Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 3:17:07 AM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		So I was bored this evening and took a break from studying, I started writing something, kind of fiction, kind of not.

The premise of the story involves a married couple with a strong D/s dynamic, the wife comes home from work, husband comes into the kitchen and greets her in a rather aggressive manner.

They start kissing and fondling each other, the submissive husband starts to undress his owner and she asks him what he's doing. He says he can't control himself and how much he's in love with her. As he's got her pressed up against the counter, she says something like 'You realize I'm not going to give you permission to have an orgasm right?' To which he responds 'I understand' and enters her anyways and has an orgasm, they have beautiful loving sex in the kitchen and then the story cuts away to his impending punishment.

How would most women in that type of dynamic react? She obviously never said 'no' and enjoyed as well as encouraged it (at least assume for discussion's sake she did). In the story the two had a ritual time for punishment of transgressions, which occurred a few days after the event and was addressed in that forum.

I was thinking about the fact that it's obviously a direct disobeying of an order and wondered what the fine ladies on the site thought.

I'm personally fairly aggressive when it comes to showing affection and putting myself in situations like this, but have never done so with someone who rules with an iron fist. I find it interesting to think about in terms of the reactions during the event and after.

Thoughts?

< Message edited by SlaveBlutarsky -- 4/28/2009 3:45:00 AM >

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 3:40:27 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		FRom personal experience come personal response...
My sub was also my husband and when he would approach me sexually I did not see it as aggressive but as an assertive desire for me..as  body worship


The D/s dynamic was not so much about the sexual( although I led there too) but that our POLY home was female led and I was "Queen of Fuckin' Everything.".
I ruled...I made the decisions..guided...was mentor..head of the home
To be appraoched becuz of love and deep desire ..to me is not aggressive

I am assuming the order to not cum was disobeyed because he came??
I am not clear on that becuz it says  "he entered her anyway"

If  an  iron fist woman allowed beautiful loving sex in the kitchen then
she still made the decision...she was still in charge...to say NO or yes
and chose yes which does not make her sub  aggressive..

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 4/28/2009 3:42:23 AM >

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 3:46:31 AM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I edited it to reflect the orgasm.



_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 3:54:52 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		ok so totally different slant....against the cupboard..
 
HE was told  'you realize I am not going to give you permission to orgasm" and he said he understood
and then he did..
so then he did disobey..and lie and if it were not for the words
loving sex
I would be furious x10
PLUS..
he is saying he can't control himself..so then by cumming
I would wonder then if it was about loving me or to just get off due to lack of control ...

THis would be unacceptable and correction would be dealt out..
lack of control..a possible lie..and disobediance..

NOT GOOD..

wood shed...wood shed

GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 4/28/2009 3:56:03 AM >

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 5:40:41 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Depending on your story line a possible punishment could be that she puts him into a cuckhold situation - telling him that since he can't control himself when he promised to that he will have to stand back and watch her with another who can.  Or she could lock him into a chastity device.  Another possibility would be having him sleep on the floor instead of in their bed that night.  Still another would be in having him have to please her with toys only and not being allowed to enter her again for a predetermined amount of time.  I believe in punishments fitting the crime. Since it was his penis that he couldn't control then she should find a way to control it for him.


_____________________________



(in reply to GYPZYQUEEN)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 5:43:20 AM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		I'm fully in favour of the chastity device idea in this situation.  Also, a sold knee to the groin would be a fairly powerful deterrent for most people.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 5:47:29 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My male sub is sexually aggressive and I LOVE it, because so am I. When we get together for some hot loving its like two primal forces exploding into passion. We bite, claw, I slap him, we yank each others hair...BUT I always decide when, where, what position and IF he can cum.
Now in all the years we have been together when I have said "BOY you cannot cum", even when he is on the edge, he stops immediately. Is he happy about it? Oh hell no! But he does it. IF he did not stop then he knows he would be punished and that I would be unhappy. For him making me unhappy is like cutting his own arm off, something he would never want to do. So just that thought is enough to keep him holding back. (Plus my punishments involve research and writing of essay papers, he HATES that).

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 5:53:12 AM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Oooooh, I like that idea Lashra, writing essays and doing research. :)  

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 6:00:08 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I hope you mean sexually assertive...
I love a man who is always hot and ready for me, or hot the moment I touch him...   I don't mind a submissive or slave lusting for me, and approaching me for sex, as I feed on that energy, and it totally gets the animal in me going. 

On the other hand, a sexually aggressive man who pushes self on/into me, without first getting my okay in verbal or gestural response, would probably get hurt in a non fun way, and dismissed for grossing me out.    I get turned off, usually permanently, by anyone that aggressive.    M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 10:38:43 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I like to surprise my submissive and do the unexpected so that he never really knows exactly what I will do.  Of course I don't do this in a way that he will feel he can't trust me... I do it for the fun, the element of not knowing how devious or fun it will be but never in a threatening way to our foundation.  I reflect a bit of this in my stories too, but my stories are not me and will only touch on bits of me. 

In the situation you discribe... I am not sure that I would say he couldn't cum but if I did, I would most likely laugh!  Yes, laugh... that laugh that comes with a certain look and that might take him off his feet a bit.  Not knowing for sure.  I would let that work on him a bit.  Not sure if he was in trouble or not.  I would say nothing about it.  Later in the evening, he would get my response, maybe about the time he thought he was in the free and clear.

I would know him and what would be most effective.  It would be different things for different people.  I am a big fan of writing projects with men who don't like to write.  If he is the type that chokes when having to write, that doesn't work so well, he might have to do something for other people that he typically wouldn't like to do.

I wouldn't make him serve me or pamper me more because I don't want him to ever attach a negative to serving me.  Misbehavior can't involve something I want him to enjoy doing used as a punishment.  In many situations it would be no punishment anyway.

Like in one of my stories I included something I would do.  In the mornings, I get a bit of taking care of because of how rough mornings are for me.  He would not be allowed to use the restroom until all my needs were taken care of.  It would take a bit longer on that morning.  He would have to make my coffee and stand there waiting for it to drip, drip, drip. Most likely he needs to pee and I would have many needs that include running water.  He could not relieve himself and would have to control it.  It might remind him that he needs to control himself in other situations and with just a word or two at other times I can remind him.  I would watch him carefully to make sure it was a painful process and if it took longer... oh well... drip, drip, save the coffee in something and make some more.

A lot depends on if he was truely being aggressive in a bad way or was topping in a sense.  It would also depend on how I felt about it in the first place.  So far when I have had a no cum order it has been obeyed... at least in my presence! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 5:57:34 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Hmm, I'm a switch, and can sometimes enjoy a forced/rape play scenario like you describe, but a little kissing and fondling wouldn't necessarily be enough foreplay for my tastes. If he tried to have sex with me when I genuinely didn't want him to, I would safeword out of it. If he kept going, I would physically fight him off, and tell him that I would press charges if he continued.

If he was just being forceful but staying within my limits, I might turn the tables on him and yank his hair, or otherwise shift play in that direction, or go in more of a wrestling/takedown direction, etc. If he ejaculated before I wanted him to, after I'd told him not to, I'd just keep going. If he wasn't physically up to it, I'd switch to doing something that didn't require him to be hard, until he recovered. I might "punish" him by leaving him frustrated and turned on after I was satisfied, but I wouldn't do a formal corporal punishment scene - that's not particularly my style. Bad subbies don't get spankings, they don't deserve them.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/28/2009 10:17:53 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		She still allowed it. This is whats known as a prelude for funishment. A setup for "failure", to lead to funishment later. In this scenario they might both be thinking of the funishment he is earning, as they orgasm. Yummy.

Make no mistake- she is still the controller.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/29/2009 7:23:45 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I’m going to be honest this threads been on my mind since yesterday. The situation bugs me for a couple different reasons so I’m going to be breaking down my response.

Firstly as a story: I think it’s hot. You can work in a cool punishment scene in later. I find him being aggressive a nice change of pace; then he gets taught later that its something that he’s not allowed to do. I’m assuming chastity might be what comes, a long with a little sadism?

Secondly if this happened in my relationship: I like aggression when it comes to sexual encounters. It’d be encouraged, he’d know this is something I want and need. The problem comes when he orgasms without permission. He agreed to the terms (not to orgasm), he then from the context above decides to orgasm. Now I love orgasm control it’s something that is a common theme in my relationships, I understand that accidents happen if that was the case no biggie. I’m know he’d let me know.

As I said the problem comes if he made the choice to cum. He then decided to break his promise to me. I’m with an adult so there wouldn’t be punishment. (I’m also guessing we’d not make it this far if it was the case since our personalities wouldn’t mesh.) I’m personally not able to be in a relationship that needs to have a punishment dynamic. Honestly there be a lot of talking and he’d know how disappointed I am in him. There is a real possibility that if it wasn’t in a marriage situation and it was just the beginning of the relationship it’d end. And this has nothing with his orgasm and everything to do with his breaking his promise to me. I believe there is a choice; “you” can choose to submit, if “you” agree to it then submit, otherwise make the choice not to.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? - 4/29/2009 4:03:50 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

The situation wouldn't even get off the ground.

I don't like men who are aggressive sexually so the whole thing would turn me off and there would not be any sex at all. In fact, I'd probably be a bit miffed that he initiated the encounter at all. Punishment might ensue from his initiation and that might lead to my sodomizing him without allowing him to orgasm but ... that's about it - lol.

Wickad

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 14
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> How do you deal with sexually aggresive subs? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078