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RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 2:41:00 AM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		It's hard to explain, I wouldn't give up anything, but for the right person there wouldn't be anything that I wouldn't give up. I guess it boils down to how it's phrased, I don't take ultimatums too well, so if someone said 'you must give up x' to me, I'd tell them to pound sand, but if I knew it were important to them that I do give something up, I would.




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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 6:04:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TaoWoman

Playing Devil's advocate here...

If a slave can chose what NOT to give up, is she a slave even by BDSM terms?

While these debates go on at adnauseom, it is still incredulous that a slave has so many choices, and why a woman who has a choice feels she needs to identify herself as slave when she is a submissive~



So since you're a slave, no doubt any time a drunk on the street shouts "show me your tits" you do just that? Because of course a 'true slave' doesn't have the choice of who to obey or any limits?

Until you agree to enter into a tpe, you have choices. And if you enter into it with someone who misrepresents himself and lies to you, you still have the choice to leave. So if the guy says no other women and once he collars you he then demands you bring your sister in, he's a liar and creep and you have the choice to walk.

But basically, I wasn't interested in a relationship that made me less. I don't respect people who make themselves bigger by making others smaller. I held out for a relationship which enriches my life instead of depleting it. He did the same, which is why neither of us were involved with anyone prior to meeting each other.

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(in reply to TaoWoman)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 6:15:47 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline 		I will not give up being me.

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(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 7:39:20 AM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		besides the obvious (child and family) the one thing I do not compromise on are my free spirit ways.  Its just who I am .  Although due to the fact that i'm generally attracted to older doms/men who are in different places of their lives than myself...I do fear that thats one thing that may be requested of me. Yikes. So I always put it in the forefront

(in reply to lilmissdefiant)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 8:04:50 AM   
Aly055


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

After a looooooong train of thoughts I'm going to be the selfish one and say nothing.
There ya go I admitted it!



Well, don't feel alone, I'm with ya on that--I've been faulted on more than one occasion for those feelings, having been told I was selfish, single minded, etc---and yeah ok maybe I just haven't meet the right person to make Me compromise or give something up---but yeah, so far, I haven't and I doubt very strongly that I ever will.


 

My previous two ex's told me I was too independent and that I was too cold.  Sex was okay but it wasn't anything exciting for me.  I hate to say it but it felt like more of a job than anything.  With my Dom, things are completely different;  it does just take the right person but I wouldn't say that it makes you compromise because you just find yourself changing and wanting to make that change.  I'm very independent the thing is if you complain about it and push me about it I'm just going to be even more independent. The more space you give me the more I'm going to want to be less independent to be around you more.  As far as the sex thing the last two relationships were nilla so I think that's a big part of it.  Also they were both inexperienced and I was too.  That definantley isn't an issue on the most part I'm not cold at all you just have to be the right person!

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 9:34:25 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

My question though is, other than the obvious or perhaps not so obvious ( health and anatomical parts)--what are you NOT willing to give up?
 


I have already agreed, to get rid of the ferret.But by God, you will NOT claim the lives of my kids!Princess, Danni and Jordon Aire are attached to my hip and if you attempt to remove them ~~ well just try !!   

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 4:16:38 PM   
liks2plzlf


Posts: 390
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		No football, no service (college football)

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 4:33:38 PM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TaoWoman

Playing Devil's advocate here...

If a slave can chose what NOT to give up, is she a slave even by BDSM terms?

While these debates go on at adnauseom, it is still incredulous that a slave has so many choices, and why a woman who has a choice feels she needs to identify herself as slave when she is a submissive~



A compatible partner won't need you to give up anything.

I gave up nothing and was never asked to give up anything in this relationship.  When I've been in a relationship that has required change, I changed the partner I was with.


_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to TaoWoman)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 6:15:29 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		If it's material in my case you can have it. I'm not averse to burning bridges or making changes where necessary to reach that 'certain point'..

Non-negotiable under any circumstances is my sense of personal integrity, my sense of self, my creativity, and what I give away freely to other people - for much of this is very much what I offer and bring to the relationship.

However I'm no longer prepared to sacrifice or give up as much as I used to for others until I'm pretty sure of what it is I'm getting myself into. In terms of WIITWD this is my one overriding principle - never get yourself into a situation that you cannot independently get yourself out of.

Some things can cost you far more than you think they do.

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 6:28:00 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		myself

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 6:30:02 PM   
BLKMADONA


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/11/2004
Status: offline 		My sanity.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 4/30/2009 8:33:57 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
A compatible partner won't need you to give up anything.

I gave up nothing and was never asked to give up anything in this relationship.  When I've been in a relationship that has required change, I changed the partner I was with.

Well, I see your point but I have to say this isn't an absolute for me. Master and I were/are extremely compatible but in order to be with Him fulltime and permanently, I had to move 800 miles south. This required "giving up" some things. I gave up living close to my best friend, mother, brother, sister and their families. I gave up my job as a library director. I gave up living in the mountains of West Virginia. I gave up living alone in my own space just as I wanted it.

I didn't see it as "losing" things though. I gave up alot but I gained alot in exchange. I maintain a close relationship with my friend and family and former coworkers. I got a better, better paying job with lots of chance for advancement. I no longer live in the country but I moved to a city with lots to offer and so much to do and enjoy. And, best of all, I get to be with Him all the time.

Being His required change but that doesn't have to be a dirty word or a bad thing. If I lost alot and gained nothing, that's "bad" change. Exchanging one set of good things for another is "good" change and that's what I accepted in order to be with Him.

So, therefore, I have to disagree with your statement that "a compatible partner won't need you to give up anything." If I had changed partners because "change" was required in my life, I'd have lost the best Man I've ever known.

Nah. Change ain't so bad

luci

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(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/1/2009 1:54:38 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR

I'm leaning towards the school of 'yield nothing' . . .. .

But on the other hand, if the aliens show up, I'm outta here -- which would kinda be giving up most everything . ....



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Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/1/2009 2:12:01 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		What catize said, verbatim.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/1/2009 5:57:32 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci


quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
A compatible partner won't need you to give up anything.

I gave up nothing and was never asked to give up anything in this relationship.  When I've been in a relationship that has required change, I changed the partner I was with.

Well, I see your point but I have to say this isn't an absolute for me. Master and I were/are extremely compatible but in order to be with Him fulltime and permanently, I had to move 800 miles south. This required "giving up" some things. I gave up living close to my best friend, mother, brother, sister and their families. I gave up my job as a library director. I gave up living in the mountains of West Virginia. I gave up living alone in my own space just as I wanted it.

I didn't see it as "losing" things though. I gave up alot but I gained alot in exchange. I maintain a close relationship with my friend and family and former coworkers. I got a better, better paying job with lots of chance for advancement. I no longer live in the country but I moved to a city with lots to offer and so much to do and enjoy. And, best of all, I get to be with Him all the time.

Being His required change but that doesn't have to be a dirty word or a bad thing. If I lost alot and gained nothing, that's "bad" change. Exchanging one set of good things for another is "good" change and that's what I accepted in order to be with Him.

So, therefore, I have to disagree with your statement that "a compatible partner won't need you to give up anything." If I had changed partners because "change" was required in my life, I'd have lost the best Man I've ever known.

Nah. Change ain't so bad

luci


It may be sematics, but I don't see change quite the same as giving up.  I thrive on change and yes, I quit a job and moved for this relationship however, I was already thinking about changing and he just gave me direction.

I've been rock bottom in my life jobless and homeless with small kids at one point.  At another point a lost an entire storage shed of stuff.  Jobs, homes, stuff, that isn't me and changing from one to another isn't giving anything up, it's simply life experiences.

And in a broader sense, for every decision you make, you give up other oppurtunities, so yeah, it's all sematics and perception, I think.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/1/2009 1:56:37 PM   
Handsomefella26


Posts: 5
Status: offline 		I won't goive up my morals, and my Job

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/1/2009 6:07:43 PM   
fallenravenlyn


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/27/2008
From: Detroit, MI
Status: offline 		I won't give up my hobbies. They're important to me and my dream is to be a novelist. So whoever I end up with, I'd like it if they are a support in that aspect. I also want to be who I am with a touch of influence from them as well. Then I'd be one happy camper. 

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/2/2009 9:33:50 PM   
DaintyDemure


Posts: 41
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline 		My heterosexuality.While my masculinity is forbidden and I have to wear only female clothes, this doesn't  mean that I'm gay. Not in the least. The two ladies that I serve know this and its an understood hard limit never to be broken. They have actually turned this rule around on me and I'm not allowed to even speak to another male. They want to restrict any male influence on me.

(in reply to fallenravenlyn)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/2/2009 10:00:38 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BLKMADONA

My sanity.


I can't give up what I don't have, that ship sailed a long, long time ago :)


_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to BLKMADONA)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: What are you not willing to give up? - 5/3/2009 4:50:20 AM   
puppypauer


Posts: 16
Joined: 6/18/2008
Status: offline 		I would never give up my urchins, my friends, my self identity

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Proudly owned by MrFester

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 60
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