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actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 2:49:48 PM   
NightTigress


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This coming from the top of the food chain

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." >>(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those       forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!) 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) 
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or  genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) 

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 5:01:00 PM   
Saratov


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Also remember not to use your hair dryer in the shower or bathtub.
Don't use your curling iron in there either.
Keep in mind it may be hot while in use, and for a while afterward.
Remember, your fast food coffee will probably be HOT when you get it.
Don't put your hands or feet under your lawn mower or snow blower while they are running.
Don't try to stop your weed eater with your hand.
Don't touch your power saw blade while it is running.

< Message edited by Saratov -- 4/29/2009 5:04:02 PM >

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 5:07:51 PM   
NightTigress


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I think we can thank the sue happy USA for most of these 

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 5:10:46 PM   
GoodFeathers


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I bought a cigarette lighter once that had the words "Do not use near open flame" on the warning label.  It's rather difficult to light a cigarette when you're doubled over with the giggle fits.

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 9:49:25 PM   
kinkienesss


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i once bought a package of Japanese knives and it said keep out of children on the package

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/29/2009 11:39:11 PM   
Termyn8or


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Keep out of children ? Yup I guess so.

From a comedian, don't remember who - On a ladder - do not eat. He went on to say that anyone who eats a ladder deserves whatever happens to them.

To this day I am havung trouble visualising that.

T

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/30/2009 10:34:48 AM   
MadAxeman


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Maybe you need steptacles Termy

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/30/2009 10:54:58 AM   
SweetDommes


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My mom had a button maker ... you know, the little press that you can use to make pins and stuff out of pictures ... I kid you not, on the thing was printed:
Do not pull lever while hand is in machine.

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/30/2009 4:29:45 PM   
Termyn8or


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OUCH. My buddhy told me he crushed his thumbs and forefingers in a punch press when he was younger. For months he needed help to take a pee. I bet he didn't go out drinking with the boys much.

T

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RE: actual label instructions on consumer good - 4/30/2009 9:45:53 PM   
LafayetteLady


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Diet aids advise against giving to infants

Litigation happy USA?  Probably.  But the frightening thing is that people have stupidly done those things because the labels didn't tell them not to.

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