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Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:08:14 AM   
mastermark666


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hi to everyone..... we are a couple who enjoy alot of the lifestyle but i need some advice, My wife likes to be spanked hard but only juring sex which she really wants me to hurt her ass but if were not having sex she goes all shy how can i get her out of her shell and tell me what she wants to do, Ive tryed most things like talking, guiding etc but she still has real hangups about things any advice please.... MasterMark666
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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:12:48 AM   
sirsholly


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can you have her fill out a BDSM checklist?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:37:30 AM   
chamberqueen


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Perhaps it would help if she knew that sex was to immediately follow. 

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:46:30 AM   
leadership527


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or, perhaps she is a sexual submissive and these things are inextricably linked in her head?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 6:48:30 AM   
TaoWoman


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From: Kpe'me', Togo
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

can you have her fill out a BDSM checklist?


This was suggested back in Aug of 08 by 
NeedingMore220  on this thread posted by the newly relocated English master seeking submissives : Shy submissive

Things do not appear to have progressed very far....


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:01:42 AM   
DarkSteven


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She doesn't like to be spanked outside the bedroom.  You're asking us what you should do to get her to like it.

Wrong question, guy.  The RIGHT question is, why doesn't she like it?  Once you know WHY, then you can decide how to proceed.

Getting her to do what you want is not a bad thing.  But getting her to do what is best for her should be considered.

Edited to add:  Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife.  Your profile states that you're single.  WTF?


< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 4/29/2009 7:09:19 AM >


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:19:27 AM   
ohsocheekyslave


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perhaps you and she can read together.....? you could try looking at takeninhand.com

good luck to you both....

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 7:20:28 AM   
ohsocheekyslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Edited to add:  Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife.  Your profile states that you're single.  WTF?



Ooh good spot!

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:29:40 AM   
subtlebutterfly


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Dude he only has a wife on tuesdays and thursdays, every other week.


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:33:39 AM   
sirsholly


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From: Quietville
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quote:

Your post and previous posts describe your relationship with your wife. Your profile states that you're single. WTF?

good pick up, Stevie.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

Dude he only has a wife on tuesdays and thursdays, every other week.

plus two weeks in the summer and every other Christmas.


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:46:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

...if were not having sex she goes all shy how can i get her out of her shell and tell me what she wants to do...


are you saying that your wife won't talk about sex with you unless you are in the throes of it?
 
...or are you saying that when you talk about sex with your wife and ask her pointed questions about what she specifically wants to do or have done to her, she doesn't say any particular thing or says stuff like..."whatever pleases YOU."?
 
...or are you saying something completely different and this slave just doesn't get it?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 10:31:26 AM   
Lockit


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Don't spank blow up dolls, they pop!  But if you are into extreme edge play... make sure you place her over your lap...

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 11:14:24 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 4:30:04 PM   
lally2


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oh, come on guys, he was prolly only after a bit of harmless chit chat and flirting.  if he said he was married he'd have got nowhere, lets face it.

anyhoo, my thinking on this, if youre still here and all those scary mean people havent scared you off  is that possibly she needs some sexual arousal before you spank her.  so, instead of doing this in bed why not fool around on the sofa, get her hot for it and then spank her.  use a vibrator during to keep her going and then let her orgasm while shes over youre knee.  next time the same but a little less and so on, until maybe, possibly, eventually you can just be sitting there and haul her across for a spanking.  she'll have got used to the idea by then, you would have taken charge of the situation, which she needs from you btw and the awkwardness will have been dealt with.

shes just shy about being kinky without the excuse of sex as an alibi.  good luck.

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/29/2009 8:34:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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She may however find it unpleasant to be spanked for punishment. Or she may have a very low tolerance to pain and needs high arousal to tolerate and enjoy spanking.

And I can't tell if she won't talk about it or she has told him before and simply feels no need for him to keep going over the same thing hoping each time she'll give a different answer.

Apparently you have an incompatibility here. You folks need to work it out.

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:05:02 AM   
mastermark666


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thanks for all the advice esp Lally2 as for my status i am married but my profile does not say im single just looking for submissives to talk to so i can relate to what my wife wants tahts all many thanks again MasterMark666

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:08:12 AM   
Lockit


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How about talking to your wife and relating to her?  Or both of you going to the same place to relate and learn and grow?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 6:23:08 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
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From: in servitude
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There seem to be many issues here.  One of which is his profile clearly stating he is looking for other submissive females to cane, also it lists one of his likes as dressing up as a maid... 

May i ask you MasterMark....does your wife know you are looking for other women?

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RE: Spanking my wife - 4/30/2009 4:25:25 PM   
lally2


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ive come up with another way of doing that thing on the sofa. 

you could turn it into a game of orgasm denial.  so you have her over youre knee and you tell her that if she orgasms shes going to be spanked.

you are in control, or so it would seem, but actually she is.  she can choose between resisting orgasm or giving in and having her bum spanked.  its a game so it relieves tension.  it would be a fun variation on the theme and it would get it out of the bedroom.

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RE: Spanking my wife - 5/1/2009 6:26:19 AM   
mastermark666


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im not looking for women to spank only to learn from others knowing what a submissive wants, and Masters do! I think she only likes to be spanked hard when she is really turned on and lets herself go which i really like so ill have to work on that a bit to bring her out of her shell, Thanks for all the advice i will try these new things on her and see how she goes MasterMark666

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