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What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:09:44 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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So, we have a bunch of the femdoms making sarcastic remarks because they keep getting the same questions. This thread in particular:

The same 10 questions always asked
http://www.collarchat.com/m.asp?m=2583294

It's all kind of funny stuff, especially since I have asked many of those same questions. The problem is that I don't see a lot of compassion or understanding to the guys who are in the predicament of making the first move if they want to send a message.

Think of it from a sub male's point of view: He sees an profile (assuming he is smart enough to actually read it) and more than likely the profile isn't going to answer a lot of questions. Few profiles do. A few women say "no married men" so I don't bother, but many don't say that so of course I'm going to ask the question. If she didn't want to be asked that, she should have specified her aversion to married men in her profile. Especially after the 100th guy that asks that question. Duh!

So the sub asks a few questions. I have no doubt that many of you hear the same questions but most of them I have read so far are perfectly reasonable questions. Just what questions is a sub guy supposed to ask?

So, just to educate us dumb guys, would you be nice enough to list 10 questions we can ask that don't get your prickly spines up?

Post #: 1

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:25:21 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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A lot of women don't state an aversion to zombie fucking in their profiles, so naturally I would always send them messages asking "Would you be interested in using dark necromatic powers to raise the bodies of the once-living for hot, hot undead sex together?"

Because we all know that not publicly blaring out broad, common cultural/social norms and common sense inferences is a tacit endorsement for disregarding them!

< Message edited by aidan -- 4/29/2009 10:33:21 PM >

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 2

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:38:17 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
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Aidan -- your profile says you are a student. For that comment I'll give you a grade of F for not reading and comprehending my post. You made a tautological error, which is quite unforgivable.

Reread what I said about "100th", analyze what that implies in broad general terms, and then relate that to your error in what you just wrote. I would happy to give you a better grade if you do some thinking.

Now I see why so many of those women are complaining about men not reading.

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 3

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:38:20 PM

MistressTaboo

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
Status: offline

Have your profile filled out.
Have your likes and dislikes filled out.
Have read my likes and dislikes and KNOW if there is the magic 85% compatibility or not.
Do not ask me a question that is in my profile. Tells me you haven't read it.
Do not ask me if I like something under my dislikes.

Do not expect to be better, smarter, taller, younger, or hotter than my husband. Out of all the men in the world I married HIM. He's going to be there LONG after you are a distant memory. Do not put him down or try and be competitive with him.

Answer the question I put at the bottom of my profile to make sure you read the WHOLE damn thing.

If you can't be cute and clever like Aidan's necromancy which would of had me laughing and actually replying (Huge Anita Blake fan).

If you are married suggest some respect to your wife in your sentence.

I am married my wife knows that I am kinky and she sets my limits for my play. That says you are not a cheater...

And show some consideration for the person on the other side of the screen. They are human too.

_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to aidan)

Post #: 4

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:40:55 PM

MistressTaboo

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Aidan -- your profile says you are a student. For that comment I'll give you a grade of F for not reading and comprehending my post. You made a tautological error, which is quite unforgivable.

Reread what I said about "100th", analyze what that implies in broad general terms, and then relate that to your error in what you just wrote. I would happy to give you a better grade if you do some thinking.

Now I see why so many of those women are complaining about men not reading.

Ya know...I'd rather respond to what HE wrote than you!

_____________________________

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed" Meredith Brooks

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 5

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:41:14 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTaboo

Answer the question I put at the bottom of my profile to make sure you read the WHOLE damn thing.

If you can't be cute and clever like Aidan's necromancy which would of had me laughing and actually replying (Huge Anita Blake fan).

quote:

That's a perfectly reasonable request. Thankyou!

Aidan's reply was cute but it was far from clever. See my reply to find out why.

< Message edited by azjojoba -- 4/29/2009 11:02:12 PM >

(in reply to MistressTaboo)

Post #: 6

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:43:48 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressTaboo

Ya know...I'd rather respond to what HE wrote than you!

I don't blame you. The last mistress that tried to challenge me intellectually got so frustrated she decided to block my posts.

(in reply to MistressTaboo)

Post #: 7

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:54:04 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
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"Try" is not the correct term. She took you to task for being a cowardly, amoral jerk, an observation nearly everyone here agreed with, and then blocked you.

But no, I'm sure you outsmarting her is a much more comforting delusion.

And as for the tautology post...

< Message edited by aidan -- 4/29/2009 10:56:41 PM >

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 8

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 10:54:42 PM

LAgirlsub

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/16/2009
Status: offline

[/quote]

That's a perfectly reasonable request. Thankyou!

Aidan's reply was cute but it was far from clever. See my reply to find out why.

[/quote]

Azjojoba - as a sub woman I've just got to state the obvious...you're not going to get far trying to meet dom women particularly with your last sentence - it's snotty and even jealous of Aidan's fun response. I have no horse in this race (really) so take my perspective as one less biased.

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 9

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 11:13:32 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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He has given up trying to get a domina from the boards... he is just here now to try to say inflamitory things. Soon that won't work either...

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LAgirlsub)

Post #: 10

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 11:21:07 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

Azjojoba - as a sub woman I've just got to state the obvious...you're not going to get far trying to meet dom women particularly with your last sentence - it's snotty and even jealous of Aidan's fun response. I have no horse in this race (really) so take my perspective as one less biased.

LAgirl -- I blew it on CM a long time ago. If I was serious about meeting a domme here I would change my identity and for the most part keep quiet. Actually, I might have already done that already.

(in reply to LAgirlsub)

Post #: 11

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/29/2009 11:24:04 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

He has given up trying to get a domina from the boards... he is just here now to try to say inflamitory things. Soon that won't work either...

It's not fair for you to say that. The question in my post is not inflammatory. I'll admit some of my replies are, but only in response to insults instead of answers. So far only Mistress Taboo has given a good answer. All the rest of you have spent your time flaming me, so just who is it that is really inflammatory?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 12

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 4:55:04 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I wanted to be fair about this, so I went back and looked at My own profile to see what information was and wasn't contained in it. I have what I consider to be a 50/50 profile. What I mean by that is that fifty percent of it is positive and fifty percent of it is negative. The fifty percent that is negative relates to those things that are put in there so as to automatically tell people that they do not suit My needs. Examples of this are the statements that I make regarding people in other locations, that I am not interested in CDs/TV/s/TGs, etc.

I do have to pause here though, and say that I do agree with aidan. No, I don't put every unacceptable situation on My profile. In My experience, there are certain hard limits that an overwhelming majority of people have. I accept them to be a given. The same holds true for moral and ethical standards. You could go out on the street today and ask 100 people if they welcome or accept dishonest people in their lives. You're not going to find many that will happily say yes. That, I also think should be a given.

Back to the subject. So, I opened My own profile and while automatically excluding the questions that could be related to the 50% that is negative (because that's never a good place to start) went for the questions that are related to the 50% that is positive. Some of these are questions that I have received, and been more than happy to answer.

1. Can you tell me about events happening near you?

2. What kind of classes have you presented on?

3. What are your requirements to consider someone to be a casual play partner?

4. What type of poly do you consider yourself?

5. Why are neither your husband or your sub living with you at this time?

6. Exactly what is a Master's Cap?

7. Where were your pictures taken?

8. How often do you get to the places you mention traveling to?

9. What public clubs are the places that you usually play?

10. I'd like to ask a question regarding something you've written on the forums.

Now, take that list and compare it to My profile. All of the above questions make perfect sense and even open the door to the possibility of some opportunities.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 13

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 4:57:55 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Your question is a valid one. The types of questions that I enjoyed having someone ask would include such things as:

1. What main qualities do you look for in a sub? (If it was not spelled out in my profile)
2. May I continue to email you? (Note email, not chat)
3. Is there anything that you have ever wanted to try but haven't? (Which would get my mind working)
4. A question having specifically to do with my profile or my journal entries, perhaps on what made me feel the need to post that particular journal entry (since mine were often written as teaching aids)
5. A question about nonBDSM things that I enjoy.

Some of the replies on the other post were given tongue in cheek, but I can't tell you how sick I got of people asking me if that was really my photo. I didn't know if that was a backhanded compliment, like they really didn't believe I looked like that, or if it was a way of calling me a liar. They were face shots only, very discreet, and I would never dream of stealing someone else's photo and pretending it was me.

As for people posting that they prefer not to be involved with someone that is already married, it is such a universal taboo for most that you can take it as a given whether it is posted or not. Just like the people who aren't into scat play don't post that because there are such a minority that are it just doesn't seem to need to be said.

_____________________________

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 14

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 5:03:06 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Personally I feel it might not be a bad idea to have a thread such as this... but it doesn't seem real positive to me to start it out with sarcasm and a poor history with many of the dominant's who will be answering. Maybe originally wanting to address/exlpain something said by you azjojoba and then responding from attitude isn't a real good place to continue what might be a good topic... but just not good between some people.

Fair or not in what I said... I just left the other thread where you were challenging me and you cannot forget your posting history and my response to it.... my response to you will be very limited if done at all. I will not be drawn into battle with you but I won't be harassed, poked at etc. You seem to really take pleasure in challenging, playing innocent and challenging again... You are good at provoking people, but it only works for so long.

So, bottom line... in a thread that isn't started with snarky attitude... I might address the topic.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 15

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 5:23:07 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

Well let's see if I can give you a pretty basic example, yesterday I received a note from a submissive who mentioned that being in NC surrounded by My horses must be My section of paradise---versus---one I got 2 weeks ago that stated--"do you make your slaves lick your horses xxx clean"---neither one started out with a salutation, but you tell Me which one got a response?

It doesn't matter what we put in our profiles, we are still bombarded by ignorant, vulgar, socially inept phucktards. Granted, we don't need to be here. I am, I deal with it, it doesn't mean I have to like it or I can't bitch about it on occasion.

I do agree, if you don't want marrieds, say so. If you don't want xxx, say so, though for some I will say it may depend on the person---personally, My Don't wants are unbendable no matter who reads them or writes to Me.

So I expect some casual conversation:

How do you like NC
How many horses do you have
I have/had horses
Are you a UNC fan
How long have you been on CM
Have you found CM productive

etc etc etc

I saw a profile a few days ago, he was a Michigan Fan, made mention of winning next year---I am from North Carolina, so a quick note about UNC and NCAA razzing for fun. Contacts do not always need to be kink focused.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 16

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 7:32:08 AM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

This is a good thread. Don't let it get side-tracked!

Hello A/all,

Aidan's point about style is valid. I can ask "Will you please mount and envelop my turgid male member and ride me til one or both of us is singing 'Sweet Mystery of Life?'" (if I receive a no, I can maybe salvage the situation by asking 'you mean the singing?') I think that it beats "Wanna fuck?"

Lady Pact's post was most edifying to me. I would never have thought of most of those questions.

Cat deMedici and Chamber Queen have a point about non-kink questions. I recently saw a profile where the Lady had "bird watching" as a Hard Limit. I asked her about it, relating about an Ornithology class I took some time back. We've had fun (and for me educational) exchanges ever since.

So to the "what' of the OP, I'd like to add: how should they be asked?

Snowless and Agitated,
Mike

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 17

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 8:43:01 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Thank you, mike. When I wrote the response, the questions that I designed were literally a path to meeting people, discussing compatibility, and hopefully helping the submissive male see how to open those doors. As to the how, at the risk of repeating Myself, key points.

You have to read the profile in order to pull questions from it. The material is generally in there.

Ask in a polite and courteous manner. Much the same you would if you were meeting this person at a munch or something.

Spell check, spell check, spell check!

Don't come across as a horn dog, a sniveling worm, or any other stereotype. Just be you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SnowRanger)

Post #: 18

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 10:13:03 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Don't come across as a horn dog, a sniveling worm, or any other stereotype. Just be you.

I must say, LP - in all seriousness - that might well be contradictory to a lot of people. The advice to 'be yourself' flies right by a lot of - I have to say it - men because if they were being themselves all they'd be doing is writing the equivalent of "Hell, you give me boner the size of Belgium! I want to get into/under your pants NOW!!'.

I'd suggest a better two sentences of advice would be "Be yourself, but be a gentleman". (And if the man thinks those to sentences contradict one another other, he shouldn't write at all.)

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 4/30/2009 10:45:54 AM >

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 19

RE: What 10 questions should be asked? - 4/30/2009 10:28:55 AM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

As for 'Be Your Self,' I have one story to relate. My Crew (and , of course, I) was on a long shift on one of those Californis Brush Fires (avoid these). We were sitting down to eat and discussing just that thing. One of the guys, A Monty Python fan, piped up, Yeah. I'll walk up to a woman in a bar and say... 'We are the Knights who say Nigh (or knee... or something).' that'll work!" We were pretty slap-happy by this point and there wasn't a dry eye in the whole Division.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 20

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