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Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:08:14 AM   
mastermark666


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		hi to everyone..... we are a couple who enjoy alot of the lifestyle but i need some advice, My wife likes to be spanked hard but only juring sex which she really wants me to hurt her ass but if were not having sex she goes all shy how can i get her out of her shell and tell me what she wants to do, Ive tryed most things like talking, guiding etc but she still has real hangups about things any advice please.... MasterMark666
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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:12:48 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		can you have her fill out a BDSM checklist?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:37:30 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Perhaps it would help if she knew that sex was to immediately follow. 

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:46:30 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		or, perhaps she is a sexual submissive and these things are inextricably linked in her head?

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(in reply to mastermark666)
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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:48:30 AM   
TaoWoman


Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

can you have her fill out a BDSM checklist?


This was suggested back in Aug of 08 by  NeedingMore220  on this thread posted by the newly relocated English master seeking submissives : Shy submissive

Things do not appear to have progressed very far....


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:01:42 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		She doesn't like to be spanked outside the bedroom.  You're asking us what you should do to get her to like it.

Wrong question, guy.  The RIGHT question is, why doesn't she like it?  Once you know WHY, then you can decide how to proceed.

Getting her to do what you want is not a bad thing.  But getting her to do what is best for her should be considered.

Edited to add:  Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife.  Your profile states that you're single.  WTF?


< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 4/29/2009 7:09:19 AM >

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:19:27 AM   
ohsocheekyslave


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2009
Status: offline 		perhaps you and she can read together.....? you could try looking at takeninhand.com

good luck to you both....

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:20:28 AM   
ohsocheekyslave


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Edited to add:  Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife.  Your profile states that you're single.  WTF?



Ooh good spot!

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:29:40 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		Dude he only has a wife on tuesdays and thursdays, every other week.


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:33:39 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife. Your profile states that you're single. WTF?

good pick up, Stevie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Dude he only has a wife on tuesdays and thursdays, every other week.

plus two weeks in the summer and every other Christmas.


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:46:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...if were not having sex she goes all shy how can i get her out of her shell and tell me what she wants to do...


are you saying that your wife won't talk about sex with you unless you are in the throes of it?
 
...or are you saying that when you talk about sex with your wife and ask her pointed questions about what she specifically wants to do or have done to her, she doesn't say any particular thing or says stuff like..."whatever pleases YOU."?
 
...or are you saying something completely different and this slave just doesn't get it?

(in reply to mastermark666)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 10:31:26 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don't spank blow up dolls, they pop!  But if you are into extreme edge play... make sure you place her over your lap...

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 11:14:24 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 4:30:04 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		oh, come on guys, he was prolly only after a bit of harmless chit chat and flirting.  if he said he was married he'd have got nowhere, lets face it.

anyhoo, my thinking on this, if youre still here and all those scary mean people havent scared you off  is that possibly she needs some sexual arousal before you spank her.  so, instead of doing this in bed why not fool around on the sofa, get her hot for it and then spank her.  use a vibrator during to keep her going and then let her orgasm while shes over youre knee.  next time the same but a little less and so on, until maybe, possibly, eventually you can just be sitting there and haul her across for a spanking.  she'll have got used to the idea by then, you would have taken charge of the situation, which she needs from you btw and the awkwardness will have been dealt with.

shes just shy about being kinky without the excuse of sex as an alibi.  good luck.

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:34:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		She may however find it unpleasant to be spanked for punishment. Or she may have a very low tolerance to pain and needs high arousal to tolerate and enjoy spanking.

And I can't tell if she won't talk about it or she has told him before and simply feels no need for him to keep going over the same thing hoping each time she'll give a different answer.

Apparently you have an incompatibility here. You folks need to work it out.

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:05:02 AM   
mastermark666


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		thanks for all the advice esp Lally2 as for my status i am married but my profile does not say im single just looking for submissives to talk to so i can relate to what my wife wants tahts all many thanks again MasterMark666

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:08:12 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		How about talking to your wife and relating to her?  Or both of you going to the same place to relate and learn and grow?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:23:08 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		There seem to be many issues here.  One of which is his profile clearly stating he is looking for other submissive females to cane, also it lists one of his likes as dressing up as a maid... 

May i ask you MasterMark....does your wife know you are looking for other women?

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 4:25:25 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		ive come up with another way of doing that thing on the sofa. 

you could turn it into a game of orgasm denial.  so you have her over youre knee and you tell her that if she orgasms shes going to be spanked.

you are in control, or so it would seem, but actually she is.  she can choose between resisting orgasm or giving in and having her bum spanked.  its a game so it relieves tension.  it would be a fun variation on the theme and it would get it out of the bedroom.

(in reply to GabrielleSlave)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Spanking my wife - 5/1/2009 6:26:19 AM   
mastermark666


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		im not looking for women to spank only to learn from others knowing what a submissive wants, and Masters do! I think she only likes to be spanked hard when she is really turned on and lets herself go which i really like so ill have to work on that a bit to bring her out of her shell, Thanks for all the advice i will try these new things on her and see how she goes MasterMark666

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 20
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