't mean you have to accept whatever he wants. This isn't like saying you don't enjoy sucking cock, but you do it to please him. Poly relationships are something much more complicated and will affect you emotionally a lot more if it isn't something you really want.
Did you snoop? Yes. Does that make you a stalker? Not even close. Sorry but those are the words of someone who knows what they were doing was wrong and is ticked off they got caught. At first you said you had no "rules" about his seeing other people, but then you say that he said he would tell you. That's kind of a rule. I don't buy into the line of thought that because he is "master" he doesn't need to tell you anything. Just on the basic level of personal safety against sexually transmitted diseases, you have a right to know, and he had an obligation to protect himself and you from the possibility.
Now he is telling you he loves you and misses you? Did he also tell you he was sorry that he was dishonest and got caught in his deceit? I know that you have spent 5 years with him, but I would hesitate before taking him back.
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